Little Miss Smarty Pants!

I didn't even know, oh well. It's nice to know now.....better late than never. :) Toot toot!

Scroll down to see my name in bold.
p.s. I'd give my full name....but ya know... ;)


HCC Honors Night salutes more than 100

There were smiles galore as more than 100 were saluted Friday for their hard work and achievements as Henderson Community College students.

The students received awards and scholarships for academics as well as organizational endeavors.

Honor Roll

Kelley Marie Abrams, Andrea Lynne Baity, Linda J. Battle, Crystal Jean Best, Pamela D. Boone, Robin Marie Bowers, Chasidy Dawn Breeding, Rebecca A. Brooks, Andrew Keith Brown, Megan Nichole Brown, Addie Elizabeth Bryant, Gretchen M. Buckman, Daniel Bryce Bullock, Erin L. Caldwell, Jennafer L. Chandler, Lauren M. Clark, Joanna Hite Clement, Heather Nicole Collins, Jeanie Collins, Mary Emily Conrad, Franah B. Cook, Bridget Rana Courtney, Lisa J. Cox, Katie Erin Crooke, April Lynn Crosley, Jeanette Marie Cupra, Erica Denise Dale, Jamie Marie Dillon-Jones, Amy Hogan Dunford, Christopher S. Economy, Jamie Renee Edmaiston, Lynnsey J. Ellis, Miranda C. Flynn, Julie M. Fuchs, Stacy Jo Fuqua, Bethany M. Glazebrook, Alisa M. Goff, Brandon Tyler Gower, Jessica Greenwood-Markle, Zachary George Hartmire, Cara Rochelle Hickey, Hillary Sue Holcomb, Sylvia Nicole Hood, Megan Renee Jacob, Lacy E. Jimenez, Matthew McLane Jones, Lenora Morris King, Scottie Koonce, Lindsay Morgan Lambrich, Holly Anne Lawrie, Doris J. Lawson, Brandi M. Lewis, Adam Joseph Libbert, Karen Diane Lickey, Jamie Nicole Lindsey, Samantha Anne Logan, Mitch E. Lovell, Teresa Ann Lynn, Lynnette K. McIntyre, Jessica Nicole McKenzie, Cassie L. Moore, Helen Michelle Mosley, Mitzi Jean Murphy, Paige Michelle Nation, Whitney C. Noel, Heather Rachel Ottenbaker, Jared M. Patterson, Lynde S. Pharris, Josh Allen Powell, Katy Lyn Raley, Jill R. Rector, Diana G. Riggs, Brandee R. Roberson, Christina M. Roberts, Dena Sue Rosebrock, Theresa L. Sauer, Tina Louise Smith, Judy Ann Sorrells-Billings, Tanya B. Stanley, Christy D. ______, Jama Renee Stocking, Bonnie Sue Straker, David Andrew Sutton, Tabitha Ann Sutton, Paige Shavonne Taylor, Autumn D. Thomas, Barbara Sue Thomas, Eric Thomas, Kimberly Vinson, Kaitlyn Kristine Walker, Lana Marie Weber, Krista Ann Weldon, Carol Ann Wheeler, Adam T. Wolfe and Donna Ward Wolfe.


5/3/2008





More than 100 saluted at HCC Honors Night

It was their time to shine, and shine they did Friday night when more than 100 of them were saluted for their hard work and achievements as Henderson Community College students.

As proud families watched in the auditorium of the campus fine arts center, the students received awards and scholarships for academics as well as organizational endeavors.

Dean's List

Kelley Marie Abrams, Mary Denise Adams, Brandi Rose Beck, Sherri Ann Blaine, Loria A. Bryan, Darius Julian Collier, Letitia Ann Curtsinger, Sandra Dawn Elmendorf Daniel, Tiffany Leigh Dant, LuAnn Harris Davis, Nicole Marie Dempsey, Wendy Sue Denney, Kirkland Blue Dyer, Jamie Lynn Edge, Sharon B. Edwards, Justin Wayne Elliott, Laura Lynn Gross, Michelle Dawn Hein, Meagan Cory Hendrix, Amy Devon Hobgood, Susan Ashby Hollis, Sylvia Nicole Hood, Heather Kennette Jones, Kimberly Renee Jones-Vinson, Amanda Courtney Long, Julie Nichole McLevain, Gordon Michael Meighen, Anthony Scott Mercer, Kayla LeAnne Pirtle, Aurora M. Reburn, Sarah L. Rideout, Valarie M. Roberts, Amy S. Ross, Wendy Marie Rumsey, Christy D. ________, Jama Renee Stocking, Katherine Joyce Stone and Kimberly Dawn Wheeler.




5/5/2007

The Results Are In...

I woke up this morning knowing that the results would be posted on the pearson vue website. It still said "the results aren't ready". So I sat with myself in my quiet sleepy house and had a talk with God and told him that whatever will happen will happen and that I'm leaving it in his hands now. I also knew that by the time I was finished with my prayer the results would be ready and sure enough it read.."the results are in" so I went to grab my debit card and made the slow, knee knocking trek back to my computer. I typed in all the information, crying like a baby the whole time, prepared for the word "fail" and clicked the next button with my eyes covered. When I opened them all I could read was the word... "PASS"! I jumped out of my seat, ran to my husband, woke him up crying that I had passed. What a feeling. I am still in shock. God is good!

I PASSED....I'm officially an RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I Took This Little Test Yesterday...

When I woke up yesterday morning I had the feeling of someone who was waking to her death. I can't explain the feeling other than to say I was so scared I was numb. Going into the testing center was all a blur. I remember handing the lady my ATT (Authorization To Test) and giving her my drivers license then kissing my husband goodbye as if he was never coming back for me. He had this smile on his cute little face that read "I'm proud of you" but I didn't feel very proud at that moment. When he walked out I felt so alone.

There were about 5 other girls there...all looking a bit like me...terrible. So they handed me a form to read the rules of the exam, which basically said...nothing aloud inside except you...no watches, no gum, no phone, no purse, no nothing. I wondered for a moment if they may strip search me. I got a locker and a key and nervously put my things inside. I was so anxious I locked my locker before I even opened it. lol Then they call my name again and I had to have my fingerprint scanned about 5 times...they ain't playing y'all. Then I sat in the chair and they took my picture. No smile, no expression except a blank look of fear. The picture is worth a thousand words. Marlene Hurst said that our NCLEX photos would look like we had exopthalmus....mine surely did. It looks like a mugshot. Oy!

So I was motioned to enter "the" room. Before I walked in, there sat a lady...the "test proctor" she had a desk just outside the room that was glass so she could see everyone testing. She explained there were cameras and microphones recording our every sound and movement. She then handed me a dry erase board and had me scan my fingerprint to again verify it was me. I mean...it was me 2 paces before I got to the door....no one switched identities with me! Talk about a negative environment. I sat at my desk (I was in cubicle #4), she logged me on the computer and so it began. It started with the test rules and how to click and drag and crap. I was too nervous to read it so I just kept clicking next to get on with it. When the first question popped onto the screen I think I could actually hear my heartbeat and let me tell you it was beating HARD and fast! If I didn't take some slow breaths at that moment I may have had a heart attack.

I don't even remember the first question, but I do remember thinking that this was it and it was what I've come this far for....no pressure!!! It took me about an hour and a half to get to the 75th question...all of which were a blur. I closed my eyes and clicked next and opened them and there was question 76. GULP! So I won't be stopping just yet...it's ok...it just hasn't determined how I'm doing. Keep focusing Christy you're still in the game...

The questions were not as hard as I expected them to be, but I can't say that I got ANY correct either. That's the nature of the NCLEX beast you see? It is built up to be this MONSTER, a scary, angry, judgemental one too. When I say not as difficult, what I mean is...it may ask...who do you see first then give you 4 very hard answers to choose from. It's kind of straight forward, but the answers is where the beast lies. He hides in there and makes you second guess everything you think and I did second guess....everything. Sigh.

Around the 150th question I began to doubt my abilities. I knew the way the test is designed and I knew it hadn't made a definitve decision on whether or not I should pass or fail. If it keeps going, it means you are on that line and I felt the test teetering the whole time. For instance, I would get some really difficult priority questions and then I'd get a simple, no nonsense fact based question that let me know I wasn't doing too hot. That can make a person nervous and it did. The majority of my questions were priority, delegation and teaching. I had a handful of "basic" questions, about 8-9 drug questions (all of which I'm sure I got wrong b/c I suck at pharm) 2 calculation ones and about 5-6 select all that apply...hate those!

By question 180 I was beginning to get spent and upset, I opted out of all my "recommended" breaks because I was afraid I may run out of time, the clock doesn't stop for your breaks. My nerves were shot and I was hoping and praying that the damn thing would just shut off, tell me I'm a moron and send me home already with my dunce cap. It seemed the more questions I got, the more nervous I became and the worse I felt I was doing. SIGH!!!!!! I felt like the test was trying to pass me, but I just wasn't complying. It was laughing at me...let's give her more more MORE! The damn clock just kept ticking away and it didn't help that the girl in the cube next to me had to clear her throat 1000 times! I've never had the urge to smack someone as much as I did yesterday.

Question 200 had me thinking I would just fail. I lost all confidence and b/c I was worried I would run out of time I started reading the questions and answering more quickly. Looking back, I wish I hadn't done that. I was so anxious and brain fried that I was to the point of hyperventilating and feeling like a big failure. I get to question #221 and it was about something very close to me...think hard y'all cuz I can't tell...it's against the law and you all know I am a law abiding citizen. (wink) It was a priority question. Anyway..I thought...SURELY I can answer THIS question...so I submit my answer and the damn thing shut off. Screen black, heart pounding, tears stinging the back of my eyes. I prayed so hard that it would shut off and when it did I felt like a bumbling fool. A part of me wanted it to go on so I could "prove" myself some more, but I also felt a sense of relief to just get the hell out of that rat cage. I raced through the survey at the end, don't even know if I told them I was a female or not. I fumbled in my locker and said something to the test lady that I don't recall and walked out the door.

Outside the door was a very long hallway that I don't even remember walking down a four hours before. It seemed to take me FOREVER to get to the end...dead man walking...that was me. I call my husband and can barely form the words...come get me. I had no words for what had just happened. It felt like a disaster and as soon as I got in the car I cried and didn't stop until I got home. I am almost certain I failed. I was too nervous and wasn't able to think clearly. All of my preparation, everyting I knew went out the window when I sat down at that computer...along with my common sense. I feel so ashamed that I let my fear take control of me and possibly ruined things for my family.

I don't yet know how I did and almost don't want to know. I know that "everyone" thinks they fail...that's the NCLEX way, as they say...but I really, honestly, truly think I did and I could just cry right now thinking of it. I screwed up...I got too anxious and my brain just shut down. I don't want to go through this again and am so jealous of those who pass the first time. I've already chalked it up that I failed and the wait to know for CERTAIN is one of the hardest waits...it's sheer torture. I've checked the pearson vue website all day and it only says "my results aren't available at this time". I know it usually takes 48 hours, but still...I just want to know so I can have my pity party then move on. Who knows, maybe God has other plans for me....atleast that is what I am telling myself.

Anyhow...I just wanted to share. I should know something by tomorrow if the quick results show up over the weekend...if not, it will be Monday. Ugh.....hope your NCLEX expereince is much better than mine. If I have any advice to give any of you it is to REMAIN CALM! Don't freak out like I did. Just don't...

STRESS!

I take the NCLEX this coming week....I'm so nervous that I've been tachy, had GI distress, heart palpitations and I need a xanax ASA freakin' P! Everyone that I've told says....you'll be 'fine'. How in the hell do they know? If I don't know if I'll do well, then how does anyone else? I admit it...I'm scared out of my mind. I don't feel ready, can't think straight because of the anxiety and just don't know what to do with myself. I feel like my head is going to explode with all of the info I've been cramming in it. HELP!

Everyone has passed except one person and I feel so bad for them I could cry. I have this sinking feeling that I will be in their shoes....UGH!

(Don't read further if you are just starting nursing school!)
If I knew that nursing school was going to cause this much stress I might not have done it. Ever since ns I have become a changed woman....a majorly stressed out, OCD germaphobe freak. How do you learn 2 years worth of material at once and how does someone sit down for THE most important exam of their life and be cool, calm and collected? I don't have any of the answers (literally!).

I've been praying, but it isn't helping. I've tried deep breathing and the like...NADA. I'm just nervous as all get out. I know this sounds so silly, but just wait until it's your time to take this test....then you'll understand...yes you will. Sigh.

I'm trying to think positive, but it's hard when you feel unprepared. The thing is...how do you prepare for this? For the next few days before the test I am doing nothing but questions....questions and questions until I puke knowledge.

So far I've covered med-surg, psych, maternity, delegation and I need to complete peds. So far I feel like I don't remember anything I read. Normal lab values....PFFT! Unless they are the most common....forgetaboutit! Anything I would have to memorize...stages of labor, Erickson's, growth and development....whatever...it ain't happening. I haven't the patience. GUess we'll find out soon enough how well I do...

Just say a prayer....not that I pass, but that I'm calm enough on test day to even think about what the questions are asking, because right now...I can barely even type.

Ok...enough of my rant. Hope all is well ;-)

I got bored and cut off my hair...

Can I just say that ever since I started getting closer to taking the NCLEX I have had more and more anxiety and GI distress. Ok...maybe a little too much info, but it's true! I am not going to say exactly when I'm taking the boards ecxept to say it will be in the next few weeks. I'm sooo nervous....anyone out there who can give me some advice?????????? I need some MAJOR reassurance right now folks, Mayjah!

I'm still doing orientation, believe it or not, couple it with working the night shift and you get one tired old woman. (Insert my photo here). Last week and this next week we are learning about EKG's and will be tested over it. I thought I was done with tests....geez. Oh.. and because of my nerves I went and got most of my hair cut off... 7 inches!!! I probably shouldn't have, but was ready for a change and I guess I was bored. I know, I'm weird. It's till long enough for me to put in a pony tail...which is essential for a low maintenace girl like me. I'll post a pic soon. I look different. :/

I've been keeping in contact with my school friends and most of them are taking or have already taken the NCLEX and all have passed so far. There are only about 7-8 people left to take it, myself included. I just can' get past my nervousness. I need to stop it so I can FOCUS! Ok...onto studying now....

NCLEX Horror

Almost everyone in my class has taken the NCLEX and passed! I'm happy for them, but somehow it just adds more pressure for the rest of us to pass. I will be taking mine by the first week of March and LORD I am so scared. I wish I could take it earlier, but in Kentucky you have to have 120 hours of 'floor time' before you can sit for boards and mine will be finished next Wednesday, but that's too soon. I want to give myself a couple of weeks to prepare and atleast feel ready. Everyone says it's sooo hard and indescribable...well shit! Just say a prayer that I can pass this. I need this monkey off my back!

I'm Going to Disney World!

Starting a new job is always difficult, whether it's something you have a degree in or if you're a Piggly Wiggley grocery bagger. Learning everything is a battle and can make you feel quite stupid for a while...especially in healthcare when there are so many rules.
Rule Number 1- Know what the different dr's like or else you may get chewed up and spit out.
Number 2- If you don't know...ASK!
Number 3- double check everything, then double check it again.
Number 4- Don't assume you know anything, because you don't know Jack.
Number 5- Throw out everything you learned in nursing school, it doesn't apply here. Number 6- The pt isn't always right, but you have to pretend like they are
Number 7- No matter what nastiness lies underneath the dressing...don't make a face, no matter how bad you want to.
Number 8- Don't ever just 'wing' it.
Number 9- Don't take everything someone says and go with it..some people don't know any more than you do.
Number 10- Be careful what you say. If you don't know something, don't pretend like you do.

Damn, all those rules make me a bit paranoid and those are just a few little things.
I go back to work tonight and am apprehensive...like I said, until I'm comfortable work will probably seem like the fire pits of Hell. Currently I am a little too warm.

I recommend someone getting a job at a hospital prior to becoming a nurse for the simple reason to know what's going on. Not only am I trying to learn the job of a nurse and all the responsability that goes along with it, but I'm also learning the job of the ward clerk, CNA, shrink & teacher. Nurses wear many hats and you will have to use all of them at some point. I have already. I've already had to call a code too, a code Green that is...SECURITY! Life on the night shift is a crazy one. Lots of sundowning happens and when it's a full moon....forgetaboutit! I have 3 pt's to myself tonight...I'll let you know how it goes...so far I've done so much:
Trach care, suctioning, NG irrigation, IV starts, dressing changes, administering blood products, TURPS...who knew that all those skills I learned I would actually use? Hmm..I guess all the stress wasn't for nothing. It's a lot different when you're doing it on a REAL person because when you're suctioning them...THEY CAN'T BREATHE! The mannequin, AKA Pat, never made a face when I suctioned his trach...what a crappy mannequin he was. Pfft!

On a good note....my son Aidan got apporved for Make-A-Wish and in July we're going to Disney World on his request! To visit the website go to: www.wish.org We're so excited for him and the other boys too. It's an all expense paid trip complete with air-fair, lodging, car rental, VIP Disney passes (meaning we can cut in line-WHOO HOO!), and they give us spending money too. We NEED a vacation soooooooo bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aidan really deserves this and we couldn't be happier for him than we are right now. To make it extra sweet, for Valentines Day my husband bought me my dream camera...a Canon 350 xt digital SLR! I'm so excited I can't even express it. I will be able to take a lot of great photos at Disney and those kinf of moments are priceless to me. I am just now getting back into taking photos and using my creativity. It's been so stifled over the past few years and it feels good to be able to enjoy a hobby for a change. I'm also loving me some Photoshop too!

Finally...I found some time to write a little blog

My poor widdle bitty bwog has been so negwected! Sorry folks for the long lapse. I've been too busy to blog honestly. If anyone out there still cares I just finished taking the Hurst Review for the Nclex. It was a good review in my opinion. She covered every system on the short version, the 'what you need to know for Nclex" version. I am going to pick up the book on Monday and start cracking. I'm so unmotivated lately! I just wish I could say I was an RN already and be done with it, but alas I cannot. I think my lack of motivation comes from the fact that the amount of info I'm going to have to re-cover is heinous, plus I'm just scared shitless. Several ppl in my class have already taken the NCLEX and passed, it almost adds more pressure on those of us who haven't taken it. Oy! It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it so let's move on shall we?

I'm so sad about Heath Ledger. OBVIOUSLY I didn't know him, but he was so young and beautiful and it's such a tragedy. I watched Brokeback Mountain recently, as my little tribute to him, and can I just say it is one of the most beautiful movies I have EVER seen...ever. Jack Twist and Innis Del Mar are some of the most in depth characters I ever had the pleasure to watch on screen. Some people are turned off cause it's obviously about a couple of gay cowboys, but it isn't really about that. It's a love story and it goes through so many emotions. Jake and Heath's performances were AMAZING...I'm just sad he's gone. The end of the movie....UGH...when he buttons the button on Jack
shirt then holds it to him...I cried like a big baby complete with hiccups and everything! His memorial service was beautiful....all of his family and friends, including ex wife Michelle Williams, all ran into the ocean at sunset..fully dressed...and played in the surf in his memory....awww! I think he would have liked that, atleast I know if it were me I would have liked it. :-)
Here's a little video tribute in honor of him:


Starting March 3rd I'm on my own at work and I'm scared. 5 patients all on my own...I don't feel at all ready for it, but I guess the only way to do it is to just jump in with both feet. So far work is going good. Some nights I leave thinking I made a mistake, other nights I'm sure it's where I am suppose to be. Until I'm confident in my abilities I will probably keep walking that line and I think it will be a very looooong time before I get there. I'll keep you updated on how it's going. Also check Aidan's site (see to your left for the link) for updates on him...he's doing really well :-) :-) :-)

Peace and Love,
Christy

Rat Race

OOPS she did it again. Britney's in a psych ward. That girl needs help. Moving on...

I've been working a lot of night shifts and with that I've basically been sleeping my life away. So far everything is going ok. By the time 4am rolls around I start getting really tired and have a hard time concentrating. I don't know what I'm going to do when I start to give report because by 7 am I feel like a zombie.

I'm learning a lot, but not enough to be on my own yet, which will happen in just a few short weeks. How scary is that? Every pt is high acuity meaning they have tubes coming out of places I didn't know possible. I'm not sure this type of nursing is quite my thing. What I am excited about is that I will learn so much. I fear it may take me a good year before I feel like I'm really getting it, hopefully sonner, but we'll see.

All next week I will be taking the Hurst Nclex review course. I will let you know what I think about it. After it's complete and my 120 hours are finished I will sit for my boards. My stomach does flips just thinking about it. I'm so nervous about that stinking test! So far, 4 people in my class have taken it and passed (they took Kaplan), so atleast I know it's doable. No offense to one particular girl, but if she could pass, I know I can.

The Post I've Waited To Write For Over 2 Years

I have waited over 2 years to write this post. I did it. I FINALLY Graduated!!!!!!! My whole blog was about my journey through nursing school and it's now over. It has been the longest, toughest, most stressful and fun two years of my life. I have learned so much. Not just about nursing, but about myself and the icing on the cake is that I came away from this experience with some of the most awesome friends I've ever had.

Graduation day was really emotional for me. When I woke up on Friday I felt sick at my stomach and anxious. I didn't understand why I was so sad and then it dawned on me that I was going to miss my friends so much. We've been through a lot together and no matter how much I've complained about school, it does upset me that it's over...really over. The night was great. There were so mmany people there supporting me that I felt like I barely got a chance to say hello to everyone. Unfortunately, I didn't get many photos. That's what happens when I am not in charge of the camera. lol My husband did manage to get snippets of video of the actual ceremony, but other than that everything was too crazy for photo ops. The video/slideshow was a success and all of our classmates were thrilled about it. None of them had seen it so it was nice to see their reactions. It was a tear jerker for sure, but it had a lot of funny parts too, as you saw.

I'm glad it's over and it's time to move on, but it's definately bittersweet. There are no words to describe how I'm feeling, but I know one thing...I'm proud of myself and of my family for getting me through it. When my boys came up to me and said "I'm proud of you mom." It was the best words I could have ever wanted to hear. I can't thank them enough for putting up with me.

I've posted the video!

Well, here is the video me and my good friend Jill (she has the really blonde hair) made for our pinning on Friday night. No one in the class has seen it so no snitching! lol
Please understand that I had to scale the quality wayyy down to fit it on my blog so it's kind of fuzzy. It will be DVD quality for the ceremony and it's very clear. Sorry about that, but there was no other way. Other than that, tell me what you think.
Peace and Love,
Christy
Memories From the Past

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4 More Days...

My friend Jill and I have been working really hard on making a slideshow/video for our pinning ceremony. It's finally finished and I think it's awesome. It's 13-14 minutes long, which isn't too bad. I think they can sit there through that when we've devoted 2 years of our time, don't you? Somehow I'd like to post it here for you all to watch, but it's such a big file...I don't know how to. Maybe my geeky technology efficient husband will know how. I will definately try. At first we were getting really emotional watching the video and putting it all together...now I'm kind of sick of it. lol Hopefully it still moves me come Friday night. I am envious of those who haven't seen it (rest of the class) because it is emotional, reminessant, nostaligic, funny and all that ooey gooey stuff that makes one cry and feel sad and happy at the same time. ha. I'm really proud of the work we did because compared to others I've seen I think it's very good, not that I'm tooting my own horn or anything.

We had our pinning rehearsal the other day and I admit, I got a little sad. It's deinately a bittersweet moment.... One that we've waited for for soo long. The time has gone by so fast, yet so slow. I remember the first day of class...everyone looked so anxious and scared and excited and scared, including me. It seemed like soo long ago. I am really going to miss my friends I've made at school and I hope that I get to keep in touch with them. 2 of them will be working with me and I'm very happy about that. It's comforting to know that you'll have other newbies along side you on a different journey. Funny enough, I think I'll kind of miss school too. As much as I complained about, I did make some of the best memories there. If you're just starting out...take photos, write in a journal, cherish every moment...the good and the bad. One day, you too will be graduating and feel this same way. It's funny how this whole blog has been devoted to my nursing school experience and come Friday it will all be over. I will continue to write as I start out as a new nurse...sounds strange... and share with you a lot of crazy moments I'm sure I'll have. I update about Aidan on his site regularly too...so check that out. He is doing well by the way. Everything is going great...so far, so good. :-) How do I manage to do all of these things? I guess by pure will....who knew I was so strong?

I have no idea what I'm going to wear Friday and haven't had the time to shop for something yet. I'm such a slacker. I'll definately post and tell you all about how the pinning went. Until then.....
Peace & Love

One More Week

O-M-G I graduate in a week! Can you believe it? I may have to change the name of my blog. Tomorrow is the last class I will ever have as a college student, well unless I go back one day of course. (Shaking my head) A-Hem. Tomorrow we are going to class to talk about precepting and our experiences. Sometimes nursing school feels a lot like the shrinks office. They want us to talk all the time about our "thoughts and feelings." Honestly, I don't care...I just want to be done. I've seen their faces long enough and we've done waaaaay more than our fair share of work this semester. Is that bad of me? Oh well. We also are suppose to practice for our pinning ceremony tomorrow. I don't know what we'll need to do to practice other than walk on the stage, but whatever.

I'm getting so excited!!!!!!!!! I can't wait until I get pinned. I'll have someone tape a video and take photos and post them here as soon as I can. I hope I don't trip and fall. Oy..that would suck so bad. If you knew me, then you'd know I'd be the one to trip of all my classmates. I'm so clumsy, especially when I'm nervous and for some reason I'm a little nervous about next Friday. Me and another couple of friends are making a slideshow video for our pinning ceremony. I hope it turns out well, we haven't started it yet. Oops!

I finished precepting last Friday and have spent the week doing nothing but relaxing and enjoying time with my kids. It's been nice, but I'm afriad it won't last long. I start my hospital orientation on the 17th...right after graduation. :-( I should have put it off a little longer, but it's too late to turn back now. A piece of advice...I know once you finish school you're anxious to get started on your new career, however....give yourself a little break. You've just finished one of the most difficult programs ever and to relax a little is not a sin. I wish I had thought of this earlier. I'd love to start after the New Year instead...ah well.

Hope you all are staying warm....it's cold outside! Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Graduation Here I Come....

I'm finished with precepting forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO, Hell Yeah, Hallelujah, Bless the Lord, Praise Jesus, 'Bout damn time too! But, I'm kinda too tired to care right now because I just worked 12 hours. Hmmpf.

Today was a booger of a day. We did the nurse job and CNA job because she was sick. It was just a mess, but we managed. When you have 2 people doing work for 4 patients, who does what and who charts what gets really confusing. Anyway...it's over and I can now retire my white scrubs and apron "bib" forever. I will however miss the 1000 pockets I had though. :-/ I don't think I ever want to wear white again. EVER! Ugh!

I've waited for this day for so long. Now, I just have one more class and we're finished and get to get pinned! I'm excited and ready to move on from school. School is for the freakin' birds. LOL I definitely had a love-hate relationship with it for sure. I loved it when I was on breaks and I hated it when I wasn't.

Precepting for 120 "real nurse" hours has taught me more than what I learned in school. That's kinda sad. I mean, HELLO, they never even taught us how to use an i-med machine. Kinda makes you feel stupid to go through 3.5 years of nursing school and not even know how to hang a primary bag of fluids. Anyway...I know now and that's all that matters. I have done so much. Yesterday I was with the IV team all day and I stuck about 9 people. I got blood return on most, but blew the vein. I did get one stick though, so it was satisfying. Many of the pt's that they see are hard sticks so I wasn't discouraged. I'm just glad I now have a better idea of how to manipulate the IV and get it in the vein...at all! Ha ha.

Damn, I'm tired and my brain is fried. I'd better end this post and go relax. I'm off for the next two weeks and am going to enjoy it because I start my new job on the 17th. Kinda not ready for all that yet, but I am ready to be free of school. I feel satisfied. Tired, but satisfied.

Cocky Doctors Are Sucky!

My son got sick on Friday with a fever and our stupid ER didn't know how to treat him. I told them they had to call the oncologist at our other hospital before they did anything but the damn egomaniacal DR thought I was giving him orders and did his own thing to spite me. Prick! He waited for 5 hours to call the oncologist and to give Aidan his IV antibiotic. What he doesn't know, because he wouldn't listen to me, is that Aidan has to have an IV antibiotic within 90 minutes if he has a temperature of 100.5 greater because it could have been deadly. So, what happened was that Aidan had to be taken by ambulance to his hospital 2 hours away all because he thought he knew what he was doing, but he essentialy made matters worse. Unbelievable. Do they not think that I know what I am talking about since I go through this every week? I may give the director of the hospital a call. They need to know how to treat oncology pt's because they may cost someone their life. I'm just disgusted. Anyhow...he's fine and is home now. He had an infection of some sort and luckily his hospital knows exactly what to do in those situations. The oncologist asked why I didn't have them call her and I explained that I tried and she said she worried all night as to what happened to Aidan. GRRRRRRRRRR! I hate cocky dr's and if I ever run across him again I will let him know that what he did was stupid and wrong.

Tuesday Aidan gets another spinal tap/lumbar puncture. Let me tell you....my child has been through so much. :-( He is so traumatized by everything, literally. If you try to remove a bandaid he screams bloody murder and gets so worked up he doesn't hear or see anything but fear. I don't know what to do. You can imagine what it's like to access his port. :-/ It makes me want to cry because he is so terrified, but it has to be done. The nurses have the hardest time even flushing his port because he's so scared they're going to hurt him. I try to calm him, but it never works and I sometimes can't even watch him go through it. He tries to bargain by saying things like "wait a minute, I need to tell you something" or he tries to say he has to do something else....anything he can to get out of it. When we try and give him his oral meds he clenches his teeth together and refuses so we usually have to hold him down like a couple of monsters and force it down. Sometimes he throws it back up, but like our nurse said....his mouth is the only thing he can conrol and he wants to prove to us that he has some semblance of control over something. I feel so horrible because all I can do is watch him go through it and hope that one day it will all be over and life will be "normal" again. That's all I want....for my baby to have a normal life.

I finish my precepting this week, thankfully. Friday is my last day. Tomorrow we have class from 8-10 to talk about how Wellness Day went, as if we haven't already beaten that dead horse. (Eye rolling). I think they just want to make sure we're all still alive because we haven't seen them in a couple of weeks. Then after precepting I have class on Dec 7th to talk about our pinning and to turn in a few extra things and I'm all finished! Lord, give me the strength to go on. I want to nursing school to be over for good and I don't want to look back. I'm not sure if I'll ever choose to get my BSN...maybe years later when the memory of how horrible it was wears off.

I'm excited to start my new job and to finally get paid for all of this time spent away from my family. For those of you who are just beginning, try not to let it interfere with your personal lives. It's hard to do because you don't have the time, but you have to make time. My husband and I have really grown apart, but we're trying to pull things back together and when you have 4 kids and one of them is sick, it's hard to focus on eachother. I think after school is over and I have some vacation time we are going to go somewhere for a little while to regroup...ALONE. We love the boys, but parents need time too!

Aidan gets to Make-A-Wish and he wants to go to Disney. Hopefully, this summer he will get his wish. He deserves that and more and my guilt level for being away from him so much is unbearable. Moms deserve metals because they're whole beings are wrapped up in their children and often times they forget themselves. So if you're a mom give yourslf a HUGE pat on the back, because having a sick child or no sick child it's the hardest job in the entire world!

Because I have been so busy my husband has had to take a lot of time away from work, therefore money has been very tight and that never feels good. Cancer or no, those people want their money and that's that. I'm trying to reconcile in my head that these people are just doing their jobs, but you can't help but have a part of you that feels they're all soulless blood-sucking vampire leeches who could care less for mankind. Sigh. All of this because I'm trying to finish school and have MORE money. Sigh. It's a lose-lose my friends.

I'm not throwing a pity party becaus it is what it is, but there comes a point where you look to God and ask- WHY?

Onto the positives:
Precepting ends Friday
Last day of school is the 7th
Pinning is the 14th
New job orientation starts the 17th
I'm free the week of Christmas
My son is home and is OK
My other boys all made the honor roll this term (They're amazing!)
We were able to get our holiday decorations up despite the madness
Santa is visiting us soon
Soon we will have more money
We have a roof over our heads
Good food on our table
We're all together

End of rant!
Have a nice week folks.

always smile and the whole world will smile at you

So yesterday I precepted and worked for 12 hours. I got there at 7am and didn't get a smoke break until 5pm. We were slammed, but no smoke break for 10 hours? That's some crazy shiz right there. I have to precept this Wednesday, Friday and next MWF and I'll be finished....and damn glad too! I need a break! Nursing school expects too much of their students. If we had done this precepting all the way through school then we would have learned a heck of a lot more than waiting until the end.

Those people who work in the hospital setting already have an advantage. For one, they know the ins and outs of everyday things, such as contacting the lab, knowing what to look for with certain patients, charting, etc... However, those of us who are just now getting our feet wet do not know the "little" things and shouldn't be looked down upon because we don't. Some people are patronizing and it gets my goat. I hope if I'm ever in the position to direct someone in the right direction I do not come across as a know it all, or act preturbed because they don't know. How else are they suppose to learn? Nursing school doesn't teach the hum drum things about the job, but only about the patients. I think they need to incorporate these things in our learning experience so we can be spared any feelings of incompetence when we are learning on the job. Just my opinion. My preceptor is really good with the positive feedback. She is tolerant and patient with my newness. LOL However, there are always others out there who don't have the capacity to be patient and those people make me crazy. Weren't they new at some point too? Grrr. Surely they weren't perfect, no one is perfect.

It seems like this journey will never end. I still have a "paper" due on Dec 7th and I haven't started. Haven't we already payed our dues? I mean we are working for free right before the holidays...I think that is enough and we should just be able to graduate already. This semester has made us do more busy work than any other, yet we've been the busiest we've ever been aside from all the extra stuff. This needs to be reevaluated. Stop giving us so many stupid papers and extra assignments to do and let us focus on nursing. UGH!

They train you for 2 + years for a specific career, yet when you enter into the field you feel like an idiot. I think as far as pt care, assessment, med administration and my skills go I have done fantastic, it's just the little stuff, as I said. Knowing what kind of progress note to write, knowing what paperwork goes where etc... That's the stupid stuff and the "easier" stuff, but it takes some time to really get it down pat. I'll get there and I am learning a lot, but I'll be glad when I'm on my own, learning my own way of doing things and feeling more confident in why I'm doing the things I'm doing.

Hope you all have a wonderful day, and OH..don't let others get you down. Some people like making others feel stupid. Just smile, always smile. Stupidity is not lack of knowledge, but knowing better and doing it anyway.

She Works Hard For The Money

How do you spell gorgeous? P-A-T-R-I-C-K!




Well, I finally accepted the job that I wanted. It's a general surgery floor, basically anything but heart & lung surgeries and we get a lot of medical too such as pneumonias, diabetics etc. I'm super excited, but scared as all get out. It's a heavy floor with lots to learn, I just hope I can catch on fairly quickly. My official start date is December 17th, but she said she wouldn't make me work the week of Christmas...I'm not arguing with her. lol My new manager seems super nice and we laugh a lot together, which means she gets my twisted sense of humor. I love her already. I'll tell you what my starting pay is because I don't care if people know and I'm not pretentious like that. It starts at $18.65 an hour with 10% differential between 7p-11p and 12% between 11p and 7a. So basically, if I get technical about it, I'm making $20.51 from 7p-11p and $20.88 from 11p-7a. Which means I'm making roughly $250 per shift (before tax of course). Not too shabby. It beats working for free = precepting UGH! I'm not going to complain one bit about the money. I think it's a fair considering I'm so green between the ears. So, now you know what I'm worth. LOL. Between my husband and I we should do fairly well, so I'm excited about that too. I haven't worked in apporximately 5 years so, unless you count school as a "job" and I do because nursing school was the hardest, most demanding job I've ever had! (Notice I used past tense-He Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

I'm still precepting and was actually supposed to work today but I have a major case of GI distress. A-Hem! I don't know why I got this, but I have it and it would be very uncomfortable to be working right now. My husband was sort of sick all week and I think he passed his increased peristalsis onto me. Thanks doll.

Moving along...this week we had our community Wellness Day. It's basically a day that the seniors put together for the whole school and community where we have information about everything under the sun and we give free glucose checks, vitals, flu shots, cholesterol screening etc. We also supply refreshments, have giveaways and lots of other fun stuff too. It was nice, but I'm glad it's over, it was so much work putting it together and getting the other clases on board...yuck. Here are a few photos from the day and of some of the booths that were made:


Ha!







The ending note of this post...is school ever really going to end?

My Tips and Tricks for Nursing School

Oh my gosh, I don't have to study for exams anymore. Yes, I know I've said this before and I will probably keep saying it until I believe it. It's so awesome not having a test to prepare for. Ahhhhhh, sweet freedom.

Today was my precepting orientation. It went well and I can't wait until I get to handle some patients on Wednesday. (See the previous post for other updates). The floor I am working on is a women's unit which deals mostly with hysterectomy's and general gynie issues. It's a small unit, so it's a very good floor for learning. I like my preceptor..she's very patient and loves to teach. Hopefully I get as lucky when I start on my real floor.

I decided to compile a list of tips and tricks for new nursing students. I get a lot of questions about what to do and what not to do, so I'll post some here.

Inform your family that you'll need their support. Nursing school is like no other program. You will be busy, no matter how organized you are or how well you plan. There will always be something to do so getting some extra help will be a life saver.

NEVER get behind! Remember that old saying...don't put off tomorrow what can be done today? Live by this code. Stay on top of everything or you will get behind and catching up is hard to do!

Find a note taking style and stick with it. It took me almost a year to get a good note taking style down pat. I found that if you follow the same pattern it helps your learning and helps you remember come test day.

Buy a digital recorder. Instructors talk fast. They have a hellacious amount of info to teach you and really don't care if you're keeping up or not. If you have a backup (recorder) write down the time on the recorder of the info you missed and return to it later for clarification.

Understand the theory, patho and concepts. Don't memorize info unless it's required, Ex: immunizaition schedules etc... If you UNDERSTAND the material then you'll be able to answer most any test question about the topic. Example: Diabetes: know that the insulin is what drives the glucose into the cell and without it, your blood sugar will be high. When your blood sugar is high you become thirsty. One of the S&S of diabetes is thirst. If you have a test question on this topic you can think of the patho and answer accordingly. It also wouldn't hurt to learn mnemonics for certain disorders. One I clearly remember for diabetes is the 3 P's: Polydipsia, Polyphagia and Polyuria.

Make friends! Your classmates will become your family. You will see them sometimes more than your family and they will be the only ones truly understanding what you're going though. Besides, when you're sitting at home banging your head against the wall trying to understand Increased Intercranial Pressure, it never hurts to call a classmate and ask for some clarity.

Organize your time. This has to be one of the biggest issues. I always planned time for study and time for home and you have to stick to it! If you're on your "home" time, leave thoughts of school alone and save it for your "school" time.

Buy a backpack with wheels. Yea, it may look stupid and nerdy, so what! It will save your back. 300 lbs is no fun to carry around. Don't worry about standing out, most every nursing student has these bookbags. :-)~

Don't beat yourself up! I went into the program with a 4.0 and am leaving with a 3.4, and guess what? It's ok with me! Only do your best. If you fail a test... don't be too hard on yourself, just do better next time. If you fail a skill...practice, practice, practice until you are confident enough to retake it. Don't freak out...take your time. There isn't a time limit on the majority of the skills. Everyone has had days where they have felt like they sucked...it's ok, but don't dwell because you don't have time to. lol

Turn off your cell phone. Instructors hate cell phones and some will make you leave class...as juvenille as it sounds, they do. We had one girl whose phone went off during every test and it really is disruptive. Just leave it off during class.

Take pictures and journal your experiences. This is something I am glad I did. Whether you write in a diary, or in a blog, you will love having this for later. Nursing school is an experience and sometimes it's best to vent to someone. My someone is my blog. Plus, it's always fun to refer back to a year ago and read what I was going through at the time. I recommend this to everyone.

Keep all of your notes. Don't forget...at the end of this journey there is a much bigger, more important exam called the NCLEX. You will want to have your notes for reference, even if you do buy a gazillion NCLEX prep books. (grin)

Get some sleep and eat right. I wish I had followed this advice. Vending machine food DOES NOT keep your body fueled. I repeat...STAY AWAY FROM THE VENDING MACHINE!Go to bed early....you'll regret it in the morning if you don't.

Don't miss class. In one day you could cover a variety of topics. Other's notes are nice, but if you don't hear the subject yourself, it can be harder to understand. Also..don't be late...instructors hate that and many will not let you in and will give you a 0 for the test or quiz if you're late.

Be prepared for clinical. There is no worse feeling than when your instructor asks you what a drug is for and you have no clue. Double check everything before you enter a patient's room. Drug errors are scary...cover your ass!

Know your ABC's. No, I'm not talking about the alphabet. The ABC's are: Airway, Breathing and Circulation. Airway is alywas your first check...if their airway isn't patent, more than likely they aren't breathing, now are they? Know that is it the FIRST assessment....exceptions... if your test question is about blood circulation, more than likley the answer will also be about circulation too.

Understand test questions. Nursing questions are different from any other test questions. Sometimes it will make you want to pull out your hair. Many times you will have more than one right answer, but you need to know the one that is the MOST right. Ex: A pt enters the emergency room complaining of chest pain and he states his left arm is numb and tingling. The most important thing the nurse should do first is:
a) Assess the patients arm
b) Start an EKG
c) Assess the patient's pain level and administer Morphine
d) call the doctor

All of these are the right answers, but B is the correct answer because before you do the other things, the EKG takes priority. Also notice in the question it asks what the MOST important thing that the nurse will do. Assessing the pt's pain is a nursing action, but it's always one of the last things a nurse will do. It's considered psychosocial and his physical needs outweigh the pain at the moment. (Understand Maslow's heiarchy of needs and you can answer these correctly). Call the doctor is rarely the right answer because the nurse can always do some kind of pt care before the doctor has to be called. Think about it..if a pt is having a seizure before you call the DR (which some might want to do-inlcuding me-HA!) you want to make sure they aren't going to hurt themselves or choke on their tongue. There is always something the nurse can do...according to the textbook anyway.

Understand the test questions: Part deux! Look for keywords in the stem of the question such as: All, Never, Can't, Always etc... rarely does something NEVER or ALWAYS happen. Anything is possible. Avoid answering questions with these words in them. Another lesson I learned the hard way was answers that had part of the right answer in them. Example...the pt has increased intercranial pressure. The nurse should: Raise the HOB and administer a vasopressive. Well,...yes you will raise the HOB, but you won't admin that med...just use your common sense and don't fall into this trap. They say they aren't our to trick you, they lie. Opposites....if you see opposites in the answer bank, generally one of them is the answer. Ex: answer: use cold compresses Answer 2: use a hot pack. It's is usually one or the other.

Help your classmates. If you are at clinical and you aren't that busy and you see your friend buried up to her elbows in work, lend a hand. They won't forget this. Teamwork really is the best way to work. You scratch my back....

Make clinical cheatsheets. Make a document in Word, or whatever, for your pt's meds. Put times (military) on one side and meds on the other and make boxes. This way at clinical you can keep up with your pt's meds and when they're due incase the "real nurse" (haha) has the MAR (medication administration record), which often times they do and you have to pry it from their cold, clingy, more expereinced hands.
Make a physical assessment cheat sheet. You aren't going to be able to do a top notch assessment for a long time. I am still weak in that area, but what you can do is save yourself time and face by making a cheatsheet about things you need to assess. Go from head to toe. I can't tell you how many times I went to chart and totally forgot when the last time the patient voided was....didn't I feel stupid?! Find out when the floor does routine vitals, baths, I&O's etc... You shouldn't have to be told these things twice.

If you don't know the answer, ASK! Ask as many questions as you need to, it's better than fudging and finding out the answer later.

De-stress. Don't let yourself get so overwhelmed that you need a straight jacket. Ask for help, you can't do it all. Find ways to let off steam...running, walking, a hot bath, a bloody mary. Ha! Hey, if it works...

Don't worry about your household chores. Unfrotunately, the housework takes the least priority during school. Remember, you aren't in "regular" college classes. When you get home, the majority of your time will be spent working on things for class. Let some things go...if you don't, you will be too wound up to function. I learned this the hard way too. As long as you have food to eat, clean clothes (sometimes-ha), then you are doing ok. ASK FOR HELP!

Remind your family and friends how much you love them. It's easy to get caught up in school so much that everyone else gets tuned out. Make time for them, even if it means sacrificing for school. Keep in touch with your non nursey friends. They love you too and will feel like you're brushing them off. Remind them of your time constraints and plan a day together when you can.

Take care of yourself. This is the most important tip. As stupid as this will sound...sometimes you barely have time to bathe...make time. Get a mani and pedi too! Don't forget about your health, because without it you will have nothing.

Have fun! As stressful as nursing school can be, don't forget to enjoy it. There WILL be days when you don't think you can go on another moment. You will and it will be worth it...I hope. You will be learning so much that your head will spin, but in the midst of it all there is a lot of fun involved. Make sure to take things in stride as much as possible and don't join in on the gossip.

Hope these help. I've been saving these up for a while.
Have a nice weekend, I'm spending it with my family and I can't wait!

Updates!

So, yesterday was my final and today was my last day of clinical. It's all so surreal. I'll be glad when this sets in and I actually believe it. So far it's hard to believe because I'm still so busy with school related stuff. Today at clinical I had to present my last bib cards. I'm so glad I don't have to do those anymore! I have a paper that is due on Monday and the 13th and 14th we have to do a community project that our class had to organize and run for the whole school. If it weren't for all of the "extra" crap it wouldn't be so busy.

We got our photos the other day. I never thought I would live to see the day that I'm wearing that hat. They have every nurse that graduated on the wall of the school and it dates back to the 50's. It's cool to know I'm among them. It's a very hard earned program and I'm proud I've made it through. Especially with all that has gone on in my family. Notice in the group photo above I (far right) and the girl next to me look like we were photoshopped in the picture. When they took this there was construction going on behind us and I thik I had a big crane sticking out of my head. LOL Anyway...if you look closely, you'll see that our hair, especially mine, are the only ones that look "wind blown". Too funny!

Tomorrow I start precepting, which is basically a "clinical", except our teachers aren't there. I'm so tired I'm actually dreading going tomorrow. Ugh. We filled out our applications for our NCLEX the other day and it seemed like things really started getting scary. I can't believe how close I am to becoming an RN. After these 120 hours of precepting (which ends in Nov), we are finished with everything until graduation. THEN...we get a job and do 120 hours as a registered nurse applicant. Once we complete those hours we can sit for our boards. So it will be late January, early February before I can take the exam.

I have 3 job interviews on Monday and I'm nervous. They are back to back...how scary is that! There is one I really hope I get, so keep yor fingers crossed for me!

Aidan is doing great. I haven't posted in forever, but have tried to update on his website. He is mostly on oral meds right now and is getting a little respite from the clinic for a few weeks. Like I said before, he's cancer free and the chemo is to keep it from coming back. I'm so sad right now because even though I am close to graduation, it doesn't mean anything if I can't see my family. I miss them...I feel like all I do is school-clinical. Sigh. I just want to be home with him and enjoy our time together....it depresses me. I hope once I start working as a real nurse I will have more free time because this is crap and isn't worth me not getting to spend time with my kids. Anyway.... I told my husband I may just stay home with Aidan and he laughed and told me I'd better get a job after all of this stress. I guess I can't blame him. Ha ha.

Have a nice weekend!

Hallelujah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was the hardest final exam I've ever had, but I passed it. There were 100 questions and I missed 19 and got an 81%. I could have missed 40 and still passed the class, so I'm cool with my 81. I wish I could say I celebrated, but I haven't had time. As soon as I got home I had to write 2 bib cards for my LAST clinical, which is today, then I had to take the kids trick-or-treating. I can't believe I am finished with school. I feel such a relief, but it hasn't really sunk in yet.

Tomorrow I start precepting already...no breaks here. I'll be finished with that at the end of November, then I'm home free. The most important thing is I have no class....ever again. O-M-G! I'm speechless.

I'll write me later.
Ta-ta!