Finding Ways to Procrastinate...It's Easy

Ok, so I've tried the do-it-yourself html stuff and as you can see I haven't really got the hang of it, but atleast I learned a few things eh? (I have to admit, it's kind of addicting and this has came about at a really bad time...) There are some glitches, I believe the smiley nurse flashes as if any minute she'll be transported back to her homeland, but I haven't figured out how to fix it. Let me know if it looks like this when you view it too. If nothing or something really strange is showing up on your browser, please let me know that as well. For cool tips and tricks on how to personalize your own blog go here: http://tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com/2007/02/change-blogger-header-background-color.html

But please don't click there if you have a final exam in 2 days like I do...it's a bad, bad site! I repeat...enter at your own risk!

Trickery and Tomfoolery

As far as the templates, I've just been playing around, so if you log on and it's different everytime, that's why. :-) What was with Grey's Anatomy lastnight? They tricked us into watching Addison's pilot...that's just plain mean. I thought we'd get to see a great 2 hour Grey's episode. No. What we got was some snippets of Grey's in between Addison and all these new characters in LA shoved down our throats. On top of that, I didn't even like the pilot. Did you? All of the sudden Addison wants a baby? Hmm.... alrighty. Didn't see that coming. What I don't understand is why she's doing a spin-off in the first place. Why change something that isn't broken? Anyway, I was dissapointed lastnight. Grey's is starting to become confusing. And all of the supposed to be OMG moments don't shock me anymore because they're always trying to throw OMG moments in the show. It just doesn't feel the same. I read that Dr Burke is being written off the show. Wonder why..........ha ha.

Here is where I'm confused.....why is Derek all of the sudden not wanting to "breathe" for Merideth. Didn't he propose to be her knight and shining whatever just a couple weeks ago? Didn't he almost break down because he thought she was dead? Now he's saying he's not so sure about their relationship? HUH??? You don't dump a girl right after she comes back from the dead, don't these writers know that? And why hasn't Merideth told Izzy about seeing Denny on the other side? Does she not remember? Moving on..Merideth's step mom: She got the hiccups, had an endoscopy, got sepsis and died. Dead...all because of some hiccups. That sucks. Then we see Merideth playing cards and doing shots of tequila like it's no big deal her dad slaped her across the face and her step-mom died. Derek comes over to console her (I think) sees her smiling and laughing in the window and realizes (I think) that this chick is detatched from her emotions and might never change. This confuses me. Merideth needs to see a "quack" and get over herself. Did you notice on next week's preview that Derek meets a girl at a bar? Here we go again....

Burke and Cristina: It's obvious Cristina doesn't want this big wedding and Burke does. He realizes they are very different , but tries to convince himself otherwise. That old skeezy doc was right....she's not the marrying kind. This wedding isn't going to happen and we all know it. I bet it's Burke who leaves her at the alter and we never see him again. End of Burke.

Addison, McSteamy and Alex: What's going on with Alex, does he or does he not love Addison? Does he love the no-memory girl? Well, that's what I thought the writer's were trying to clue us in to, now I'm not so sure. By the way writers, fix that girls damn teeth already! Eew. Did you see the preview for next week about her? Does she really remember ans is faking it? During her brain surgery she starts speaking about 5 different languages... odd. Maybe she's a spy. lol Maybe, that's why she "claims" not to remember...she's investigating something at the hospital. This could happen you know, this show gets crazier every time. She did say she knows everything that's going on. Hmm...I'm sure it's farfetched, but you never know. McSteamy seemed really sad over losing Addison....ok whatever. I did love the part where he told Derek he caught her sleeping with someone else and Derek said "oh, that must have been very hard for you." insert snicker here. HA! Karma's a bitch eh?

Izzy, George and Callie: It's obvious George is rethinking his decision to marry Callie. He said it seemed like a good idea....at the time. Poor George, he's in a pickle. I don't know how it happened (well I know) but I didn't see it coming that Izzy would fall for George. Something about this relationship just doesn't seem right, but it makes for good tv nonetheless. Thew whole elevator scene was heartbreaking. Do you really think George is going to transfer? If he leaves the show I'm not sure I'll keep watching. He's my favorite character. Callie knows what's going on. Women know, they have a 6th sense and her seeing them once that elevator opened....they looked so guilty. I have a feeling Callie will save George the trouble and let him go. She knows she can't compete with Izzy and it's obvious he loves her. It isn't obvious he loves Callie, and that was known from the get-go. The scene in the bridal shop where Callie asked Izzy to go in another room with her was funny. 'You want me to go with you...alone? Ok." Izzy was scared. Ha ha.

Well, I guess we'll see, or maybe not, how all this will play out in the next couple of weeks. Right now I don't know what's going to happen. Everything is up in the air. I hope they can get it together and bring our show back. This just feels like some daytime soap.
Until next time....
p.s. haven't started studying for the final yet...... ru-roh!

The blog will be updated soon, I haven't had time to work on it. I want to change it because I was tired of the old template. So, that's why it looks so crappy right now.

Well, I had a minute to update so I thought I'd take the opportunity. This week has been so hectic. Monday I had my micro lecture test and I got an 80% (Which is a B becuse it isn't a nursing course yee haw!)....I didn't care, I just studied enough to pass. Ha! Tuesday I studied with a friend from 9am-7pm for our second psych nursing test and Wednesday I took that and got a 91%. WOOT! Today at 10am I took my micro lab test and I'm not sure yet how I did, I think I did ok. I am so sleep deprived it's not even funny. I've been going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5am to study. Sigh..... So tonight my goal is to get everything ready for my nursing final, which is Monday (EEK!) and studying for that all weekend. Wednesday is my micro final and then.........................FINISHED!!! Thank you for the well wishes I've gotten, I hope you all are getting through it as well. We've gotta stick together and keep encouraging eachother to make it. I figured up my grade for nursing and as of right now I have a 91% average. I'm sure I'll end up with a B and that is totally fine with me, but I don't want to go from a B to a C because I did poorly on the final, so I'm going to do my best to pass. There are 100 questions on the final exam and I can miss 69 and still pass the class. I love that. lol BUT, I hope I don't miss that many.

Some sad news, my friend Tonya and my other friend/classmate Stuart had to withdraw yesterday along with another girl. They had no choice, they knew that even if they got a 100% on the final they still wouldn't pass the class. I felt sick the second I heard. I would hate to re-do 3rd semester again. Ugh, Ugh, Ugh! To get all the way to the end and find out you aren't going to pass.... Tonya worked so hard, I guess it just wasn't her semester. We have lost so many along the way, our class is slowly dwindling. They said that they weeded out a lot in 3rd semester, I guess they were right. But as I said in a previous post, they're not pullin' my weeds, and they didn't. :-)

So far I don't know much about 4th semester except it's extremely hectic. I do know that OB and peds, so I'm excited. We've completly completed Med-Surg! WOO hOO ! I was told by a 4th semester student that in the first 2 weeks of class we have 13 skills, but they're not bad. 13! I don't know about you, but that sounds kinda bad to me. I also know that the first half of the semester we complete 120 hours of OB/Peds clinicals and the second half we get to choose our own preceptor/nurse (if we know one) and we work under them all day and they evaluate us....this is also 120 hours. One of my best school friend's mother-in-law (make sense?) said she'd precept me so I'm excited. She works on the Women's unit and I've done a clinical there before so I feel comfortable there. It's a small 14 bed unit, so it's a good unit to learn under a nurse on. Other than that, that's all I know. Oh, they told us to come with skates on...I'm assuming we'll be pretty busy.

Well, I'm going to try and work on this blog since I have a little extra time right now. Hope everyone is doing well in school and is taking care of themselves.
Until next time...

Batman vs' Superman

First of all, I'm re-doing my blog because I was bored with the old one. So, please be patient as it's under a lot of contruction. LOL

I have really been slacking on my posts huh? Sorry about that, not that I expect anyone to really care, but incase someone, anyone out there in Siberia does ..... forgive me. One reason is that I've been mega busy. Ball games almost everynight and studying in top of that. The second reason is that I can't log onto my blog because I don't have the new google account. Before I'd always logged in with my old blogger account and it's saying it is'nt recognizing it and it's really pising my off to tell ya the truth. lol I can't really say how I got on here today to post this. Somehow I went and changed a password because I thought that I forgot mine or something (NOT) and when I did it automatically directed me here. I tried logging off and logging back in under the new password and same thing again. SO I changed again so I could sneak in and post something. I don't know what I've done at this point. I have so many accounts and passwords I'm lost. Ha! So I'm going to try and get my husband to fix this and figure out what my account is so I can log in without having to change my password everytime. Ok, now that you're tired of listening to me rant about this, here's the latest:

I know it says on my blog that I only have 2 days left of school, but technically I still have a week and a half. Today was actually my last nursing lecture. WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO! On Monday I have a lecture test in Micro, Wednesday I have my second psych test in nursing and Thursday I have my last lab test in micro. Pretty busy week huh? The next week...Monday the 7th is my nursing final and Wednesday the 9th is my micro final. THEN I'll be "officialy" complete with 3rd semester....hopefully. I have probably said all of this before, but I have short term memory loss related to studying for 5 tests at once AND I'm too lazy to go back and read what I've written previously. He he.

Two nights ago as I was reading a case study on rabies I saw something strange out of the corner of my eye. "What was that?" I thought. "Probably just my eyes playing tricks on me." I replied to myself. Then I saw it again, this time it was much more up close and personal. Actually it was flying at my head and then I realized that it wasn't the floaters in my eyes that make me crazy, but a BAT! EEEEK! I screamed like the skeerdy kat I am and took off running, but low and behold someone else runs ahead of me. They must be chasing the bat. Thank goodness! Wait, that was my husband. Why is he runnin away from the bat? Shouldn't he be running toward the bat trying to shoo it out the door or swat at it like all those manly men do? Why is he running in the room and shutting the door? This is strange. Then it hits me...he's more scared than me. Practically shoving me out of the way to save hiself. PFFFT! What if we were on a plane and it's going down, is he going to take the oxygen mask for himself too? Geez! This is a load of crap. More stunned from the lack of chivalry than from the bat floating around my head, I knock on the door. "Are you going to hide in there or come out and help me get this bat out of the house?" So he steps out and is ducking and doing some odd tribal dance and using me as his shield. Ok, first of all, I love my husband and he'd kill me if he knew I was telling anyone this (LMAO) but come on!!!! Don't leave me out here by myself man...Let my ass in there too! SO after much coaxing and having the "I'm freaking out too" talk I convince him we must do something because I was just reading that these nasty, evil mice with wings have rabies!! So to make a long story short in our ranting we lost the bat. We searched the house on tip toe looking for the thing. I'm standing in my sons room talking and I look up and there it is, above my head , HANGING ASLEEP on the molding above their door! EEEK EEEEK EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! I've never been this close to a bat, they're hairy and scary and eew. We tried shooing it out the door...didn't work, we tried running around like our hair was on fire, that didnt work either so we came up with a plan that my dh was going to whack it really hard with a broom. It took him 15 good solid minutes to get the courage to hit it and once he did...it didn't even move. It starting making this clicking, hissing, screeching, God awful sounds. Then he hit it again and finally it fell to the floor, but was still making those nosies I will never forget. I thought it was hurt and tried to get it with a broom to scoop in a bag, as I got close to it, turned it's ugly head, bared it's teeth and starting chomping and making this screechy garbage disposale sound. UGH! Shudder! It flapped out it's wings ready to fight and I ran again like a big ole chicken. LOL We finally called the park ranger (across the street) and he came and got it with a sheet. He said he's done this before....obviously we haven't. I'm sure he thought we were a couple of idiots, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to contract rabies, or worse...turn into a vampire.;-) That would suck. SO....that was an interesing night. I guess it came in through the fireplace. Note to self...seal the damn thang! I took some pics and will post them as soon as I upload them from my camera...that's if I can find away to log in. Ha!

Sigh....so here we are at the end. It's finally that time and I'm really happy. I just need to get through these tests. It is going to feel good to be a free woman. I get to clean my house and cook and read and swim and go on a vacation. I deserve it, that may sound arrogant, but I do. I am just ready to be mommy for a while and devote all of my attention to my 4 awesome boys. They are all doing so well in school and sports and I am so proud. Despite the joking earlier, my husband has really stepped up to the plate...literally. He's coaching the twins baseball team, attending all of our oldest son's ball games (who is now 13...Lord help us all), picking them up and taking them everywhere everyday, cooking, cleaning, keeping everything together as best as he can all while working a full time job. Forget Batman, he's Superman in my eyes. I'm a lucky gal I guess. :-) He puts up with a lot and I know he's just as ready for summer break as I am so he can get back to being "normal" too.

We had to take another ATI test today. For those of you who aren't familiar they are competency type tests about nursing subjects and it's suppose to be similar to the NCLEX. It's to see how well prepared we are and where are weaknesses are and what we need to work on. We don't get graded on them, but have to take them over every subject we cover each semester. Anyway, as I was sitting there I was thinking what I will feel like on the day of the actual NCLEX exam. I am going to be a nervous wreck I'm sure. The NCLEX is a computer test (state nursing boards- what gives you that RN behind your name) that gives you questions and the more you get right the harder they get and if you get one wrong the difficulty level decreases etc...you get the drift. The test can shut off at 75 questions and you can pass or fail or it could shut off at 265 questions and you could pass or fail. There is no rhyme or reason and all you can do is wait....wait with your stomach in knots to find out if you passed. In the olden (He he) days they had to wait weeks to months to get their scores. Now you can find out online in just a few days. Those will be the longest days of my life....next to awaiting my acceptance letter. Speaking of that day, I remember it very well. I waited and waited for months to find out one way or another. (You all know the feeling) I imaged what I would feel if I got rejected and vice versa. I played it in my head many times. I was at home by myself that day and I checked the mail and there it was....the letter. I was so scared to open it, but I practically ripped it open and almost ripped the letter too. The first few words read...Congratulations! You have been selected....and I didn't read the rest until later. My first reaction was WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Then I immediately felt kinda scared, like....what did I do? Oh no! I was shocked by this feeling. It was certainly unexpected. I felt like I'd just stepped in a huge pile of dung that wouldn't come off of my shoe. I was anxiously awaiting this for so long and the awaited emotions were sideline by a feeling of doom. I was just unsure and scared at that time. I don't guess I thought past the letter part. LOL I always say...if I knew then what I know now... It has been the best experience I've ever had outside of my family obviously, but it's been a long hard road to walk down so I'm not sure if I would go forward knowing how difficult it really is. Nurses and nursing students are so underrated. The average public doesn't realize the amount of education and hard work is put into becoming a nurse. I've learned a lot of people assume we go to a trade school and come away with a certificate or something. They have no idea. You see all of these shows on tv about doctors and laywers and what they need to do is have a show about nursing school and nurses. I guarantee, if it's based on reality, it would be a hit. All the craziness. I'm surprised this hasn't been done before. I have some really intelligent students in my class and they struggle too, it's a very challenging career, but I really believe I did the right thing and I'm excited for my future and what being a nurse will bring. I know it won't be fun all the time. I'm not jaded. I know the horrors and the labor of this career. I know that some of the people you work with will stab you in the back quicker than that bat flew at my head, but as long as I'm doing what I love, none of that will matter. Hopefully I can pick a specialty and love it. I'm still undecided on that area. One day, hopefully soon, I will set my sights on a certain area and give it my best shot. Well, if I want to be a nurse I suppose I must study for it huh? I'll try to post again soon.
Peace out.........

Tests, Tests and More Tests

The next couple of weeks are going to be very hectic. I have 6 tests in the next week and a half so my posts will be sparse indeed. I will probably be very stressed as I usually am when a test is coming up. Ugh. This time of the semester is always so crazy. I have a very small A in nursing now. And I mean small. An A is a 91% and I have a 91.7 I believe. I'm fairly certain I will not walk away this semester with an A, so I'm hoping for a B atleast. In Micro, I'm not so sure. I'm hoping for atleast a B so my GPA doesn't go down too much. As of right now my GPA is 3.7 something, not too bad I guess. Well, I'd love to catch up with you all, but I must be going. I'll write back as soon as possible and update you on how my tests are going. Good luck to everyone during finals week!
Until next time....

Horror

I'm feeling really sad today thinking about the shootings at Virginia Tech. I just read on MSNBC that in between the first two shootings at the dorms he sent NBC a package full of ramblings, videos and really disturning photos of him with guns, a hammer and a knife. It gave me the chills to see it. Click here to watch the video and see the photos: http://video.msn.com/v/us/v.htm?g=925BC281-CE20-439E-9682-8CC58066B2BF&t=c3557&f=06/64&p=hotvideo_m_vatech&fg=>1=9246

What is wrong with people? Do they feel that isolated to want to shoot up whole classrooms of people? It appears he definately had some psychiatric problems. Psycho is what comes to my mind. One of the teachers even turned him in saying she was worried about his mental health and the safety of the students based on some disturbing material he had written in English class. Apparently he was evaluated, but noting was really done about it. I also read that he didn't only shoot these people once, but atleast 3 times each, which means he made a concious choice to shoot again and again and again. Ugh, this just makes me sick. I just pray for the victims and their families that they can make some sense of this and find peace someday. This is a horrible, horrible tragedy and the focus needs to be on the victims and their lives rather than a psychotic killer who orchestrated this terrible crime. I don't have the words to say anything else, I don't think there are any words, it's just a nightmare.

Moving on...Speaking of psych patients, yesterday was my last clinial at the psych facility and of 3rd semester...woo hoo. There were some patients who were afraid the shooter was going to come harm them...paranoia. In all reality though, this does make me terrified for my own kids in school. You just never know.... but I refuse to think of that.
I only have 4 micro classes left and 5 nursing classes left. Oh my goodness. In that time I have one more psych test and my final and in micro I have about 4 tests left, how is this possible? lol Anyway, it will be done and in about 2 weeks I will be finished and ready for summer. I'm excited to have my 14 week break and then I go back and have only 14 weeks of school and I'm finished for good. I can't imagine that yet, but I know it's coming. I'll write more later, but right now I just feel too depressed to be excited.

This is HI-Larious!

Check out Will Ferrell in this short film. It's sooo wrong on so many levels, but so funny just the same.


Also, what is wrong with Carson Daly? I know he lost weight and everything, but the guy looks like he's on crack or something. Hmm...

Psych Test I, New Photos and the Critical Care Challenge

Miranda, Chris and I at the Critical Care Challenge Tonight

What a week. There is so much to catch up on. First of all I had my micro test yesterday and I don't know how I did yet but I think I atleast passed with a 70% which is all I need. LOL I'll let ya know. I had my first psych test today. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Here is an actual example of one of the questions which wasn't a hard one, but a -why am I even being tested on this stupid shit?- kind of question. Ok here goes....

Jane has severe depression and hasn't taken care of her appearance in weeks. She has been wearing dirty clothes and her hair has been disheveled and unkepmt. A few days ago Jane started her new antidepressant medication and when she came to group therapy today she was wearing a clean dress and her hair was combed. What's the nurses best response to the situation?
A) "Look everyone, Jane is wearing a clean dress and she combed her hair today!"
B) "Jane, I can't believe you combed your hair and are wearing a clean dress, that's great!"
C) "Jane, I see you're wearing a clean dress and combed your hair today."
D) "Jane, you look wonderful!"

Ok...so yes this question isn't hard "persay" BUT my first choice was D, then I thought, I dunno about that one either. I swear I stared at this dumb arse question for 5 minutes. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew A was wrong because that's kind of rude. I knew B wasn't right because that's well, rude too. SO D started lookin' pretty good then I thought, well if you say to someone you look wonderful and they are depressesed they might think you didn't think they looked wonderful on the other days so I ended up choosing C because it validates her "non-verbal" behavior and leaves room for her to respond. I was right but these silly questions make me mad I tell ya.

SO I cannot believe it.....for studying for only one day I got a 93% on the test. That's an A fols. My third A on a nursing test this semester! How is this possible? This is the hardest semester of my LIFE! The Gods must be with me. I don't know how I'm pulling this off. There are a few that failed the test and I thought for sure that I did because it was so hard. You just never know. You can think you did fine and flunk and you can think you sucked an get an A. It's a toss in the bucket.

I had my clinical evaluation today and my clinical instructor Debbie said I needed a massage, like NOW! She said I appeared really stressed and she's right, I am. Although, I thought I was hiding it well. She told me it was written all over my face and that I needed to stop being too hard on myself because I was doing really well. Then I thought, you know, you're right I am doing well, why am I in such a tizzy? It just happens in nursing school I guess. No one else but your instructors and the classmates know what you're going through and that's a fact.

Tonight was our critical care challenge. You may not know what this is so I'll explain... All the nursing schools from the tri-state area and some of the hospitals get together and we have a face off of sorts. Who's the smartest and who know's more about critical care. Kinda like Jeopardy. It's a fun shindig where they feed us, play music, we get to unwind and interact with everyone and the most important part....we get two extra credit BONUS POINTS!!!!!! WOO HOO! I know what you're thinking....2 flippin' points??? For those of you in school, you know how important those 2 points can be and what they can mean to your grade. We NEVER get bonus points so it's a treat. Anyhow, we came in 2nd place...(we lost by 3 wrong answers) not bad considering 3 of the 5 schools involved were universities....and they think they're better than us....PFFFFT! We kicked butt. So I'm posting some pics and videos if I can figure out how. The vids are of our teachers....HILARIOUS! Blackmail! LOL

I got to thinking today about how bittersweet graduating will be. I know that I complain...A LOT, about school and how I cannot wait for it to be finished....BUT it will also be a sad day too. Think about it...I have been with these people for almost 2 years. We see eachother more than we see our families. Hell, we are family and it will be really odd not seeing them everyday. We're basically in a relationship. Atleast, it's longer than a lot of relationships. lol We've been through so much together. Highs, lows, you name it. They speak the same language I do and I really wish them all well once this is all said and done. I know the day of our pinning ceremony I will be a crying mess. I'm very sentimental anyway and to say goodbye to these people will choke me up. I'm not gonna lie. Not to mention it's a monumentous occasion for me. An achievement that I have fought very hard for. I better pack a bunch of tissues...dang. I have one semester left...that's 4 months....4 that's it and it's finished. This has been the ride of my life and I wouldn't take it back for anything. I don't know that other "degrees" offer the opportunity to get to know their classmates like nursing does. Well, maybe except for physicians...ha! Of course there have been moments where we've gotten on eachothers nerves, but we're all stressed out and atleast we can relate and understand those feelings. But the good days have outweighed the bad by far. I was looking at my classmates tonight and thinking about where they'd be a year from now. What specialty they would choose and how they would end up. We started with 32, we dwindled to 26 and I couldn't imagine myself with a better group of people. These memories will last a lifetime and you can't buy that. I just hope this isn't the end of these kind of experiences for me. I hope I continue to meet people as smart, funny, kind, quirky, silly and goofy as all of them. Listen to me, I sound as though I'm already finished and will be graduating next week. LOL I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm living in the moment and cherishing these times, even though they're hard. (Always live in the moment) I've never been challened as much as nursing school has challenged me. I have learned so much and although I complain about the instructors, it's always those who push me the most that I learn the most from. Many times I've been proven wrong about who they are. It's good to know when you've been wrong about people, especially when you find out they're not mean or evil, they just want you to succeed. I'm going to miss these instructors this semester a lot. Just as much as the students. MUAHHHHH and thank you for the wild ride.
Peace and love...
Christy
Tonya and I...on of my best friends at school :-)


My little buddy Stu


Ashley and Denise


Most of our whole class minus about 4.....I love them all :-)


My clinical instructor/teacher Debbie who acts just as crazy as us kids (she's deep in her cups. LOL)



Carol and I...one of my very best friends in the whole world!


One of our other 3rd semester instructors Marlena with some of my classmates

Happy Easter Everyone!

I hope everyone had a great Easter Sunday. I watched my kids open their easter baskets then I hit the bed again. We're having our "official" Easter with the family next weekend so I guess I got sick at the right time. LOL You can always find something good out of something bad right?

Sorry I didn't post sooner. I'm just now feeling like a human being again. For the last few days I've been zombified and enslaved to my bed. I take one percocet and it knocks me out cold. Ugh! I am going to go to school tomorrow. I really don't quite feel up to the task, but it's the end of the semester and I cannot afford to miss class. You know how it goes. I have a test in Micro wednesday and a psych test in nursing on Thursday. I'm sure I've already said that, but oh well. I don't like having two tests that close together..it makes for a stressful week. As if I need any added stress. Quite frankly, I think the stress is what got my in this position to begin with. Anyhow, I have tried all day to study for my psych test, that's hard to do when you're in and out of conciousness. Ha! BUT I can't say I didn't give it a go anyway. I'm not banking on the best grade, but surely I'll pass. The material isn't too difficult, but we'll see. This is the first test from this instructor so I don't know her style, I hate that. I've heard her tests are pretty easy, we'll find out now won't we? I plan on studying for my micro test the morning of. I can't give it more time than that. If we fail we get to take it again anyway, so I'm not fretting about it too much.

To those of you who are about to start school (Margaret). First of all congratulations. You're about to embark on a journey of a lifetime. Don't worry your pretty little head. Just be prepared. Know that it is challenging, but if you want it bad enough, then you will get through it. Some days you're going to wonder why you're putting yourself through the stress, other days you're going to smile to yourself and KNOW exaclty why. Just make sure to take care of yourself. I cannot tell you how many days all I had in my system was coffee and a bag of chips. It's a good idea to pack healthy snacks in your back pack so you're not forced to eat out of the vending machine. Apples, bananas, granola bars, water etc... You'll be envied by your classmates if you do this. While they're ashamedly (is that a word?) eating their cheetos you'll be eating your juicy apples and they'll wish they'd thought of it too. It's also important to make a plan! I cannot stress this enough. Schedule your study times. It's the best thing I've done. That way you won't feel the guilt when you're picking up your house or doing laundry because you know you've set aside time to study. On the subject of housework. DO NOT feel guilt if your house in is shambles. Your kids, if you have any, your husband, if you have one, and school is your first priority. Have them help too. I love a clean house as much as the next person, but I had to let my controlling ways go and just plan for breaks and free weekends to do the chores. It's hard to do, but you have to prioritize. Also, don't be ashamed to ask for help or hire a cleaning service. I did, I hired my mom and pay her every week to help with laundry and she sometimes even cooks up a meal for us....what a good mommy. Yes, I'm 31 and my mom helps me clean my room....so what? LOL Believe me, she loves the extra spending money and it works out for everyone all around. I don't have her come on my breaks and after I'm finished her job will be complete, but it has been a tremendous weight lifted off of us. In a family of 6 you gotta do what you gotta do. Buy a digital recorder. It will save your life. These people are cramming a lot of material in a short amount of time. You will miss most of what they say if you're taking notes so use your recorder as a reference. I use to listen to the whole thing, it did help, but it's time consuming. Go with works best with you and stick with it. You'll find out after the first couple of tests what works for you. Note cards don't help me unless it's definitional stuff. I usually re-wrote all of my notes and organized them. If you decide to do this, try and get caught up every night. It's hard to do, but will save you so much time and you'll have more time to study the material. Making notes is what takes the most time for me. They give you handouts, you have your book, and you'll have your notes. Putting it all together in one place helps the material make more sense. Don't freak out if you get a bad grade. Just try harder next time. My 1st semester was the worst for me. I made C's straight through and only missed 4 on the final and got a B in the class. LOL Getting use to the nursing tests takes practice. It wouldn't hurt to by a book of nursing questions that can help you get comfortable with them. They say they aren't tricky, but they lie because they are. LOL There are usually two right answers and you have to pick the BEST right answer. Remember the ABC's Airway, Breathing, Circulation. Airway takes priority over everything. If the circulation isn't working, that's bad, but if they don't have a patent airway they'll die so that intervention has to come first before the others. Also remember that the number one way to prevent the spread of infection is.....HANDWASHING! It's usually the right answer. He he. Don't be too hard on yourself, you can't be perfect all of the time and there are going to be days when you'll wonder if you can do it. Make a friend and support eachother. It's always helps to have someone close to you that knows what you're going through. You can do it...use that as your mantra. Don't give up and good luck!!!!

Until next time....

Renal Calculi Sucks

So, the last few days I've noticed my kidneys were hurting. I knew what it was....kidney stones. I get them a lot. A lot more than one person should anyway. I always know when they're coming on and I was praying it wouldn't start until the end of the semester. I went to the local urgent care and told the nurse practitioner that I have a history of stones. All she did was a urinalysis and told me I had a raging UTI. I knew I had more than that. I kept telling her that it was in my kidneys, NOT in my BLADDER! Arg. She wouldn't listen to me. She didn't do an x-ray or anything. So I got my antibiotic and my pyridium (for bladder spasms) and left. I told her I was in serious pain. Did she not notice the tears rolling down my face? She must not have becuse she didn't give me anything for the pain. I think a lot of healthcare providers think that everyone is after narcotics therefore they don't want to give them to you. I AM NOT A DRUG SEEKER!!!! I just wanted something to help. So I took the meds as soon as I got home and then I started feeling the worst pain of my life. It was worse than childbirth, worse than anything I'd ever felt. SO guess what? Off to the ER I went. I prayed the whole way there that I wouldn't die before I got there because that is what it felt like...I was dying. I have an extremely high tolerance for pain. I never once cried when giving birth to my 4 boys and I was bawling last night. I knew I had no choice but to go to the emergency room. They gave me morphine, toradol and phenergan at once. I was pretty much knocked out, and am still feeling the effects right now. So if this doesn't make sense I'm sorry. ;-) They did a CT scan and found that I indeed did have kidney stones, lots of them, but they weren't obstructing anything, thank goodness and I have a horrible kidney infection. THey did prescribe me some pain medicine, but since I have a test next week I'll not take it unless I can't handle the pain anymore. The er doc couldn't believe this practitioner sent me away without anything for pain and he said she didn't even give me enough of the antibiotic. I'm so mad at her. I really want to call her up and tell her exactly how angry I am that she didn't give me anything for my pain and that she didn't listen to me when I told her it was my kidneys. SHe acted like I didn't know what I was talking about. I know where my kidneys are and I know that they hurt. Arg! Anyway, I probably won't call her because frankly my head isn't all there to argue, but eventually I'll let her know.

Moving on....they changed our test date from Monday to Thursday. I hope I'm able to study this weekend. I'm not sure I'm in the right state of mind to remember anything. Ha. I'll write more later...gotta go take more meds now...

There's Light At The End Of The Tunnel

April is here..wow. The spring has come on fast this year. I looked out my window today and noticed the trees were green. When did that happen? Did everything bloom overnight? I can't believe we're coming onto the end of the semester. My calendar says only 25 more days...can I last that long? The end of the semester is a grueling time. It's as though we're playing catch up and trying to cram everything in last minute. We have yet to take out 1st psych test, it's next Monday and I've been so busy I haven't been able to study yet. I hope this weekend is enough time for that because that's all the time I'll have. We had out 2nd psych clinical yesterday. This time I was in the low functioning end of the adult unit. I don't want to say that they were crazy b/c that wouldn't be appropriate, BUT some of those people has really lost their minds....literally. It was an energy sucking atmosphere. I almost found myself slipping into their dark hole right along with them. The crying, screaming, pacing, mumbling incoherant speeches, hearing voices, hallucinations, catatonic states.....what a bummer. I feel for those people. The mind is a mystery and to feel hopeless that you can't be helped has to be the shittiest feeling in the world. When you're physically ill you can most of the time be helped, but when you're mentally ill it's all about trial and error really. To be trapped in your mind and not be aware of reality must be a terrible way to live...ugh. I couldn't take it.

I have to have my last pre-req by this summer...humanities. Luckily I got signed up for an online Intro To Music course so it should be pretty cake. Apparently we listen to music and talk about it....it shouldn't be bad. No I won't get the summer completely off, but as long as I'm not taking a nursing course it's ok with me. Words of advice for those of you who haven't started nursing school....FINISH YOUR PRE-REQ'S FIRST!!!!!!!!! It will save you stress and heartache, it's extremly difficult to juggle both. I'm the testament to that. Damn. Micro is going ok, I'm making a high B. I don't put any effort in the class at all, I haven't the energy for it. I'm surprised I'm passing at all. I took today off from that class. I needed a break and need to catch up on my assignments. Hopefully I get it all caught up today so I can move onto the next thing tommorow. It's crunch time and you've got to do all you can to stay above water. I can't wait for summer. I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I am more than ready.

Until next time....

You're Not Pullin' My Weeds!

Just wanted to check in. I didn't post much about psych because for one I couldn't find the words and two I just didn't want to exploit the kids. I know I didn't and would never give names or specifics, but I still felt awkward about it. Anyhow...I don't know if you noticed on my countdown calendar, but there is only 1 month remaining until 3rd semester is over forever!!! WOOT! Actually it's one month and a couple of days, but I like to think the end of April is the end. So what if I want to be in denial...it's ok.

I have been super busy. We have covered 8 chapters in psych already, and although some if it's common sense there is a lot of new terminology and stuff too. I think this test calls for me to break out the flash cards. I normally don't like to use flash cards, they've never really worked for me, but when there are a lof of definition type things I like to make them. It drills it in my mind. I have yet to make one...this weekend will be spent writing note cards...damn. I never get a day off. Boo Hoo. ;-) All 3 of my older boys are playing ball and have practice almost every day. I feel guilty if I even go and watch and I shouldn't feel that way. :-(

Do you remember when you were in "regular" classes and you'd buy a Meade 5 Star notebook and only use up one of the subject sections for notes? Ahhh...those were the days weren't they? I have one of those and it's completely full with writing on front and back. Yep. The whole damn thang! Bejeeezus! You'd think after all of that I'd be one smart cookie....think again. LOL Our final exams are comprehensive. Meaning all of that front and back jibberish is on one single, whomping, mega, top secret, under lock and key, this can be the end of your nursing career TEST! They keep stressing that we should already be reviewing that material, but frankly, who has the damn time? I know I don't. I spent 6 hours writing my IPR tonight...6! Then I ate and now I'm ready to drop dead until I have to get up and do it all over again tomorrow. BUT I'm not complainaing....I just don't know when we can cram that in.

The instructors say that half the class failed the final last semester. That's encouraging. I hear they're trying to do the final "weed out". They did it 1st semester and now they're doing it again. For those who haven't heard of this, it's basically the "heads" trying to make passing ridiculously hard to see who can hack it and who can't. They want to eliminate the weak and darned near kill the others in this process. I really don't understand this mentality. I understand that nursing is hard for a reason....peoples lives are at stake, but isn't there a big nursing shortage in America that we've all heard about non-stop??? If these people aren't educated enough to be an RN then they won't pass their boards, therefore they can't practice. It's as simple as that. Don't change the curriculum just b/c you want to lessen the graduating class. That's scary.

We have quite a few that are either on the border or closely under it. I'll be so sad if they don't make it. This semester was just too dang hard and long to have to re-take it. UGH x a gazillion. That would SUCK!!!!! I don't know if I could do this semester over again. I think I'd rather have my eyes scrubbed with shards of glass. They aren't weeding me out and that's all I'm gonna say about that. Hmmppf! We have 2 in our class now who are re-taking it b/c they failed last sem. Bravo to them for their stamina and determination. I just don't know if I'd have it in me, atleast not so soon anyway. Unfortunately, I think one of the girls is failing....sigh. I just don't understand this. Yes, they change the tests, but it's the same material. Don't you already have all of these notes? You have an advantage here....TAKE IT! I don't know about you all but the most time consuming thing for me is re-writing class notes in a orderly, studyable (another one of my made up words, I think) fashion. SHe should already have this material, most of it anyway. She's really nice too, I feel bad for her. I don't know if it's a cognitive thing or a I just don't study thing. I believe she's missed a test too. In my program, if you miss a test you have to wait until the end of the semester to re-take it. That's crazy. Can you imagine studying for a 9-10 chapter neurological exam while taking 2 psych tests and studying for the final? It's kind of impossible to do really well. Most ppl shoot themselves in the foot. I've yet to miss a test, knock on wood. Uh-oh, I hope I didn't just jinx myself. EEEK!

Alright, it's really way past my bedtime. I'm outta here,

Peace out!

1 clinical down....CHECK!

I finished my first psych clinical and not only was it interesting, it was very depressing. I was placed in the peds ward with children from 5-12 years old. I didn't get the chance to view their charts beforehand so I wasn't sure why the kids were even there, but I knew that a lot of them had suffered many kinds of abuse. Mental, emotional and physical. I first noticed there was a lot of structure for these kids. They were to get up, get dressed, have breakfast and then clean and tidy their rooms. Once their rooms were checked for order they were locked up and the kids couldn't return to their bedrooms until late in the afternoon. Their first projects were to write down their goals for the day...ie, I will find something posisitve with therapy today or I will try to use my coping skills if I become angry today etc... From there they went into their frist group therapy for the day. My objective was to observe, but to try and communicate with the kids in a therapeutic way. I found it hard to try and have a decent conversation with the kids because a) most of them were really withdrawn and b) they kept them plenty busy all day. THe first group session was about anger management and coping skills. The kids talked about what they feel like when they become angry and they learned that they owned their feelings so the only way they could become angry etc... was if they they allowed themselves to become that way. They learned some excercises for relieving tension such as stretching, deep breathing and other forms of positive coping skills. Then they made stress balls from split peas and balloons. Many kids were receptive, but you could tell others were not. Other therapies throughout the day included games where they would draw their favorite ways to relieve their stress etc... You have to understand that these kids were very disturbed so these games didn't render smiles and raised hands like regular, healthy children. Activities were met with long faces and inward contemplation. I felt very drained being in those therapies and felt a lot of sympathy, which we aren't suppose to do.

One boy of age 6 became so frustrated he decided he was going to yell at the staff and call them some of the most horendous names I've ever heard. He was put in the "time out" room (4 plain concrete walls) to think about what he'd done. He screamed yelled expletives and kicked walls for 45 minutes before his "shot" kicked in and he tuckered out. Sad.....

I tried my best to get a conversation out of atleast one kid, but it was difficult. Many of these kids have trust issues so getting them to open up to me was really hard. Not only was I there to observe but I also have to write an IPR (interpersonal response) as well, so I was doing my best. I can't say I had a great conversation with anyone, but I guess I got enough to write something down. I will write more later when I get a chance.

Psych clinical tomorrow

I came away from my first day back unscathed. One more day down....CHECK!
Tomorrow is our 1st psych clinincal and I'm a little worried. I'm not sure I'm going to say the right things to the patients and then I'll bother them or feel stupid. We're told not to ask them anything, other than, how was therapy?, how's your day going? etc... I just hope the day goes by quickly... we're there from 8-5...long day for just observing. As much as I like psych as a subject, I'm not sure I'll like it immensely as a clinical. I'm usually really good conversing with people but when there's a script...sort of...it's different. We're suppose to use therapeutic techniques such as: Pt- "I want to kill myself". Me- "How does that make you feel"? Pt- "It makes me feel like shit dumbass." Me- "Oh." Then the conversation comes to an abrupt end and therefore it's not therapeutic. I don't even know if we can ask then why. Sigh, I'm confused about our role in this process...obviously. I guess we'll find out if all goes well tomorrow now won't we? I thought the psych portion of our content would be easier than med-surg. I'm not so sure about that now. There are a lot of new terms and such to remember. Lots of drugs too! Hopefully I do ok. I averaged my grade and I have somewhere around an 89% total. Not to shabby. My goal is to do the best I can so that I am not counting down how many I can get wrong on the final..that's a scary thing. I once could only get like 15 wrong ...of course I missed only 4 ;-), then last semester I could have failed the final and still passed so that was an awesome feeling. I think I'm going to go and make some note cards for the next test right now while I'm thinking of it...ta ta.

Christy

If I could just have one more week....

Well, it's Sunday. You know what that means? My spring break is almost ever. Yes, it's true. Tomorrow I have to go back to school..Ugh! My break has been wonderful. I have gotten a lot of things done, but this week has just been a tease. I really don't want to go back. Back to the grind, the stress, the teachers and the bs that goes along with it. Sometimes it feels like I'm in grade school all over again. Sometimes the best thing to do is to turn the other cheek, keep your lips sealed and vent silently to yourself or on a blog like I'm doing right now. I don't agree with a lot of things that are going on, but what can ya do? If you want to have an easy time of it, you'll do nothing and that is what many of us are forced to do...absolutly nothing. SO, with that being said I'm hoping these next 4 and a half weeks fly by because I'm ready for this semester to come to it's climactical end. Yes, I know I sound like a broken record, but I can't seem to think of anything else but it being finished.

I'm already having a bit of anxiety about returning. The air is thick with tension all around. It's suffocating sometimes. I knew the day I returned to school this semester that it wasn't going to be a good one. I felt it, the vibe. For a while I thought it was just my negativity that was clouding my judgement, but I soon realized that wasn't it at all. Others felt the same, therefore I knew I wasn't just imagining things in my head. I wasn't expecting easy, but I was hoping that I wouldn't grow to hate nursing school. I'm coming to despise it due to the politics of it all.

I really should have gotten caught up on my reading for psych, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just really wanted time away from all of that to focus on getting myself back in order. It really drains you, it does. I have to work hard for my grades, for some it comes easier. I'm not one of those people, so essentially it's like running a marathon. At first you have momentum, then you just get tuckered out and I am....exausted. Next semester will be better, I honestly don't think it can get worse than this. I hear all of our skills are done in the first two weeks of class, I believe there are 4 or 5 we have to do. Well, the only good thing I can say about that is...atleast we get it over with right off the bat right? It will be the last semester...I cannot believe it. I can't imagine the day I won't have to worry about a test ever again...aside from the NCLEX of course. I think if you can get through nursing school than anything is possible....anything. I will have been in school for 3 and a half years when all is said and done...that's a long time, especially when you don't have a break and you go full time. To think of all the things that are locked up tight in my brain. LOL Too bad they won't come out when commanded to. I do feel proud of all I've done, but it hasn't hit me just yet that I'm about to be a nurse. Maybe once I'm working then it will hit me. I know my husband cannot wait. He's ready for me to being home some bacon for a change. lol


Well, this post was mainly me complaining, so sorry about that. It's 80 degrees outside and I plan on spending my last day of freedom enjoying it.
Until next time....

George the Cheater Part Deux

OK....Grey's Anatomy lastnight was awesome. I loved the beginning...Christina: "I really didn't like hearing George at 3 in the morning doing his version of SexyBack". Merideth: "Well, atleast he and Izzy are making up. You did make up didn't you?" Ha ha ha. They had no clue what was going on in that room. They, like us, would never guess that Izzy and George would....ya know. I was shocked when we discovered George didn't remember that he and Izzy had sex. Not only did he cheat on his wife, the guy doesn't even remember doing it....until he's meeting Callie's father for the first time and then all of the sudden...flashbacks. Oh dear....then Izzy is forced to work with the O'Malley's for the rest of the day. Pure torture. You can tell Izzy is wrestling with the fact that George doesn't remember....she looked hurt even. She wanted to tell him, but couldn't, then he did and he was well....shocked. He asked Izzy basically to pretend it didn't happen because he didn't want to clear his conscience for his own selfish reasons and hurt Callie. That's some twisted way of saying....I don't want her to know because she might tackle me and cause permanent damage.

I loved how protective Derrick was of Merideth's vulnerable state. He really does love her and want what's best for her, but she really need to prove something to herself and her dead mom (by doing the new face surery) and she did and all ended happily there. Except...Derrick's interview went horrible while McSteamy ended up smelling like a rose. He was is and will always be out for his own self.

I am really loving the storyline with Alex and Jane Doe. I sense he's falling for this poor girl with the severely jacked up face. I wonder if they'll reveal "Ava" and her new face next week...hmm. And who is she? Is she married? Divorced? Does she have any family..no one has come looking for her. Who's teh daddy? Was she on vacation....just tell me WHO IN THE HELL THIS CHICK IS!!!! He's so sweet and gentle with her...that's sooo not him. He basically helped her decide between the 3 faces she had to choose from and she values his opinion....it's a very sweet storyline and I hope the writers don't go a f*ck this one up because I'm really waiting with bated breath to see how it all unfolds.

So did you all laugh as hard as I did when Dr Baily was walking down the hall and noticed McSteamy standing there. She had a look of disgust on her face...classic Miranda. I just adore her.

Operation Be Kind-Rewind failed for Cristina , but it all ended happily in the end. Justice of the peace amd Mer and Der....how romantic. No Mosquito nets! Ha ha.

Well, I'm loving the direction Grey's is going, despite the fact that I'm mad that George cheated on Callie. Can't wait for next week.

George the Cheater

I have yet to watch tonight's episode of Grey's but I wanted to comment on last weeks episode. IZZY AND GEORGE???? What's up with that? I can't say I was shocked, but dayum! What's George gonna do now? He is just too timid and sweet for Izzy. She needs a strong man....like Denny. What did George go and do? Is he going to tell Callie? Oh Lordy! Callie will kill him and Izzy both. He'd better tell her over the phone. LOL SO not only will Izzy be grappling with her feelings left for Denny, but also Alex and now George. Tsk Tsk. Drink + men = sex...Don't you know that Izzy? I guess the writers are going back to the old tried and true...have everyone sleep with everyone and make a big hot mess of everything. Geez! Callie is rich...like heiress rich. Wonder if George will continue eating room service out of big daddy's pockets? We'll have to wait and see...

And what was with that creepy man grabbing Christina's butt? I'm glad, give ole Burke a run for his money, he's too pompous anyway. I'm still pissed he called TR Knight a faggot and then LIED about it in front of TR who then went on Ellen and said he's a liar and he heard him. Whatever! The man would have a fit if someone threw derogitory comments in his direction. Pffffffffffft! I hate haters.

I really loved the dinner with Merideth's dad and step mom. Mare Winningham...remember her from St. Elmos Fire? She was in love with Billy (Rob Lowe in his too hot for tv days) and Billy made fun of her girdle when they were about to get it on? Poor Mare. Never fall in love with a hot sax player. They'll break your heart everytime. I can't watch her without thinking of that humiliating moment in cinema history.

Let's take a trip back in time shall we????


Ahhhh...didn't you just love that movie? I love the 80's...
So how did I get so off track...Mare...oh yeah...atleast she's still working. Well....I'm off to watch Grey's. I'll post on it later....let's hope George isn't killed off the show.

Where's My Fairy Godmother?

I have forgotten how to be a lady of leisure, I've been a slave to the books for far too long. Why did I ever decide to become a nurse? Being a housewife isn't so bad. I get to plan meals, tidy the house, spend time with my family, watch tv shows that I've missed. Hell I even took and hour to give myself a manicure and pedi. This is heaven! Damn me and my practical and realistic self. Deciding to get an education pffttt! Education is SO overrated. LOL I've even gotten to sit and read a book...one that doesn't require me to retain an ounce of it. Fluff..I love books full of fluff, romance, betrayal...living vicariously is fun! I am getting too comfortable in this role of mother and wife. I forgot just how much I love it. And in less than a week the spell will be broken...I'll go back to being a slave, my house will be unkempt, my laundry pile will go back to the size of Mount Everest and I will once again be the stressed out mother of four everyone has come to avoid. Sigh!

Such is life. It can't always be a fairytale. 5 more weeks....5 weeks and I'm done. It isn't so long right? Ugh...just get me there....to the end.

Summertime....barbecues, ball games, lounging poolside....I can't wait. I will be so happy when this semester is complete and I can be myself again. That's all I want...to feel like myself.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Thank goodness it's Spring Break! I've never needed a break more than I do right now. This week was so busy. I had a Micro test on Wednesday and Thursday I had my nursing test on Neuro. It sucked. They had us take the test alone then alerted us that afterward we'd take it again, but in groups of 3 (arranged by our total points) and they'd take our original grade and average it with the group grade and if our group grade ended up being better than our own, that's the grade we got. It's called collaborative testing. I only got 2 extra points more than what I had and ended up with an 81% which is a C = UGH! It brought my average down for the class to like an 86 or something. Oh well, atleast I passed and am not failing the class, which is what is happening to a lot of people this semester. There are supposedly about 8 people failing, that really sucks. SO, a lot of these people won't be graduating with us, unless they can pull up their grade enough, which is really hard to do at this point. We only have about 29-30 people in our class as it is because it's dwindled over time for various reasons. Well, atleast I got that one done. CHECK! I just keep chekin' em off. So, now where I stand is I have 4 psych clinicals (we had our orientation at the facility yesterday)two psych tests and our final exam. We have 5 weeks of class left. OH MY GOSH, I can't believe it! I am so ready.

Am removing the rest of my post because I don't want to ruffle feathers....even though I should! Ha!

Peace....

I don't know why, but I laughed my arse off at this video.

More tests...

1 week until Spring Break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT! We have our Neuro test Thursday and Wednesday I have a lab test in micro....ugh. I'm not prepared for either one. I have so many notes left to re-write for nursing it's ridiculous. Our neuro test covers 8 chapters worth of material....bejeezus. I sat at my dining room table yesterday for 8 hours writing notes and I'm only half way there. Wish me luck on this test. It's going to be a booger.

You Tube is the Shiz!

This song is hot. Remember Alan Thicke (the dad, Jason Seiver) from growing pains? This is his son. He reminds me of Justin Timberlake and no I'm not afraid to admit it, I love JT. I think he's an artist and I appriciate artists. There you have it. (Check out my video section)


Bringing Study Back


Bringing Nursing Back


ER Rap

Feeling Overwhelmed

Our last clinical was yesterday and I couldn't be more thankful. Clinicals wear me out. I didn't have a great day yesterday. I had 3 pt's all by myself and they were all pretty intense. 1-rib fractures, was on bedrest but was ordered up to chair when I got there. Tried getting him up to go to the bathroom and he tried passing out on me. His wife and I got him to the bed before he fell, thank goodness. He was very needy all day. Well, his wife was really needy. He was fine after the almost passing out episode. 2nd pt was a woman who had a massive GI bleed. She had had 3 solid blood stools before arriving at the hospital and was getting blood transfusions all day. 3rd pt had a fem-fem bypass the day before. Both of his femoral arteries were occluded. This is the second time he's had this done, poor fella. He had three incisions....one at both groin areas then one that started towards the middle of the chest and went around his side to his back....craziness. He was the nicest guy. I cannot believe he was even moving around after that, I have to admit his incisions looked pretty painful.

Let me start with why this was a bad day....aunt flo came to visit me before I left the house...ugh. The night before I had started to have a temp and my throat was hurting....uh-oh, I feel some sickness coming on. I felt like absolute shit all day while I was running my ass off. Normally I would have called in, but I wasn't about to miss last clinical. I wanted to get it over with and not have to make it up. I had the worst 3 pt's on the floor...seriously. The night before clinical we always go to our site to get our assignments. 2 of my assigned patients had been discharged which meant I had to pick another 2. I asked one of the nurses who was easier because we are suppose to have 1 complicated patient and 2 relatively easy ones (if there is such a thing) at first. Keep in mind this was the 1st time I had 3 all by myself. She says to me...honey, this is the real world, you ain't gonna get easy pt's. Then she gave me the two worst ones. I told instructor about this and she was pissed at the nurse, but also at me for not listening to my own "judgement" and making my own decisions. Anyway.... All of the other students seemed to have a lot of time on their hands, whereas I did not. That isn't what bothered me, what bothered me was that I was getting behind...really behind on med passes. I didn't even get one med passed until 2 hours after it was due because SOME other pt wouldn't let me leave their side because they wanted to be coddled. THEN the other students kept asking me what was wrong because I looked funny. It's called concentration, being busy, stressed out and working. They kept saying...are you ok? over and over and over. Honestly, I was ok, but I was really, really busy. It wasn't until they all started asking me things that I got upset because I start thinking to myself....does me expression render pissed off, upset, not ok? I've been told before that I look so intense sometimes, when all actuality, that's just my face. LOL I guess it bugged me and made me self concious which led me to telling them to STOP asking me what's wrong because NOTHING was wrong...I WAS JUST BUSY and I FELT LIKE POO! Anyway, it made me more moody...I know they were just trying to help and I love them all for it, I apologized if I seemed snappy, which I probably did. BOO@me. SO....I also had a lot of new things that day that I'd never done before. My fem-fem pt needed his NG tube flushed. I remember doing this as a skill, but couldn't even remember the 1st step at the bedside. It's wayyyyy easier than I thought it would be. Here's the breakdown....you want to insert 30cc's of air (like you can actually measure air pfft) from a big ball plunger/syringe doohickey into their NG tube and listen to the abdomen for the swoosh of air.....and yes it does sound like a swoosh...cool. Then you fill the syringe with 30cc of normal saline to flush. Once flushed you want to retract the bulb and hope for 30 cc's of content. I only got 20, but she said it was ok. I also had a lot of new med orders come in and that got me even more behind because I was trying to get pharmacy to send the meds up blah blah blah. All of my pt's were diabetic so I had a lot of insulin to prepare. They weren't all sliding scale either. FINALLY I got to go to lunch and I didn't even eat, I was too upset and I can't even really say why. Maybe it's because I felt like I was all thumbs all day, maybe because I felt my confidence was shot that day...whatever it was, I hated the feeling. I sat down with the others and couldn't help it...I cried. If I wanted to, I could have cried more, but I had to contain it because I was in a public place. How embarassing. I think I just felt awful and I was so behind and really overwhelmed. I wasn't wanting sympathy, I wanted a release. They understand, I'm sure they feel this way too from time to time.

Anyhow the day went on and I went on, what else can you do? So here I am and I'm ok, still feeling like crap, but ok.

YEE HAW!

Last Med-Surg clinical tomorrow...dancin' the jig. I'll have 3 pt's on my own tomorrow for the first time. I'm sure I'll have some interesting things to share. 3 pt's is a lot when you're in nursing school, I think so anyway. I remember when I thought I'd die if I had more than one. Hope everyone has a good rest of the week!

I AM NOT A COMPUTER!

Mondays suck. Here is how my day began today. Got up at 6am to get kids ready for school. Took a shower, drank some coffee and left the house at nine. Got to school at 10 and finished my clinical worksheet that was due by the start of class (10:20). Forgot it was due...oops. Had nursing class until 12:20. We talked about CVA (stroke) for the whole 2 hours. On and on and on and on...oy! I was lost, she's all over the place. (Must re-write those notes later that are fit for styudying). Hope I have time for that. 12:30 began studying for micro quiz (DNA) that began at 1:00. (OOPS...Forgot Again!) Did more talking than studying...I'm burned out. 12:45 ate some Girl Scout thin mint cookies for lunch. Healthy. 1:00 took Micro test (8 questions). 1:20 began culturing eschericia coli (E.coli) and all kinds of other nasty, smelly shit. 2:00 took an open book quiz over handwashing techniques....YAWN! 2:15 noticed the girl sitting next to me staring at my face in personal growth. Shrugged it off and went about my business. 2:30 went over micro quiz taken at beginning of the class...missed 5 out of 8..I rock! lol Do I care? No...you know why? Because I'm human and even though I forgot about it, I wouldn't have had time to study for it anyway so, whatever. 2:50...cultured so more nasty crap and got to use the bunson burner...fun. 3:30 started new material and I don't know what it was because I didn't pay attention...hey my brain can only hold so much in a day ya know? 4:00 let out of class, got in car and drove home with a blank stare and a blank mind. 4:45, rolled up in my drive, took a glance in the mirror and noticed a nice chocolate smear on my chin. Oh God! Was that there since the thin mints? Yes...apparently so. No wonder that girl was staring. Why didn't anyone tell me? I'm too tired to care so I wiped my face, then my pride and made it in the house. 5:00 ate some lunch, since I never really had any, said hello to my kids and began an assignment that is due for Thursday (that I forgot to do last Thursday-never happened before) that I really want to get out of the way. 8:00 finished the assignment, helped son write a paper and now here I am typing all of my boring, long day to you fine people.

I am not a computer! I cannot possibly remember all of this crap. I have been so forgetful lately and the reason is ironic..I have so much to remember! There is so much going on right now I'm lucky I remember my name, hell sometimes I even forget who I am and why I even wanted to do this in the first place. I use to be a layed back gal, could handle anything. Now, I'm wound up as tight as a spring and any minute the tension lets loose I'll be on the floor in the fetal position rocking back and forth. lol...let's hope not. Some days, when the overwhelmness (is that a word? probably not) gets to me I wonder...why am I doing this? Is it worth all of this stress and the guilt created by not getting to see my family? I just keep reminding myself I'm alsmot there. Heck, I'm more than halfway there..it feels good to say that now. As the title of my blog states...follow me on this journey. It is a journey. It's a test of strenth, endurance, determination and drive. Overall, I think it is worth it....really worth it. I know that being an LPN or RN is hard, but I think if you can get through nursing school than anything is possible. It's the most time consuming, grueling, demanding, stressful thing I have ever done in my whole life, but I think the rewards will be greater than all of that. I'm waiting... If it weren't for my husband I don't know what I would do. He has taken over everything in our lives and doesn't complain. How lucky am I? I am lucky and even though I get on here and vent about my terrible days I know it could be much, much worse. My kids are all healthy and doing well in school and I know most moms brag about their kids, but my boys are very cool. They all have great character, senses of humor and good morals. I'm a very proud mom. Yes my husband and I disagree...a lot, but he loves me for me. When I'm down he lifts me up and gives me that push I need to keep on keepin' on. I have to keep reminding myself...it will be ok. I will make it. I will conquer this and when graduation day comes I can stand with my head held high and know that I can do anything I set my mind to. We all can. That is one thing I now know for sure....anything is possible if you want it bad enough. At the end of your schooling you normally have a pinning ceremony...honoring the nursing ancestors of the past and you can choose someone to pin you. It can be a teacher, your mom a classmate or friend, anyone who has inspired or helped you get through it. I will choose my husband Keith because he has been my arms, legs and helping hands through all of this. So, I hope that all of you going through the same as me, and I know you're out there...I hope you have that support, because it's very important. Good luck and study hard!
Peace....

How Do You Choose A Specialty?

Not much has been going on on the school front. We're now covering the neuro system. It's kind of interesting. The brain is a mysterious and complicated thing. We have our exam over the material on the 15th and the week after that is SPRING BREAK!!! YAY! I'm can't wait. As of right now we have about 8 weeks left. I can't believe that within that 8 weeks we'll have 3 more exams and a final in nursing, plus 4 psych rotations. After our neuro test the rest of the material is psych. I like psych so I'm excited about that. This week is our last med-surg rotation. I have to admit, I had fun at clinical this go round. I think it's because all of our confidence is building and feeling like a nurse gets more real every day. I do feel like I know what I'm doing most days and it's happened so gradually that it wasn't an ah-ha moment, but it feels good to not have to ask about everything and to just understand it. I still think I need a good way to do a thourough assessment without needing to look at my cheat sheet. That's my new goal...learning how to do a great assessment. Of course sometimes I still feel fumbly and awkward, but I feel I've come a long way from where I was last semester. I didn't realize when I was in 1st semester the amount of knowledge and experience you gain from there to your 3rd semester. It feels like 1st semester was a hundred years ago. I see all the 1st semester students in the hallway stressing over their skills and I want to go up and hug them and tell them it will be ok. That's me being Mother Hen. I remember those days well...sitting in the hall awaiting the intructor to walk out and call my name. I'd get the cold sweats of fear, the wash of anticipated failure. Worrying about which instructor you'd get and hoping it wasn't a certain one who loved to fail people. You'd chant your skills to yourself....don't cross the sterile field, don't cross the sterile field, tear the tape, tear the tape, check for a blood return, check for a blood return. Then the intructor you SOOO didn't want walks out and calls your name and it's in slow motion. You look around at your compadres and you see the look of pity in their eyes, but gratefulness because she didn't call their name. Sigh..those days were hell. LOL Thank goodness we don't have any skills this semester, but next semester (4th) we do. 4th semester is OB and Peds. I cannot wait. I am so freakin' excited about OB. I went into nursing because I wanted to be a Labor and Delivery nurse...as time has gone on I have second guessed myself a lot. Honestly I don't know what I want to do yet. I'd still love to do L&D, but I also want to make sure I have a career where I get to use the skills I was taught and since I haven't had an OB rotation yet I don't know what OB nursing is like. My sis works as a surgical tech in L&D and absolutley loves it, but she's an adrenaline junky too. L&D is very unpredictable and I like that. I don't want a boring job, I want something exciting and challenging. In L&D you have double the responsability because you're caring for not just one life, but two...so that's scary. I do know what I don't want to do. I don't like ortho, rehab etc... That bores me to tears. I also don't like gerontology. I worked as a CNA at a nursing home once and vowed..NEVER AGAIN! I hope no one takes offense, but it just isn't my thing and I'm glad I know that now. Med-Surg is cool because there's always something different and you definately get to use all of your skills, but I think I'd be more comfortable with a specialty. My OR rotation was great, but standing in surgery for hours at a time can be grueling and some of the docs are arseholes with huge heads and I don't think I'd take kindly to them yelling at me. I'm afraid I'd yell back. lol I'd like to get an externship this summer in L&D to make sure, but I was told not to take it unless it's what I wanted to do for certain because they'd probably want to hire me after all was said and done. Sigh...I hate not knowing and indecisiveness. I'm waiting for a bell to go off in my head signaling my future. Ding Ding Ding...this is for you! I don't know if that will happen, but we'll see.

Nursing has so many avenues and that's why it appealed to me. There are so many specialties you can choose from. Maybe I need to do some research on the ones I like and weigh the pros and cons. Yes, that's what I'll do. Listen to me thinking outloud. How bored are you by this post? lol Anyway, I think all nurses go through this at the beginning of their career. My fear is getting stuck, I've seen this happen so much. A nurse starts out somewhere and hates it but doesn't switch units or careers. I want to find something I love so much I'll never want to leave and I hope that I do. I hope that you do too.

Stabbings and American Idol

Clincal: One of my pt's... drunk and having sex with his girlfriend, caught by wife. Wife sees red, stabs him multiple times. Slices throat, punctures lung, slices fingers. Cut up all over. The man looked like he was in a fight with with some Kung Foo style shiz. Man survies, confused, alcoholic, depressed (what else?). Detox protocol, librium, ativan and the like. Prn meds-Beer. No joke, the man had beer as a prn medication (as needed). Beer + hospital= huh? Man decribes horror as I help him amublate down the hall. Honest, horror. Poor man. Wife...in jail, probably for a very, very long time. Domestic violence, infidelity, foolhardiness=lives ruined. Don't try this at home.

On to something not so depressing...Well, as we all know it's American Idol Time. That's right...I don't know about you, but American Idol is the highlight of my Tuesday and Wednesday nights. I've been watching this season from the beginning, as I always have, and I have to say...no one other than Miss Doolittle, Keisha Jones and beat box Blake have really caught my attention. Don't get me wrong there are some good singers, but where is that WOW factor we usually have? I mean I remember the first time I heard Bo Bice I was like...Oh hell Yes! The first time I heard Carrie Underwood I was blown away. Will we ever hear another voice like that on American Idol again? They are naturals, performers and people with voices that stand out above the crowd. I hope this season turns out some real talent. First of all...Sanjaya Malakar, and no I didn't google that, I'm just a great speller..., what's the deal with him? Sorry but the guy...not so good and he looks like a really tan Farrah Fawcet. I'm sure he's a nice kid, but where's the talent? I'm waiting..... American Idol is the ultimate talent show of our time. It's not just a sensation, but proves that you can be serving burgers one minute and be a grammy winner the next. Let's look at the statistics as best as my memory allows... Kelly Clarkson...grammy award winner (maybe 2 times, but more than you and I and who else can say they have a grammy?), how many number one hits has she had? I don't know, but I know it's a lot. Even that Kimberly Caldwell has a show on the TV Guide channel. Sure, we can only see half of her face sometimes, but atleast her forehead is getting some air time. Ruben Studdard, not a huge album seller, but popular in the R&B genre nonetheless. Clay Aiken, not even a winner of AI and he's sold more albums than...lots of people I'm sure. Probably more than ODB anyway. That's Old Dirty Bastard for the old folk. You have to admit....the Claymates represent! Loyalty. Fantasia Barino...winner, had a biopic on Lifetime of her life and now she starring in Broadway's hit The Color Purple on BROADWAY! Not to mention she was on Oprah yesterday pimpin' herself. She even said... "I might be poor and I might be ugly, but I'm here." Yes she did. Yes, she was on Oprah, the O Holy wisdom of goodness and light. At least for me anyway. LUV her! Anyway...Oprah...That's huge! Moving on....Carrie Underwood...need I say more? She's been on Oprah too. The chick beat out Faith Hill for a CMA award, we all remember that little scandal. Her voice is an instrument...beautiful. Bo Bice, made a nice CD, although I think he got ripped by the music biz and coerced into a pop album...so not him. The 3 songs on his album that are really good are the ones he wrote himself. He's been sick, I hope he gets better....bowel troubles. I think it perforated, twisted over eachother etc... It was really serious for a while there. I was the biggest Bo Bice fan around. I really think his voice is incredible, beautiful, soulful....yum. I had tickets to see him in my hometown and he cancelled. I was bummed, I have a major big crush on him. Yes I know I'm a grown woman! LOL Jennifer Hudson...I loved her from the beginning. I'm not hopping on any bandwagon either, I pointed her out the 1st week. Her voice is a powerhouse and she gives me the chills everytime she sings. Anyhow she won the Academy Award! That's ...unbelievable. Also been on Oprah, even bigger. I'm starting to see a trend here. Chris Daughtry...album is at #3 on the charts...poor Taylor, he's #137. Oh well. MY POINT...AI turns out some major players and those people on there now just aren't proving that they're in the game yet, save a couple. Guess we'll wait and see. I hope Antonella Barba and Sanjaya goes home...this isn't a beauty contest, it's a singing contest and they can take their pretty selves and go. There you have it, my thoughts, as jumbled as they may be.

Peace...
Posting some tributes:

Miracles Can Happen

They threw 3 questions on the last test meaning I missed 3. I got a 46 out of 49 which is a 93%-A. I rock. Word!