Time is going by, really, really slow

This is hilarious! A cop makes pot brownies, eats them all, freaks out, calls 911 for help. The funnier part is the news anchor who can't keep her composure. Check it out:

Goodbye Sopranos

So, I watched the Soprano's season finale and I thought it sucked...kinda, but maybe not. We are led to believe that something major will happen to the Soprano's family in the finale. We already know that Silvio is almost dead, Bobby was shot, Phil was killed then accidentally crushed by his own car...eeewwww. It's a New Jersey vs' New York killing spree. So, we know that something is bound to happen to Tony or Carmella, or one of his kids. All of the foreshadowing leads us to believe this but....In the final scene Tony walks into a diner he looks around at the people to see if anyone looks suspicious. He puts a quarter in the juke box and plays Don't stop Believin' by Journey. As this song blasts in the background, Carmella walks in and your assume something may happen to her, then AJ comes in right after a suspicious looking fellow who the audience believes may be the one that's going to start shooting up some people...namely someone in the Soprano fam. Then we see Meadow on the street trying unsuccessfully to parallel park her car. We assume she may get hit by a car, or hit by a mobster...something...b/c she keeps trying and trying and she just can't seem to get her damn car parked. Finally..she runs into the restaurant to meet her family and as the door bell chimes her entrance, Tony looks up, the music is at the "don't stop" part and it cuts to black. End of show. Forever!

Before this, when Tony walks into the restaurant he sees himself sitting at the booth before he sits down...weird. I don't get it. I didn't see this until I replayed the scene. Thank you DVR. Also, before Meadow walks in, suspicious looking man goes to the bathroom which just happens to be right next to Tony's table. Did he walk out and kill Tony right as Meadow walks in the restaurant? Some say the reason it cut to black was b/c this may have been the last thing Tony see's before he dies. I dunno..it's all too artsy fartsy for me. Is he freakin' dead or not? There was a lot of foreshadowing that Tony would die soon. Especially when he went to Vegas and did peyote in the desert and thought he saw God. I thought that was a big clue...but I guess everyone on peyote sees God when they're in the desert, well except for Jim Morrison, he just saw that old indian man and a man who looked like the devil, but whatever.

David Chase, the creator, never was one to tie up loose ends, which I guess it what kept us watching, in real life are the loose ends always tied up? No, but there is stuff I wanna know. And what was with that cat staring at Chrissy's picture in the episode? He just sat there...staring. Was is Christopher reincarnated? Was is Adriana getting the last laugh? What was the stinkin' point? Wasting a whole 10 minutes of the finale on a cat.... pffft. I'm sure there was some symbolic significance there, but I didn't see it. Paulie was freaked out by the cat, he wanted to kill it but Tony wouldn't let him. Speaking of Paulie Walnuts...how did he end up alive? Could we really trust him?? He seemed a little shady huh? I felt bad for Paulie when he spilled his guts to Tone about seeing the Virgin Mary and Tony mocked him...If I remember correctly, after Tony was shot previously, he tried explaining his own near death experience to ppl (remember the monks?)and got no sympathy. They all just looked uncomfortable and changed the subject. You'd think Tony would understand...guess not...or maybe all of these near death experiences was a sign and Tony was the one uncomfortable. He knew something was coming. This last season was about his spiritual awareness and he tried to ignore it, but God wouldn't let him would he? If Tony is dead, did he go to hell? Carmella always said he would...

Guess we'll never really know what happened unless they make a movie, which I can see, but they've practically whacked all the main characters so who knows. Well, goodbye to an epic television show, arguably the best show in history.

Here's a lil tribute:

Put On Your Roller Skates....

I got my final semester's class calendar today in the mail. You can imagine my excitement as I opened it. Why? I don't know, probably because everything we'll be doing is written there and I can truly see that the end is near. The first thing I did was skip to December to see when our final exam is going to be. I didn't see anything..hmm... Skipped back to November scouring, scanning the days searching for the date....not there either. Huh? Skipped back again to October and there it was. Written in small font at the bottom of the page...Final Exam October 31st. Yippy! October? Really? The last exam ever? The last test I'll have to take until NCLEX is on Halloween? Is this true? Is it real? Oh my!

I am so excited that the end is near. My stomach was, is, in excited little butterfly knots. Fear, joy, nerves, happiness all rolled in one. According to our calendar, the last semester is going to be a busy ass time. Class begins August 20th...cool, it normally begins 2 weeks before that. Our math exam is the 24th, the same week class begins and you all know how that goes....you have to pass and you only get 2 shots or it's adios amigos for you. I'm not worried, because I've never failed before and hope that I don't now that it's almost over. It covers IV drip rates, dosages and equivelents, IV administration etc... Nothing we don't already have down pat at this point.

We begin lecture with OB-Intrapartum care. Our first exam is on the 31st..one day after my b-day. (OMG I'll be 32...how'd this happen? Not fair!) By this time we have to come up with our cap and gown money, buy our pins for the pinning ceremony, put our deposits down for our graduating photos, (Yes, we must wear those silly nurse hats...it's tradition), of course buy our books pay our tuition, and pay for our ATI testing fees. Grand total= A lot of dinero $$$!

OB clinicals begin in the 1st week of September. We have 4 OB clinicals total and I believe we're also on call incase one of our pt's goes into labor. Yes, on call, which means no matter where you are or what you're doing..you're off for the races. Out of my way folks, a baby is coming! I will more than likely be an hour or so away, so this may present a problem. Not to mention I have my own "babies" at home who can't be left at home alone. I'll have to have a sitter on call for me when I'm on call. 2nd exam....Sept 17th. (Eeek...that's a long time between tests= lots of meterial=cramming and stressing).

2nd week of October is our fall break and signifies the end of our OB rotations. After fall break we begin our Peds clinical. There are 4 of them total as well. BUT because I was one of the volunteers from our class (along with others) that chose to do this camp, we're exempt from the last clinical day...meaning only 3 peds clinicals. Yay! PLUS those of us who volunteer also get the opportunity for 5 extra bonus points, and we all know how important those are! This coming Monday we have to go to a meeting with our instructors regarding asthma camp. The camp is on the 20th from 8-3...not too bad. After October 15th we begin our precepting hours. We have to have 120 by the end of the semester. You can either choose your preceptor or they'll assign you one. I hope I can find someone on my own, otherwise I'm afraid I'll get a Nurse Ratched, Ugh! Horror stories... We have to go to work when they go to work and they will grade us just as our instructors have done. Hopefully I get someone decent who doesn't loathe students.

OCT 4th is exam III and Oct 31st is the final exam (WOOT!). It looks as though the month of November is lots of seminars and activities preparing us for graduation and NCLEX. Lots of assignments to turn in, evaluations, etc, etc. Beginning the 21st is Thanksgiving and it looks as though the Monday after the break is our last and final day of anything class related...EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

December 7th and the 14th are the chosen days for our pinning ceremony...final date still pending. SO basically, this semester, my last semester of being a student nurse, will be a total of 3 months. That's a short amount of time and it will be so hectic our heads will spin, but I'm glad...I'm so incredibly glad.

Went to see the movie Knocked Up..it's hilarious....and sweet and sometimes a lil sad. Here's the trailer:

Forbidden Love...

I finished reading The Thorn Birds today and I must say that I think this is the best book I have ever read in my life. 10 stars!!!!!!!!!!! I will try my best to articulate my feelings about this classic and give an accurate synopsis without giving away the whole book.

The book begins:

There is a legend about a bird which just sings once in it's life, more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. From the moment it leaves it's nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one. Then, singing among the savage branches, it impales itself upon the longest, sharpest spine. And, dying, it rises above it's own agony to outcarol the lark and the nightengale. One superlative song, existence the price. But the whole world stills to listen, and God in his heaven smiles. For the best is only bought at the cost of great pain... Or says the legend. (The Thorn Birds, p.1)

From the moment the first page is opened it transports you into another world, a world where faith and love are tested and hard lessons are learned... and not learned. The book centers around the Cleary family, but focuses mostly on seven year old Meggie Cleary, the only daughter amongst a lot of brothers. Born into a poor, Irish sheep shearing family in New Zealand, Meggie is taught right away that she must look after herself and finds that the only person she can really rely on is her oldest brother Frank. Neither mother or father coddle the young girl or show any affection, only Frank, and she clings to him as if he's the only person who will ever love her.

Fast forward 3 years later...the family recieves a letter from their wealthy, wicked Aunt Mary from Australia asking them to move there and learn to man her sheep and tend to her farm. In return, when she dies she will leave them with a life they never could have dreamed before. Mary is old and knows she hasn't much longer to live, but she's also greedy and wants the money to stay in the family once she's dead. They soon leave New Zealand in hope for prosperity and a new future. After a long journey by land and sea they arrive in the Outback, unsure of what their new future holds.

At 10 years old, Meggie has never seen such a place. Going from New Zealand, where the lands are green and the rain is abundant, to the dry, brown landscape of Autralia was a culture shock for all of the family. Meeting them at the train station, is Father Ralph De Bricassart, Aunt Mary's long time confidante and friend. Standing there in the dusty breeze, long black soutane billowing around him, Meggie felt as if she was seeing God in the flesh. She described him as a beautiful man, full of charm and his blue eyes....what kind, warm eyes. Father Ralph is immediately taken with Meggie, just as she is to him. From that very moment of their meeting, a connection of the spirit and soul was made between them and from that moment on it remained. Father Ralph couldn't put a name to his feelings for Meggie, but he immediately felt protective of her and wanted only the best for her. He saw the wisdom in her grey, child-like eyes and they touched a part of him he couldn't understand.

As Meggie grew older Father Ralph was there to help ease her growing pains and be the "father", and sometimes mother, she never really had. Life on Drogheda (their new home) was hard and rought with difficulties, strife, sorrow and heartache and Ralph was there for Meggie through all of her troubles and her family's pain.

As Meggie grew older, their bond strenghtened, changed, evolved into something he or she couldn't control, but had been there all along...stirring, growing, stifled. Their love was born from the soul, it couldn't be denied, smothered or ignored, not matter who stood in the way...God or man. With that comes the story of forbidden love and human nature that drives us all. Many think that hate is like a cancer that can eat away at you until there is nothing left. But love, a love that cannot be materialized for worldly or material reasons can also eat away at one's soul. This story depicts that fine line between love and hate and demonstrates the rot of the soul that not only comes from ambition, greed and hate, but also from an intense love that is plucked away, never allowed to bloom again.

Father Ralph and Meggie's love for one another is so palpable and heartbreaking. Loving what you cannot have, having what you do not want. Decades of longing, yearning, unable to express their feelings because he is married to the church and God(faithfully) and she must face it to move on. But does one ever move on? How can one move on when a part of your soul rests in another human being? Yes, they do get the chance to express their fleshly desires, their untamed love, but at what price? Selling your soul to the devil? Forsaking God Almighty? What price does one pay when such a vow is broken? Well, you get to find out if you read the book. ;-)

This isn't just a story of a priest and his undying love of a woman...this is a saga that spans across 54 years of a family and their struggles, their sorrows and their loss. It's a story of revenge, jealousy, faith, will, love, life, death, ambition and the cost of one's heart and soul. It's a poetic masterpiece the way Colleen McCullough described the landscape, the inner strife and the emotions of the human condition. From New Zealand to Australia. From Australia to Rome. From Rome to Greece...it's a beautful book. I highly recommend it and personally think that everyone should read it in their lifetime.

Next I am going to watch the mini-series. I have to now damnit! I can't stop thinking of this book and the emotions it brought out in me. It had better be good and it looks as though it might be. I found this little snippet on ...where else? You tube.

Summer reads

Just started reading: The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCoullough
I know this was a mini-series or movie before, but I didn't watch. I will let you know how good it is. I hear it's considered a classic. We will see.

Since this post is about books I thought I'd compile a list of my favorites of all time, and if you aren't reading...you should start. You don't know what you're missing....

Not in any particular order:
-Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (beautiful and rich)
-Night by Elie Wiesel (leaves you speechless)
-Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (witty, sweet and ahead of it's time)
-The Diary of Anne Frank by Anne Frank (I'll never forget this)
-Almost Heaven by Judith McNaught (heaven of a love story)
-Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (enthralling)(see previous post for review)
-Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (she has a twisted mind)
-Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling (brilliant!)
-East of Eden by John Steinbeck (colorful characters, especially that evil Cathy)
-She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb (relatable to any woman)
-A Million Little Pieces by James Frey (even though we now know he's a fruad and this isn't a memoir, but mostly fiction...it's till worth a read.)


Just finished: Julie Garwood's Ransom. I found this book highly enjoyable, considering it was about 500 pages long. It had romance, mystery and gore all rolled up in one. The setting was the early 1800's and while this book was very complicated and involved I will try to give a short synopsis.
The heroine, Gillian, and her sister Christen were small children when King John's (of England) men took over their village and their home. Before the siege, their father gave the oldest (age 7) sister ,Christen, a jeweled box and told her to hide it and not tell anyone that she had it b/c he wanted to get it to King John unharmed. Apparently this box held many secrets and was tied to King John's dead lover Arianna. Confused yet? Anyway... their father was killed when their home was overtaken and the girls were separated in the chaos. Fast forward 20 years later...Gillian was raised by her kind uncle all this time, but was taken hostage by the evil man Alford, the same man who had taken over her childhood home. He wanted that box before the king could get it and thought she or her sister had it. Gillian had no idea about where the box or her sister was, but Alford had an idea that Christen was hiding in the highlands of Scotland. In his plot to steal this box, he not only captured her (Gillian), but also a little boy...one of the highlander's sons to hold captive as ransom to get her sister Christen to return this priceless box. He enlisted Gillian to find her sister, get the box and return it to him by a certain time or the little boy and her uncle were going to be killed.
Bored yet? Ha ha!
So, Gillian being as cunning as she was escaped with the boy on her search to find her sister and to get the box back so her uncle would be safe. Because Gillian saved this young boy (Alec) the highlander's decided to let the "evil" English woman in their territory to search for her long lost sister to save their dear Uncle Morgan. This is where Gillian met Brodick..also known as Laird Sinclair. Rugged, handsome (ofcourse), arrogant (ofcourse) etc, etcetera. Brodick vows to help Gillian b/s she saved her friend's child from death and the romance between the two ensues and brings up all kinds of obstacles and challenges for both of them. And that's all I'm going to say about that. This book has much more than what I gave away. It's really a journey through time that relies on loyalty, love, betrayal, passion and intrigue. I give it 4 and a half stars, b/c it kept me entertained and I couldn't put it down to find out what happened from one page to the next. Does Gillian find her sister in time? Does her sister have the box? Does Gillian and Brodick live happily ever after in the highlands? Does she save her home and get justice? I guess you'll just have to read it and see..... (enter sinister laugh here).

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

Awwwww...




WTF?

John Travolta's Crib...eh, not too bad.

Wouldn't want to change that lightbulb...





Find The Baby:

When I Grow Up...

I started my online music class today. It's going to be soooo cake. (No offense to any music aficionados out there!) For the first assignment I had to listen to Handel's Conqu'ring Hero Comes and break it down into blocks and describe the composition. Um....alrighty. First of all, it gave step-by-step instructions so it took me about 10 minutes to do. Anyhow, I already completed the rest of the week's assignments. Yay me! This is a "go at your own pace" course and it was described that as long as assignments were up-to-date by midterm then we'd be ok. SO if this is the case I would like to do all of the assignments this weekend and not worry about it for a while......maybe. ;-) Heh.

A friend of mine is getting fertility treatments and has asked me to give her IM (intermuscular) injections to her. I already gave one, it was fun. I know this isn't a big deal, but when you aren't in clinical you jump at the chance to do anything "nursey". During clinical I would average about 5-10 injections a day...no big deal, now I'm itching to get to stick one really long 18 gauge in someone's arse. Let me at em! I'm a freak.

I think I've decided what I want to be when I grow up. An OB Nurse. I have contemplated this for a while and every time I imagine myself in my role as a nurse that is what I picture. Me with lots of screaming, crying, wrinkly, cute ass babies, oh and their mothers too of course. :-) I don't believe I have ever pictured anything else. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but it did. I have had 4 children, well 3 deliveries, but 4 kids nontheless. Everytime I had a baby (or two) I remember those nurses. I remember their compassion, their concern, their helping hands in my time of need. I want to be that person for my patients. I want to be there because I know what it's like and how vulnerable, scary and joyous that time is. It's a very emotional time. Everytime I had one of my sons I cried, and everytime I remember seeing some tears in their eyes too. To be there at the beginning, or the unfotunate end, of someone's precious life would be a very special gift.

I realize that OB nursing isn't all fun and joy. I also like the aspect of the nursing care as well. Caring for two lives instead of just one presents an enormous challenge and responsability and I love that. I also love that at any moment a mom can go into surgery (not that I want that to happen obviously), but to have the opportunity to scrub in would be pretty cool as well. I just like it, and it's the reason I even wanted to be a nurse in the first place, so I don't know why I ever considered anything else. Obviously this isnt' a sure thing. Nothing in life is, but if I had my first choice it would be OB.

OB Pro: Observing the miracle of life. Yay!
OB Con: Va-jay-jay's all day long. Nay!

We'll see...

Oops I did it again!

I did it again. I'm sorry. I just couldn't take the ugliness anymore! I had screwed up my page so bad and hadn't really had the time to fix it, then I realized I didn't even like it. It was too.....bubbly...or something. My cute little nurse smiley was looking a little sketchy lately so I gave her some time off. Anyway...now I have a fairy. I guess I should change the blog title to My Journey as a Fairy. Maybe not. Anyway, I like fairies and it's pretty, so for now it will be fairies. Next week...who knows...could be something as random as toast. Maybe I'll just change it monthly and let my 7 visitors decide which they like best. Ha! I kid, I have about 9 regulars, not 7 geez! What do you all think I am...a loser?

I'm up late. Who cares...I don't have school tomorrow. Ne ne nah nah boo boo. I decided after much contemplation I like HTML...it's fun.
If you want to change your blog's look visit here: www.tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com It's as easy as 1-2-3...sort of.

p.s. how do you like my header with the scroll font? I made that myself. Weeeeeeeee!

I had a dream....

I had this dream lastight that everything I ever wanted slipped right through my fingers and I couldn't grasp it. I wanted to and it was there....waiting, but I couldn't reach. Then it was gone. Dissapeared. When I woke up to the sunrise I felt like I had went on a journey through time and space. It left me wondering....

As you get older, life and the people in your life take on a new priority. This is the beauty and the ugliness of the stages of life. When you'e a kid you think nothing can harm you. At a young age we played in the dirt, swam in lakes and didn't for once think about getting any nasty parasites. Our idea of fun was a campfire with graham crackers and chocolate. Tents in the backyard, sandboxes, big wheels....DISNEYLAND!

My friends and I rode our bikes all over town when we were 12...at dark GASP! We spoke to strangers..oh my! We smoked cigarettes behind the garage, snuck boys into the house when our parents weren't home, and occasionally induldged in a little underage comsumption. Well, probably more than occasionally. At 16 we had a new found freedom...the 1st vehicle. We drove to places our parents didn't know about...like big cities for concerts that certainly wouldn't be approved by the folks. We attended crazy ass parties that would make our parents lock us away forever.... if they only knew. Hauled all of our friends around....without seatbelts! Walked through wooded parks at night for fun, not even worrying about the boogyman.

At 18 we began making our 1st real life decisions. Some of us went to college, some moved out of their parent's house for the first time, some moved out of town completely in hopes of 'finding themselves.' Some stayed right were they are and that's where they remain. Many mistakes were made, many things happened leaving you feeling that sense of regret that only your heart knows about. This is the time when you really start to learn who you are going to become independant of your lineage.

21...ahhh we discovered the bar scene. Complete with making a fool of yourself and learning time and time again that the cold toilet bowl doesn't make a great pillow. Some of us woke up wondering what we did the night before because we got a little too liberal with the spirits...but not me, I'd never do that. (wink)

We fell in love, we had our hearts broken, we fell in love, we had our hearts broken. Tears, smiles, hello's and goodbyes. We have old battle scars that are seen and unseen. Many wounds, many accomplishments, many failures...oh what a time all of that was.

Now that I'm 31, life looks so different. I have a family, new responsabilities and new worries. Not that I don't like this stage, but I sometimes wonder how I got here. When did I go from being reckless, young and full of life, to being guarded, careful and mindful to make the right decisions? Damn...being wise isn't always that fun. Actually, I always felt as though I was an old soul. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that I didn't grow up totally oblivious to life and it's consequences. I had lost my father at 14. I had my first baby at 18 (the summer after graduation). Gained friends, lost friends. Had my heart broken more times than I'd like to remember. You get the idea. I guess you could say that I had a lot of hardships in my life, but without them I wouldn't be who I am today, as the cliche goes. It's so true though. Many people say they don't have regrets and I'd like to think I don't, but I do...have a few.

My oldest son is now 13 and I feel as though I'm just now becoming an adult. "I'm not ready for this". I keep telling myself. My mom was right, "you will get this back" and believe me, I am. Being the parent of a teen is no joke. My son's personality has changed ten fold and I went from being super cool mom, to super stupid mom in a matter of months. I can't help but think back to the days when I was 13. Trampsing around town like I knew everything and thinking my parents were fools. All of this eye rolling, door slamming, sarcastic comment lashing is throwing me for a loop. Teenage angst! I know this well, because it wasn't too long ago that I was doing these exact things. Sometimes when he looks at me as if he wished I'd crawl in a hole, I get a chill because I know exactly what he's thinking. He'll argue this ofcourse, because 'I'm old and couldn't possibly know what's going on in the mind of a 13 year old.' Sigh.

I often wonder and worry how I should handle his new stage in life, just as I'm learning how to deal with my own new stage. If only there were a manuel on how to raise a little asshole. BUT, being as there isn't, I'll just have to reflect on myself as I, too, was once a little asshole. (smirk) I remember at 13 thinking my mom was so old. I'm 31, not that old, and I wish I hadn't thought of my parents that way. Retrospect is a bitch. Karma.

If we could go back again knowing what we know now, what would we do differently? I know I would do many things different, which is why the parents are always at a cross roads with their children. We want them to have what we didn't. We want them to make the right decisions, not be so careless and to grow with the knowledge and confidence that we lacked. Thus, the cycle of life. Now that I know a thing or two (maybe) I would like to tell my children to follow their hearts. Don't settle. Always love yourself first so that you may love others the way they deserve. Listen to your instincts and watch for signs. They are all around you, you just have to open yourself up to them. I once asked God for a sign, as we all have done before. He gave me the sign loud and clear and I still doubted it. How foolish can one be?

As you get older you learn to appriciate the good things and not so much the trivial. Now that I am at that stage I want to live life to it's fullest. Being in healthcare really opens your eyes to what can happen. There are no guarantees in life. It doesn't always turn out the way you plan or the way you think it should. Doors close, others open and I want for my children to take every open door and run through it. Don't hesitate. Don't stand at the open door wondering....GO! Life is so short. I guess this is where I want them to be unlike me.

Being in your 30's does not in any way mean that life is over. I still have a lot more to learn and a lot more life to live. But now, I will live my life in a way that I leave myself to never regret. With knowledge comes new responsability. When you know better, you do better. We can't go backward, but what we can do is go forward. Let those you love know this before it's too late. Don't let the opportunity slip through your fingers. Grab hold of life and never let go.

Christy

Oh Realllllly?? Hmm....

Well, it's official. Rosie has left The View early and ABC went ahead and released from her contract. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think she should have finished her contract and tried to resolve things before leaving, but I guess sometimes some things are better left unsaid. I'm kinda shocked by the whole thing....

Onto other things... Keith and I watched the movie Premonition (Sandy Bullock and Jullian McMahon) tonight. If you haven't seen it, you should. It's the kind of movie that makes you think REALLY HARD. I still have questions and maybe if I watched it again I'd understand, but it definately left me with that feeling of Whoa! It's all about fate and the age old question...can you change it? Sandra/Linda wakes up one morning takes her kids to school, comes home and is alerted by the sheriff that her husband was in a car accident and is dead. The next day she wakes up and he's alive eating breakfast in the kitchen as if nothing ever happened. This movie plays with your mind, as it's playing with Linda's. You go through this exploration with her to find out why every other day her husband is either alive or dead. Sounds kinda kooky and it is, but it was good and I can't stop thinking about it.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Things got really ugly on The View today. I found it really uncomfortable to watch and the entire thing should have been done off camera because it went from political to a personal debate. Entertaining nonetheless. If you haven't seen it, then check it out here:

Eewww...friend fights suck. Have you ever gotten into a bad fight with a friend? I have once and I hated it, but we got over it the next day and are still friends. You can't do that with many men...that's for sure. HA!

I don't know if anyone watched the actual show but after they went on their commercial break Alicia Silverstone came out as a guest and totally walked by Elizabeth and dissed her so bad! It was kinda funny, and kinda mean. Elizabeth was PISSED! ICKY!

Does anyone watch House? I haven't ever watched, but I hear it's a really good show. Let me know what you think b/c I'm thinking of starting from the beginning if it's worth it.

OH! I almost forgot...American Idol. I watched the finale tonight and thought it was good. All the guest stars and such. I suppose I'm glad Jordan won, but like I said before, I just couldn't get into it this season. I hope next season is better. This season was boring for me. I don't know why.

p.s. Gina...what's a meme? :-)

The Bachelor Season Finale

Well, I just finished watching....thanks DVR! I have a lot to say about this finale show. From the beginning, Tessa was my favorite. I thought she was there for the right reasons and not because she wanted to 'win' a game show. I also thought that Andy was there for the right reasons and not because he wanted to be in a reality show. Having said that, I am happy he chose Tessa. HOWEVER...I don't know why they have to edit the show always in the favor of the 'unchosen one' to throw off the viewers. Maybe it adds shock value, but then the audience is kind of dissapointed because the producers have seduced them into believing he is swaying the other way. So basically, it leaves one dissapointed because we watched a romance unfold that may or may not have been completely authentic. I would much rather have seen Andy and Tessa and their most romantic moments and all the things combined that led to falling in love and having him ultimately asking her to marry him. That's huge and for them to leave us out of the loop that way is just mean damnit!

Onto the episode... Bevin started growing on me in the last couple of episodes, although I did feel she came on a bit strong. This episode I thought Andy was reciprocating those feelings and that made me think that THEY were in love. I mean, he did say..."I'm sooo in love" and "I love you" to Bevin, then he turns around and says the same things to Tessa!? Er...ok. The look on his face when Bevin told him she loved him was priceless, he really looked like he was in drunk love with her. Maybe he was, and I believe he very well may have been. What chose him to chose Tessa over someone he kept reiterating that he had these 'electric' feelings with? Maybe it was her religion, the fact that she had been married before, her nose. I don't know, but he had his reasons and there is a lot that we didn't get to see, so were left to be happy for him...I guess.

When she stepped out of that limo I felt her vulnerable emotions. I did. And when he told her that he had a stronger love connection with Tessa I kind of felt as though I too, had been punched in the gut. She looked as thought she was going to stop breathing....sigh. Haven't we all felt that way before? It makes you want to vomit. Ugh...she couldn't even say a word. Not one single syllable she was so heartbroken. And what could she say? Sometimes saying nothing says everything and in this case it said a lot. Hell, I think Andy's heart was broken too and his rejecting her was mor emotional than him asking Tessa to be his wife forever and eternity. Is that how it's suppose to be? I hope he didn't make a mistake, regarless of how I felt about who he should choose. Who are we to decide anyway? You could tell it was a very difficult decision for him. So sad.

The proposal. It was sweet, but I was waiting for Tess to drop to her knees and cry her little eyes out...but she didn't. I would have just at the site of that ring. YOWSA! Ha! Seriously, if the love of your life looks at you and asks you to be his forever...wouldn't you want to just weap with joy. I would have. Maybe this is all 'edited' again...whatever.

Tomorrow night is the After The Final Rose thing. I hope Bevin isn't there, she should just go find her someone who can care for her and leave this behind her. I think seeing them together will only be like a MILLION KNIVES STABBING HER IN HER FRACTURED HEART. Could you imagine? And on national tv? No thanks.

How to become a nurse....

You know you're a nursing student when: You find yourself studying while on summer break! We can now add this to my list.

I found myself surfing through my NCLEX books lastnight answering questions. What is wrong with me? I also read a few pages of OB material...I guess it takes a while for the anxiety to fade. I feel as though I should be doing something, reading something, learning something. I'm definately not use to enjoying myself. A part of me wants so bad to open up a book and get a head start on OB and Peds. Another part of me says that I really need to stop thinking like that, because I deserve this time off. THEN I start to think that if I did infact get a head start it will be much easier on me next semester. Sigh. I MUST STOP THIS MADNESS!

3rd semester really did a number on my psyche. I was taught that there is no such thing as a 'break' and that if I slacked for one moment it could all go downhill, so I never let that happen. I am afraid of failure. One failure can mean hanging on by your nails and I never wanted to feel like at any moment I could take the dreaded plunge. That fear is what kept me climbing and reaching for, what sometimes seemed like, impossible feats. Of course, looking back now I realized I was entirely too hard on myself. I guess I could have given myself some kind of breaks, but I didn't.

Many of you who aren't in nursing school or aren't even affiliated with nursing in any capacity may fail to understand. I do not exaggerate and make up stories to make myself appear smarter than the average bear. Nursing school is an entirely other entity than any other curriculum. I have spoken to a lot of people who don't even understand (mom) how to get the degree so I will break it down for you. And no, this isn't because I am assuming you are stupid, it's because I have had MANY ask so I will clear it all up now.... There is a heiarchy in healthcare.

In the 'nursing' spectrum it usually begins with the CNA (certified nursing assistant), their typical duties include basic healthcare needs such as: feeding, changing, bathing, comforting the pt, helping them dress, meeting their needs etc... They are some of the hardest working people in the universe. I know this because I was once a CNA for a very short period of time and it is ruthless and most of the time, unfortunately, thankless. In order to become a nurse (RN,LPN,CRNP etc...) you must first get a CNA liscense(at least in my state anyway)and we have to maintain it throughout nursing school. It takes a few months to obtain if you are going the school route. So as you are working toward your goal as a nurse you are certified in basic care and are also CPR certified. The average pay in my area is around $6-10 an hour. (They should be paid much more IMO).

The next step is an LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). AN LPN has a much broader scope of practice than a CNA. I'm not exactly certain of all the new changes to their scope of practice, but I know they are allowed to give most meds and do most procedures, but there are certain medications they are not allowed to IVP (IV push). Please correct me if I am wrong, but this is my understanding. Just like the CNA, LPN's work under the supervision of a registered nurse. An LPN nor CNA can't do any job that is out of their scope of practice and if they do this blame usually falls on the RN. (Scary) I believe the education time for an LPN (also called an LVN) is a year and a half (plus pre-req's- so about 2-3yrs). The difference between and LPN and an RN education wise is that the RN's education is more extensive. Once someone is an LPN and they pass their state boards (which is different from the RN boards) and LPN can then, if they choose to, bridge over to become an RN. Basically meaning that they can take a couple of extra semesters starting in the middle of the RN program and become an RN (after they pass the NCLEX-RN that is). The avereage pay for an LPN in my area is anywhere from $12-$14 and hour.

The RN...here is where it gets tricky. There are two different types of RN programs: 1) ADN (associate's degree nurse) and 2)BSN (bachelor's degree nurse). Here is where many get confused. Both programs have the exact same state board exam, there is NO DIFFERENCE! Once you take the NCLEX-RN, whether you have a bachelor's or an associates and you pass you are a registered nurse. As my instructor had told me, the ADN is a crammed up version of the BSN. The only difference is that if you eventually want to teach (need your MSN-master's) or go into other avenues of nursing (there are tons) then a BSN is the road to lead you there. There is no difference in pay between a nurse who has a ADN and a BSN. Not even a dollar (in most cases. MSN is a different story). The exceptions are that some people have senoirity etc at their workplace. The avereage pay for an new graduate RN in my area is anywhere from $18-$25/hr (not including nurses who have been at their jobs for a long time). There are also differentials such as night shift and weekend pay and a new nurse can make upwards of 28 dollars an hour. It is much higher in the bigger and more populated areas.

Here is another thing I want to clear up....many have asked me what specialty I am doing 'schooling for'. I'm not in any specialty right now. In nursing school you learn (almost) EVERY specialty area so that you have a broad spectrum of knowledge. We are taught, legal issues, eithics, Cardio, Respiratory, GI, Renal, OB, Peds, Psych, Immune, Endocrine, Integument, Neuro, Cancer, Ortho and on and on. Within those catagories we learn meds asscoc with the diseases and their side effects and how they work in the body, physiology, pathology, signs, symptoms, treatments, judgement, nursing care, nursing diagnosis etc... We area also taugh skills to coincide with our profession such as feeding tubes, catheterization, injections, IV's, calculations, sterile dressings, nasogastric tubes, intubation etc... Once you graduate you can (most of the time) get a job in a specialty of your choice and are trained in that area on the floor.

With every program you have to complete clinicals. On top of the studying, the skills, your family and friends you also have to got to the hospital once or twice a week and complete about 10 hours a day clinical time. Usually clinical coincides with what you're learning at the time so you can put what you've learned into action. You are graded on your performance, usually by pass or fail, and are under the supervision of one of yor clinical instructors. There is a strict dresscode (ugh) and behavior that you're upheld to during this professional training.

If you decide to go the ADN route please don't assume it's just a 2 year program. Before you can even be considered for admittance you must complete pre-requisites like any other degree. Science, math, english etc. I went full time (including summers) and haven't stopped and by the time I graduate it will have take me 3.5 years to obtain an associates degree in nursing. So they may as well give me my bachelor's and let me be on my way-HA! Joke. The admittance process for nursing school is gruelling. Competition is fierce and I've seen grown women cry their eyes out because they were rejected. It isn't pretty. First of all you have to have a pretty good GPA for them to even look at you (especially in the sciences). You have to meet certain ACT and SAT requirements and the score varies for most schools. In mine I believe it had to be a 20 for the ACT. In many schools they require an interview process where they make selections. Many schools have a lottery system where names eligable are drawn at random (that stinks). A lot of schools have a 1-3 year waiting list. Many schools, like mine, base admittance on a points system. You're given so many points for you ACT score over 20, x amt of points for your GPA, x amt of points for science classes completed and so forth. The higher the points the better your chances. All schools are different and it's best you check with them on their policies. So, in other words...you have to work you tail off to compete with people and getting accepted is a big deal and a big accomplishment.

Once you're actually in nursing school you have to continue to meet a certain standard to stay in the program. I will use my school's policies for examples: Each semester you must have a 78% (C) or better to stay in. If you make a 77.9% they do not care and will not round up. In nursing school, maintaining a C avereage is really good because the exams are so hard and really push your knowledge to the limit. At my school all you classes are in one big class. Ex: we are taught and tested over everything at once. Whereas, many schools have different classes (patho, pharm etc...) for each subject and are tested individually. Each skill that you are performing is in front if an instructor and one slip or one cross of your sterile field and you fail. You can only skill twice. If you fail the second time you're out of the program and must reapply for the semester all over again. Same goes for the calculations/math exams. We also have 4-5 ATI exams per semester we're required to pass according to the state board of nursing. It judges whether we are meeting the standard curriculum guidelines and it fares how well we're being prepared for NCLEX. We have regular exams every other week and on top of that you have clinicals, care plans, drug cards, bibliography cards, group projects, school/community projects, sometimes other classes, extra credit assignments, reading assignments, nasty (and nice) instructors and skills to worry about. If you miss an exam you must wait unti the end of the semester to re-test.

I have had so many people say to me..."it can't be that bad". That is when I look at them and bite my tongue, because my mom always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. LOL SO, I hope this sums up some of what it takes to be a nurse. I wanted to put this down so that other people can see that it isn't just a black and white career. It is challenging, worthwhile, technical, fun, heartbreaking, backbreaking, and most of all rewarding career. I am sick and tired of nurses, of every kind, not getting the respect they deserve. In order to stop this, the public needs to be more educated. There's my opinion. :-)

p.s. Looking forward to The Bachelor tonight. (He he he)

NCLEX - EEK!

Why do I read this malarchy? http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=262684>1=7703
You mean to actually tell me that this made the NEWS??? For heaven's sake. Give little Homer his stuffed animals and his damn PB&J and shut the hell up! Why is it that in Hollywood once one person becomes more successful than the other in a relationship they seem to split? Where are those old fashioned values? Doesn't any of these people ever listen to Tammy Wynette? Stand By Your Man. Geez. I guess it's all about Women's Lib. She didn't worry much about the lib part when she was down and out and found roaming the desert talking about aliens and shit did she? I can't believe I'm even mentioning this on my blog.

Moving on.... I was surfing on www.allnurses.com today...before I elaborate...isn't that the best site ever? And I was reading about the NCLEX. Can you say PANIC? As I was reading I started to sweat and then I had to run to the bathroom, because apparently my PNS had kicked in. (Did I just say that?) I started reading about so and so reviewed with Kaplan, some Saunders, some Mosby's and I just felt like I was on info overload. I know the NCLEX (nursing state boards) is a long way off, but I thought I'd get a head start and all I got was a headACHE. They say that no matter how many questions you get (60,75,82,265 etc..) it doesn't determine whether you pass or fail. If I'm going to fail, I'd rather just have the 75. That way I won't have to spend an extra couple of hours with tachycardia, tachypnea and panic level anxiety. I was reading about the computer adaptive test and only somewhat understand it. What I do know is that if you answer a question right it will continue to give you harder questions until you get one wrong and then it adjusts and gives you easier ones. So basically, the harder and crappier the test is for you the better? 'They say' that you should walk away thinking it was the hardest test of your life and this is suppose to be a good sign. Hmm...alrighty. I'm scared now, so thanks all you scary people. I think every nursing test I take is some of the hasrdest. It seems to only get worse as you go along and so far so good so does that mean I am more prepared for the NCLEX? Ha! Let me just say this....if I don't pass this test on the first try I will be devastated, heartbroken, embarrassed, fearful and downright ashamed of myself. How can you go into the 2nd test feeling confident if you failed the first one? Ugh. I feel for those people, as those people could be me. You never know. The magnitude of it all is just too much. Spending more than 3 years preparing for that moment, that day of the state boards. What a burden, what a nightmare. I hope I'm prepared. Most of what I read was that a lot of people had many prioritizing questions and they said that ABC's didn't help in those questions. I need to brush up on that for sure. I read that a lot of ppl had delegation etc... I guess I should also refresh myself on LPN, CNA scopes of practice as of right now it's a lil foggy.

p.s. went to see Shrek 3 tonight. Don't waste your money, I never even laughed outloud, although it is cute. Wait for the DVD. On the upside, my 4 year old Aidan got to see his "big movie" for the first time and just watching his face made my night. He kept telling me "Shhh Mommy, we gotta be quiet." So cute!

p.s.s. my husband wanted me to clarify about the PNS thing. He thought I misspelled PMS....I wasn't talking about PMS. Although, I do have that at times too, I was speaking in regards to the peripheral nervous system and the effects it has on your bowels. Now...have I embarassed myself enough yet?

Here's a vid to cheer us all up. It's full of happiness and light: (tee hee hee)

I Hate Cliffhangers More Than I Hate Cliffhangers With Axes In Their Heads!

What a cliffhanger. I am still speechless after watching that episode. It was pretty emotional huh? First off....OMG!!!!!!! George. Our little George. That can't have happened. He didn't fail, it was a mistake....wait, you know....I bet the scantron was scanned wrong. Yeah, that's it, George's scantron was messed up, that's all. No big deal, they'll just go back and re-scan it or whatever. Ofcourse. George will then come back and be a resident or attending, or whatever they are now and all will be right with the world again. And Dr Burke...he isn't really gone for good or anything. I know I said after all those crappy and horrible things he said he should leave, but...really? He's gone? Took his sax and his grandmama's photograph too? Damn. I was brought to tears when I heard his vows and I really bawled like a baby when Cristina realized it was really, really over. Iz, she poured her heart out and wore it on her sleeve, but I'm afraid she'll be hung out to dry. I mean, Callie and him are going to have a baby because he's COMING BACK RIGHT? If he doesn't I'll be so pissed I will personally write him and tell him just how mad I am. I mean it, I will!

Damn, I have so many questions and I'm really preturbed that none of these questions will be answered for several months. Do you know how aggrivating that is?!!! ARG! Like I said...I hate cliffhangers and speaking of, couldn't we have cut out that whole cliffhanger, axe in the head storyline altogether? We have more important things to discuss than saving lives. Geez, don't these people recognize?

At the end...that chick said her name was Grey. Is that in GREY...Merideth Grey's sister? The one who McDreamy flirted with and threw in Mer's face to make her jealous/intimidated/open her squinty little eyes about? Well, I'll be! I don't want her skanky butt on the show. Not only did Burke leave, but is that the end of Addison too? WHO ELSE WANTS TO LEAVE THE DAMN SHOW? ANY TAKERS? Speak now or forever hold you peace goshdangit!

SO did Mer actually walk away from Derick after all of that "Pick me, Choose Me" bs? What's her deal man? I thought she loved him? Maybe she's gay. You saw the way she was holding onto Christina right? I kid. But what's wrong with that woman? Can't she make up her damn dark and twisty mind? She won't like it too much when her sis runs into McDreamy and here we go again with all the mellodrama that is Grey's Anatomy.....sigh.

Poor Alex...he didn't recognize until it was too late. Oh well, who thought he ever would anyway? I felt so sorry for little Rebecca(?)/Ava with all of her heartfelt tears. All she wanted was a "Stay" an "I'll take care of you and the baby" "You're the woman for me", but NOPE! He wasn't havin' any of that. It is what it is I suppose.

Chief: First of all....after all that crap that Derrick talked about wanting to be chief and then he threw in the towel? Why is everyone so wishy-washy? Just make a decision and stick with it people! I felt so bad for Adelle and Richard. They are a sweet couple and I'm glad they're back together. The Chief needs her and she needs him. Bless their hearts. :-(

Bailey: WHy the hell didn't she get Chief Resident? She deserved that over Callie for sure. That's just tomfoolery right there. That scene with her and George tugged at my heart strings...why oh why was she passed over?

Yes, this was a good episode. If it wasn't I wouldn't be ranting and raving like some crazy person, but why leave us hangin' like that? That's just cold and really, really wrong. I need to know. I need spoilers, I need, I need....to calm down and remember this is a tv show. That's it. (Insert me doing deep breathing excercises here). Before I completely calm down though, I need to head over to the message boards and see if anyone else feels the way I do.
Peace!

p.s. just went over to the abc message board. Those people are scary. Venture at your own risk!

All good things must come to an end...

Tonight is the season finale of Grey's. (Insert sad face here). All of my favorite shows are coming to an end. Grey's, The sopranos and whatever else. Does anyone watch the Soprano's? Can you believe what Tony did to Chrissy? He held his nose shut and killed him. At first I thought it was a mercy killing because he was spitting up blood from the car wreck and he knew he may die anyway, then I thought....he wanted to kill him! He said he felt 'relieved'. Tony is paranoid as hell, but I guess he has every reason to be. Everyone could be a rat at this point. Ruthless. Then Tony goes to Vegas and screws that girl and they do paoti or mushrooms or something and he ends up in the desert hallucinating and what not. It just pisses me off that he does all of this to Carmella, the lady that has always been there for him when he's down and can't care for himself. What a schmuck! At the same time, you still kind of like the guy. It's a love/hate relationship for the viewers. I think Tony is going to get busted and the season will end with him being in prison. I hope in the finale Carmella leaves his ass once and for all. That is if she doesn't get whacked first. It seems like everyone is fair game. Just look at what happened to Adrianna. That scene was so hard to watch. At first when she got in the car with Silvio and I don't think she knew he was going to kill her. Then when he started driving in the woods she knew and she started panicking. She was crawling on her hands and knees for goodness sake when he shot her. Bejeezus.

I discovered a new show on the (no pun) Discovery channel that I absolutly love. It's called Deadliest Catch and it's about these fleets of crab fisherman who brave the Bering Sea in Alaska during crab season. Aside from being in the military right now, it's the deadliest, most shitty job on the planet. I will forever eat my crab with much more care and gratitude after watching this show, because you get to see first hand just how dangerous it is to catch the crab. I had no idea. These men are gone for sometimes weeks at a time in the icy cold and deadly sea braving the worst weather and waves imaginable. Many men have died while out to sea, which I guess is why they chose to make a movie about it. Remember The Perfect Storm? But, I think they were fishing for swordfish, I dunno. They say you only last a couple of minutes in the sea before you die, so time is of the essence if a man goes overboard. Anyway, it's fascinating and watching them get blasted time after time makes you curl up under your warm blanket and thank the good Lord you're able to watch and not be a part of it. I guess the appeal to them is the money. The deckhands usually walk away with on average $30,000 a piece for hours to weeks work. Many of the fleets are family run and fishing has been in the family for decades. I guess that's all they know. You get to know these men and wish for them a big catch and that they stay safe. You should watch, it's a good show. Ok, there's my plug. Ha!

I'll post again after I watch tonight's Grey's. It had better be good damnit! It's going to stink having to wait months before the new season starts again. I hate endings...

Deja Vu is Trippy and some other Miscellaneous Drivel

I have been so use to doing so much of something, that since school has let out all I want to do is a whole bunch of nothing. I feel like a lazy ass. Maybe I'm just not back in the groove of being my normal self. What is my normal self anyway? I've been so disciplined and programmed to THINK, THINK, THINK and RETAIN, RETAIN, RETAIN that my brain is rejecting tedium. I was sitting on my front porch swing the other day watching the kids play, listening to the birds chirp and enjoying the summer breeze when a thought occured to me. "I'm bored out of my friggin' mind." Since when have I had the time to be bored? Then a slow smile crept across my face as I had a second thought..."And I'm lovin' every minute of it."

Sometimes just sitting with your thoughts and going through the motions is a good thing. No one should ever become to complacent and conditioned, in one direction or another. My mind and body are trying to adjust to this new way of life, only if it is temporary. I kind of feel jet lagged or culture shocked in a way. Oh well, I'll get over it and soon will settle in nicely to this lovely new freedom.

I have so many plans this summer. I would like to decorate my house, paint, garden, read, spend loads of time with my family and just be. Being is good. There is nothing else I would rather do than be.

Speaking of be...one more semester and then I'll be a nurse. Hey, did you hear that? That's kinda , uh, scary....and exciting. First semester seems like light years ago. I always tell people that going from first semester to third is like going from kindergarten to college. It's a huge leap and I feel I know so much more now that I ever thought I would. I still feel pretty stupid sometimes and even had a nightmare lastnight that I forgot how to do CPR, but overall I feel good.

Speaking of dreams...have you ever had a dream or a nightmare that followed you around all day haunting you like some nagging song playing in your ears all day? Lastnight I had a horrible, horrible dream and it stuck with me all day and I'd really like to forget it. I won't bore you with details, but I will tell you that I needed to do CPR and I panicked and forgot how! Foreshadowing? Let's hope not. Even in my subconcious REM sleep state I was trying to critically think. (I am programmed) The first thing I did was lay the person on the floor. Obviously. Then I yelled for someone to call 911 and then I tried with all of my might to remember how to do CPR. I froze and just stared and panicked and it was horrible and then I woke up in a cold sweat. Ugh. I hate nightmares. I have a friend who loves to analyze dreams and I guess it's cool, but I'm not so sure that Freudian stuff is accurate. Ex: If you dream of snakes, it means you're going to acquire a lump sum of money by mail....or something or other. What does snakes have to do with money? If I dream of snakes it's usually because I'm terrified of them and I've never been rewarded for that by an envelope full of cash. It's a nice thought though.

This isn't exactly in the same topic, but what is Deja Vu exactly? This happens to me all the time and everytime it does it feels like I'm having some freakish mind trip like "Whoa man, I've done this before..." Do you think deja vu is related to our dreams, our subconcious mind? Could it be because we actually have done it before and maybe in some parallel universe we are living the same life over again? (Scary) If it is perhaps related to our dreams then that may mean that we have all of our dreams stored somewhere in our brains and anytime a similar situation occurs it triggers the dream memory compartment of our mind. This theory may be true because where does all of that knowledge and experience of our lives go? Does it leak out in the middle of the night? Does it fade away and is just gone forever and ever? OR Maybe our brain just has a spastic reaction and it's nothing. Who knows, who will ever know? Do I really care? Not really, but it's interesting just the same. That's some heavy stuff right there. Somebody's got some explainin' to do.

Ok, onto much lighter and fun topics because all of this mind talk has caused my brain to hurt. Did anyone catch the Bachelor lastnight? I'm sure I'm in the minority who actually watches this show, but I can't help myself. It was a good episode. Andy took the 3 girls back to his home of Hawaii and they had 3 romatic dates and he dumped one and Tessa and Bevin are left. I, personally like Tessa. She seems more level headed and not as clingy and needy as Bevin. Bevin cries all the time, she comes on kinda strong (which is probably why he likes her) and isn't nearly as attractive as Tessa, IMO. I don't know why I watch this show because I think that no woman should ever fight over a man on national tv, but it's that same thing I hate that keeps me watching. It's like watching a car crash...you can't take your eyes away.

I watched Idol tonight and am bored with it altogether. I am usually into the show, I just haven't watched it much this season. I would like Blake to win with Melinda second, other than that I don't care. I think that Jordan will have a career whether she wins or not. Her voice is beautiful. Did you notice that Blake's song choice tonight is actually one of my vids on my blog (Robin Thicke-When I Get You Alone)? Groovy.

A great blog I've been reading lately is called the Underwear Drawer, the link is under my fav sites. It's very smart and witty. It's about the life of a new anesthesiologist and her gorgeous Dr. husband who live in Manhattan raising their 3 year old son Cal. Kinda sounds like a reality show doesn't it? It's a cool blog, check it out.

I'm so excited for the new and last Harry Potter book to come out in July. I am so boring right? I heard there are some spoilers because someone snagged a copy. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING! If someone told me what will happen I would come very close to causing bodily harm to them. Reading these books for years and trying to untangle the plot has been what has made the series worthwhile and so fantastic. To have all of that ruined because of someone's big mouth would be just plain mean. I've already warned my husband and he saw that evil flash in my eye. I think he got the hint. lol

I hope everyone has a good Wednesday.
Until next time....

"You want me to do WHAT?"

I hope everyone had a happy Mother's Day. I know I did. It came complete with homeade cards, which are my favorite kind, cute little things that my boys made at school and a spa package from my husband. I have hinted for a little while that I wanted a massage, from a professional. Now that I got my wish, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't know how I feel about a stranger rubbing all over my body...my naked body. Aren't you supposed to be naked during a massage? I'm sure they are highly professional and all that, but what do I say to them during the massage? Are you suppose to carry on a conversation or is it ok if you don't speak at all? If you don't speak at all, won't that be a little strange too? "Well, thanks for the rub down, that was great, bye." Do you tip them afterward? I just don't know pamper lingo. I'm not use to pampering in any way. I think I'm just making a big deal of this that shouldn't be made, I mean, c'mon, it isn't a big deal right? And I REALLY WANT A GOOD MASSAGE, but I don't know what to expect. I'm a massage virgin, I can't help it. I also got a facial, a manicure and a pedicure in my package, hopefully I can tolerate the pedicure, I don't like my feet touched....ever. Oi vey! Regardless of all that, I'm really grateful. Hell, I'd be grateful with just the cards, so please don't think I'm a spoiled brat. Well, maybe sometimes, but not about things like this. :-)

So I get a call today from an instructor who informs me that we need to come to class on June 11th for a meeting about the asthma camp we signed up to do in exchange for one clinical day during our 4th (did I mention final?) semester. I sit there on the phone...dumbfounded, shocked and not a peep escaped my lips for what seemed like minutes. I'm sure it was mere seconds, but I thought it was a practical joke. I hung up the phone and was speechless, and I'm never speechless. What? Wait....I thought this was summer break and we are not currently in school am I smoking crack? Did I hallucinate? Did she really just call to tell me we had to come to school...during a break? Seriously? Seriously!!? We have to present our teaching plans and our group projects for their authorization. First of all, this should have been done BEFORE the last day of class. We knew the date of camp, what their expectations are of us and what we're suppose to do....why not talk all this out BEFORE summer break?! I can already see that this semester will be unorganized and chaotic. Now, we have to get in touch with the rest of the group, who are also on their break and make a date when we can meet DURING OUR SUMMER BREAK and work on an assignment! Why do these instructors assume they own us? Do they not think we have lives of our very own, for the first time in a loooooooooooong time? They change the rules, they change the schedule, they change the calendar, but if you ask them to change a test date you'd think you were asking them for the first born. What's with these people? I didn't have a problem with asthma camp, I signed up for it of my own volition, but if I knew it was going to take this much time our of my break, which should be entirely mine, I would have scrapped the idea and did an extra clinical day instead. Yes, I'm being selfish. When it comes to my free time away from assignments and tests and classmates and instructors I'm pretty damn stingy. I have given all of myself and sacrificed so much of my free time for them and I just have trouble giving them anymore, especially when I'm not even in school. Arg! Anyway, there's nothing I can really do about it, but complain and hope that none of them ever read this blog or else I'm in for a rough semester. Maybe I should black out my eyes on my profile so I'm incognito. You know how they do in those magazines and below the photo it reads "What not to wear." You know those people see that photo and think "Oh God. That's me!" How can they not know? How embarassing. I'm getting off track. Ok, enough of that. I got it out and I feel better.

I'm actually excited about the asthma camp part. What's not to love about camp? I'm sure the day will be fun and we'll get a chance to talk to and teach the kids about their asthma and better educate them. I'm all about teaching, that's one of my favorite parts of nursing. Do you know that many diabetics that I talk to don't even really understand their disease? Do you also know that many people who have asthma don't even know the proper way to use their inhaler? That's scary. How can this be possible? Aren't they taught how to use it when it's given to them? Sigh!

Anyhow, this post is boring and I'm sorry. Sometimes I use this blog as my private gripefest that other people may just happen to read. Maybe you'll relate, maybe not. The point is, I feel better. Now, I'm off to watch the Bachelor and may post about it later.
Until next time....

I'm An Oddball

I read somewhere a list that someone composed of their guilty pleasures or things people wouldn't know about them and I thought it was a good idea so I'm going to list some of mine, so you can get to know me better. Here goes....

I secretly love Little House On the Prairie. I've seen every episode and can recite most of them. My favorite is when Laura/Half-Pint Ingalls pushes Nellie/Little Twirp Olsen down the hill in the wheelchair to prove she was faking paralysis. HI-Larious!

Urban Cowboy is one of my favorite movies. (Same as above.) Bud: "You're not ridin' that bull Sissy." Sissy: "I'll rad it if I wont to, and I'll rad it agin and agin." Yes, she says it like that.

Brooks and Dunn are my favorite country artists/singers. I have a weakness for Ronnie Dunn's voice.

I have a huge crush on Snoop Dogg. He should have named himself Cool Cat, because he's the coolest around.

I've watched every episode of Oprah since I was in high school. I've written her a bunch of letters of admiration, but never sent a one. One of my biggest dreams is that one day she'll be on my doorstep surprising me with something huge. We know that won't happen. A girl can dream.

I grew up on a farm. Well, not really a farm, but we had a bunch of horses and we once had some cows and pigs, but they were pets because my mom wouldn't let my dad sell them for food.

I've read over 350 romance novels because I love them so.

Harry Potter is my favorite series of books and no, I'm not ashamed to admit that.

It takes a lot to shock or surprise me, people are strange and I learned that long ago. Thanks Jim.

I've only cried twice in the past year, one began with a laughing fit out of stress (nursing school, go figure) and it turned into sobbing, hysterical madness. The other was when my dog ran away, but he's home now and it's all good.

I've been to see about 6 or 7 Grateful Dead shows when Jerry was alive. (1995~RIP) It was the best times of my life.

I met my husband on the internet. Say it ain't so....it's true. Our first date was at a Dave Matthews Band concert and it was a really bad date (I won't elaborate)....but he grew on me, obviously.

My first kiss was at a church "lock-in" (sinner) and the boy's name was Johan Brun. He was a french foreign exchange student. Yes, my first french kiss was with a french boy.

Gwenyth Paltrow is my favorite actress. I've been told I look like her, I don't see it, but that's not why I like her, she's just damn good.

I wish Willie Nelson was my grandpa.

I believe I was reincarnated from the 60's. I'm really drawn to that era and love a lot of the music.

It's hard to piss me off, unless you lie to or about me, then you can succeed.

I use to love to go out, but now I'd rather stay in.

I love to garden.

I get very upset when my husband leaves his toothbrush on the sink. Actually, this is something that pisses me off. I lied before. :-) One day I will get the courage to hide it, that'll teach him. He he.

I love anything about the paranormal, probably because it scares the shit out of me. Except, I don't like scary movies and after watching the Exorcist, I refuse to watch any of them.

I pick at my hangnails until they bleed. I wish I could stop. I don't bite them though, because that would be gross.

Speaking of....I wash my hands about 50 times a day. I am always driving my family nuts about washing their hands. I don't think anyone's hands are as clean as mine. (OCD?)

I screen all of my calls.

I laugh at the most inappropriate times. Recently, in the middle of a micro test, I read a question that was similar to this: You seed a plate with Escherica coli on a nutrient agar with blood, beef broth and carbohydrates and incubate it for 24 hours in the inoculator and one plate was streaked with Staphylcoccus something or other on MacKaunkey Agar for 48 hours. What would be the end result? A) 4 to the 20th power of a colony infestation b) no results C) the blood and beef broth agar would have 24, 672 colonies.........you get the point.
I thought to myself...why in the hell does this matter? I tried to hard not to laugh. I had no idea what the answer was. Once it started I couldn't stop, then the 2 girls sitting next to me started and it was contagious. The harder I tried, the more I laughed. I had to apologize to my instructor and inform her I wasn't cheating, I just couldn't stop. She was understanding.."stress" she whispered and winked. Sigh!

One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who makes fun of someone more unfortunate than them (mentally challenged etc..). I will rip off your head and cram it down your throat if I witness this. Just sayin'.

I can't stand vomit. I hope none of my patient's never puke on me. I may freak out. I'm sure I will encounter this, I'm mentally preparing myself.

I once pulled out a woman's arterial line and she made this horrible grunting noise. I can't get it out of my head.

I love a good thunderstorm. Something about the shift in the air pressure...it's electric.

I once was involved in a really bad car accident that had me sitting in a court room in front of a 12 person jury in Nashville, Tenn. I was 18 and scared to death.

I hate doing dishes.

I surf myspace and nose around at all the people I know/use to know to see what's going on in their lives now.

I think myspace is stupid.

No, I don't have one.

My dad died when I was 14 years old. It took 2 weeks for it to sink in. Viewing him in the casket was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. Sometimes he comes to me in my dreams, but he never speaks, he only smiles at me. He looks like the version of his younger self, before I was born. I think that's weird considering I don't remember him that way.

I believe in God is all things, not just one thing.

I think Elvis Presley is/was the most beautiful human ever created.

My favorite flowers are orchids and daisy's, but they don't look pretty together.

I don't like red roses.

My favorite scent is lilac and sandlewood, and they don't go well together either.

My favorite song is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, as I'm sure you noticed from my blog. My second fav is Soulshine....that's me.

I think old churches are beautiful.

I'm very nurturing, almost to a fault. People might think I'm weird sometimes.

I'm compassionate and passionate and it's can take over me at times.

My perfect day is on the beach with a margarita and a good book.

The Grey's Anatomy theme song is set as my default ringtone.

I watch Rosie's video blog every morning to start off my day.

The very first tape (they didn't have cd's then) that I bought was Gun's N' Roses Appetite for Destruction and I had to listen to it with earphones on because my mom thought it was the devil's music.

I once put gum in my friend's hair in high school and she didn't know. She was sitting in front of me, I tried to get it out, but couldn't. I was horrified. I still haven't told her it was me. She had to cut her hair. I still feel bad.

I met my very best friend, Heather, in middle school. We were 11 years old. We've been BFF for 20 years now. Wow. (No, this isn't the one with the gum)

My oldest son Skyler (13) is sometimes more mature than I am. He's never been a 'kid'. I gave birth to a crying, incontinent adult.

I've been told I don't smile enough. Who goes around smiling all the time? I want what they're on.

I don't like fake people.

I'm very indecisive.

I love listening to my grandmother's stories of when she was a girl. She's amazing.

I hate homework and studying.

I hate school and I'm glad it's almost over!

I can't believe I'm writing this blog....as if anyone cares what I like or don't like. Anyhow, I'm sure I'll revise this as time goes on.

Grey's

I wanted to post about tonight's Grey's Anatomy while it's still fresh in my mind. First things first, wasn't that a great episode? I felt so bad for Merideth when her father came in and told her not to come to the funeral and that it was all her fault her step-mom was dead. How sad. I could feel her pain, and his. Ouch! Merideth is going to lose Derek if she doesn't start including him in her life. Something about their dynamic has changed and I'm not sure I like it. I also wanted to yell at my tv when she didn't take the test, who does that??? Seriously.

I have a suspision that Bailey will be named Chief, but did she even apply? Maybe I missed that part. All the pregnancy things on the show were kind of cute, except the end where one fainted (not good) and the other hemorraged (really not good). Poor Adelle and poor Richard because he didn't know. I wonder if it was his baby, I bet it was. Adelle just doesn't seem like the type of lady to go and have some casual sex while separated, but I guess we'll find out next week.

Izzy's speech about loving someone you can't be with while making margaritas was pretty sweet and pretty damn stupid. Does she think that Callie is blind or what? And Merideth asking her if she was talking about Denny didn't make the situation any more comfortable. Why would Mer ask that in front of Callie? If she thought she was talking about George, and I'm thinking she wondered, why would she ask her that at that moment? I thought that was weird. Did you see Callie's face? Scary. Izzy better watch out. George is just the cutest thing. Who couldn't fall in love with his sweet puppy dog face?

I wonder if this wedding is going to be pulled off. With all of the ' i'm not certain' undertones of the show I have a pretty good guess someone will not be saying their vows. It will probably be Burke and he'll leave Seattle for good once he finds out he isn't made chief and asta la vista for him.

I'm bummed that next week is the last show for a while. Just when it's getting good again. Will George leave SGH for Mercy West? Will Cristina and Burke get married? Will Derek leave Merideth? Will that Ava girl contact her husband? Who will get Chief? Will George and Callie get a divorce? Arg...so many questions and only one episode....I doubt we'll get the answers we need.

Until next time...