January 7, 2007

You Know You're a Nursing Student When...

Most of these I wrote from my own experience, but some of them I read elsewhere...either way, they are the common denominator among us students. Enjoy!

Your backpack is on wheels because it weighs more than you do

Your arms are toned from pulling your backpack

You can discuss a stage 4 decubitus ulcer over lunch and not think twice about it

You are like a kid at Christmas when you open your lab kit each semester and shriek with delight because you got a foley catheter this term

You have nightmares about your clinical instructor

You have nightmares you forgot to chart your assessment findings and clinical instructor gives you a big fat U!

You are standing next to a gorgeous guy and you think...he has nice veins.

You diagnose yourself with whatever ailment you're studying at the time

You secretly hope that your patient has high blood sugar so you can give an insulin injection

You study until 1:00am and get up at 5:00am to study some more

You can cry in front of your classmates because you've seen them all cry before too (men and women)

You look older than you did a year ago

You live off of coffee and snacks out of the vending machine

When two of the four test answers are correct but you have to pick the most correct answer (hate those)

You can eat breakfast, study for a test and talk on the phone all while driving to school

When Maslow's Hierarchy and Davis's Drug Guide becomes your bible

Your family members only visit if they have an illness

You can spot microscopic germs from a mile away

You check the expiration date of your Tylenol and you never did before

You point out all of the medical mistakes on television shows

You wash your hands before using the bathroom

You subconsciously diagnose everyone in your family

You shout "I'VE GOT BLOOD!" with joy if you get a blood return on an IV stick

You write everything in nursing shorthand

You hear a stranger cough up phlegm and not only do you assess it, but you instruct them to drink plenty of fluids and to turn, cough and deep breath qid

You have more ink pens than Bic, but most of them have drug names on them

You notice every person in a restaurant who is about to choke when no one else does

You mentally prepare the steps you'll take when they actually do choke

You praise Jesus silently when they don't and go back to your meal

You read license plate letters and they become medical abbreviations (HCT=hematocrit, SOB=short of breath, DKA=diabetic ketoacidosis etc...) and you wonder if the driver knows they have this problem. Ha!

Your patients look scared when they see your student nurse badge and that you're holding a needle

You assess your children's urine for color, clarity and smell

You witness someone wash their hands and turn off the faucet without a paper towel and you CRINGE!

Your laundry pile is competing with Mount Everest

You use your pen light to look down drains

When someone tells you how much they weigh and you mentally convert it into kg

You don't ask questions anymore that require yes or no answers, because it wouldn't be 'therapeutic'

You bend down to pick something up and you feel a strain and you shout "I think I pulled my sternocleidomastoid!"

You get excited when your patient has a big BM

Your classmates start to know you better than your own family

You and your classmates fight over who will get to put an NG tube in

You see someone with a blown up 'beer belly' and know they probably have ascites

When a friend tells you they're thirsty you reflexively assess their skin turgor and they yell OUCH!

You look at your paper cut and notice it is scabbing and think to yourself... epithelialization phase.

You forget what it's like to have free time....what's that?

You make a mistake in your lecture notes and you draw a line through it and initial it with the date and time

You let your classmates stick you because they need the practice

When someone complains of numbness and tingling in their feet you automatically wonder if they're diabetic

You get excited when you hear an S3 or S4 in someones rhythm

Your text books and supplies per semester cost more than your mortgage payment

You now know that Lasix and "water pill" are the same thing

Your kids and pets become your guinea pigs

You empty you lab coat and find alcohol pads, saline flushes, tape and gloves in them

Your backpack looks like a garbage can

You open doors with your back

Hearing rhonchi or stridor makes you giddy

And finally....you know you're a student nurse when: You're on a break from school and spend everyday thinking about all the work you'll be doing the next semester instead of enjoying your time off!


C said...

I stumbled across your blog....would love to know if you have any further news...my best friend is just starting school and I'd love to get a flavor of how your post school experience has been. Thanks for the great music,laughs and insight