May 31, 2007

Summer reads

Just started reading: The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCoullough
I know this was a mini-series or movie before, but I didn't watch. I will let you know how good it is. I hear it's considered a classic. We will see.

Since this post is about books I thought I'd compile a list of my favorites of all time, and if you aren't should start. You don't know what you're missing....

Not in any particular order:
-Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (beautiful and rich)
-Night by Elie Wiesel (leaves you speechless)
-Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (witty, sweet and ahead of it's time)
-The Diary of Anne Frank by Anne Frank (I'll never forget this)
-Almost Heaven by Judith McNaught (heaven of a love story)
-Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (enthralling)(see previous post for review)
-Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (she has a twisted mind)
-Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling (brilliant!)
-East of Eden by John Steinbeck (colorful characters, especially that evil Cathy)
-She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb (relatable to any woman)
-A Million Little Pieces by James Frey (even though we now know he's a fruad and this isn't a memoir, but mostly's till worth a read.)

Just finished: Julie Garwood's Ransom. I found this book highly enjoyable, considering it was about 500 pages long. It had romance, mystery and gore all rolled up in one. The setting was the early 1800's and while this book was very complicated and involved I will try to give a short synopsis.
The heroine, Gillian, and her sister Christen were small children when King John's (of England) men took over their village and their home. Before the siege, their father gave the oldest (age 7) sister ,Christen, a jeweled box and told her to hide it and not tell anyone that she had it b/c he wanted to get it to King John unharmed. Apparently this box held many secrets and was tied to King John's dead lover Arianna. Confused yet? Anyway... their father was killed when their home was overtaken and the girls were separated in the chaos. Fast forward 20 years later...Gillian was raised by her kind uncle all this time, but was taken hostage by the evil man Alford, the same man who had taken over her childhood home. He wanted that box before the king could get it and thought she or her sister had it. Gillian had no idea about where the box or her sister was, but Alford had an idea that Christen was hiding in the highlands of Scotland. In his plot to steal this box, he not only captured her (Gillian), but also a little of the highlander's sons to hold captive as ransom to get her sister Christen to return this priceless box. He enlisted Gillian to find her sister, get the box and return it to him by a certain time or the little boy and her uncle were going to be killed.
Bored yet? Ha ha!
So, Gillian being as cunning as she was escaped with the boy on her search to find her sister and to get the box back so her uncle would be safe. Because Gillian saved this young boy (Alec) the highlander's decided to let the "evil" English woman in their territory to search for her long lost sister to save their dear Uncle Morgan. This is where Gillian met Brodick..also known as Laird Sinclair. Rugged, handsome (ofcourse), arrogant (ofcourse) etc, etcetera. Brodick vows to help Gillian b/s she saved her friend's child from death and the romance between the two ensues and brings up all kinds of obstacles and challenges for both of them. And that's all I'm going to say about that. This book has much more than what I gave away. It's really a journey through time that relies on loyalty, love, betrayal, passion and intrigue. I give it 4 and a half stars, b/c it kept me entertained and I couldn't put it down to find out what happened from one page to the next. Does Gillian find her sister in time? Does her sister have the box? Does Gillian and Brodick live happily ever after in the highlands? Does she save her home and get justice? I guess you'll just have to read it and see..... (enter sinister laugh here).

May 30, 2007

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words



John Travolta's, not too bad.

Wouldn't want to change that lightbulb...

Find The Baby:

May 29, 2007

When I Grow Up...

I started my online music class today. It's going to be soooo cake. (No offense to any music aficionados out there!) For the first assignment I had to listen to Handel's Conqu'ring Hero Comes and break it down into blocks and describe the composition. Um....alrighty. First of all, it gave step-by-step instructions so it took me about 10 minutes to do. Anyhow, I already completed the rest of the week's assignments. Yay me! This is a "go at your own pace" course and it was described that as long as assignments were up-to-date by midterm then we'd be ok. SO if this is the case I would like to do all of the assignments this weekend and not worry about it for a while......maybe. ;-) Heh.

A friend of mine is getting fertility treatments and has asked me to give her IM (intermuscular) injections to her. I already gave one, it was fun. I know this isn't a big deal, but when you aren't in clinical you jump at the chance to do anything "nursey". During clinical I would average about 5-10 injections a big deal, now I'm itching to get to stick one really long 18 gauge in someone's arse. Let me at em! I'm a freak.

I think I've decided what I want to be when I grow up. An OB Nurse. I have contemplated this for a while and every time I imagine myself in my role as a nurse that is what I picture. Me with lots of screaming, crying, wrinkly, cute ass babies, oh and their mothers too of course. :-) I don't believe I have ever pictured anything else. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but it did. I have had 4 children, well 3 deliveries, but 4 kids nontheless. Everytime I had a baby (or two) I remember those nurses. I remember their compassion, their concern, their helping hands in my time of need. I want to be that person for my patients. I want to be there because I know what it's like and how vulnerable, scary and joyous that time is. It's a very emotional time. Everytime I had one of my sons I cried, and everytime I remember seeing some tears in their eyes too. To be there at the beginning, or the unfotunate end, of someone's precious life would be a very special gift.

I realize that OB nursing isn't all fun and joy. I also like the aspect of the nursing care as well. Caring for two lives instead of just one presents an enormous challenge and responsability and I love that. I also love that at any moment a mom can go into surgery (not that I want that to happen obviously), but to have the opportunity to scrub in would be pretty cool as well. I just like it, and it's the reason I even wanted to be a nurse in the first place, so I don't know why I ever considered anything else. Obviously this isnt' a sure thing. Nothing in life is, but if I had my first choice it would be OB.

OB Pro: Observing the miracle of life. Yay!
OB Con: Va-jay-jay's all day long. Nay!

We'll see...

May 27, 2007

Oops I did it again!

I did it again. I'm sorry. I just couldn't take the ugliness anymore! I had screwed up my page so bad and hadn't really had the time to fix it, then I realized I didn't even like it. It was too.....bubbly...or something. My cute little nurse smiley was looking a little sketchy lately so I gave her some time off. I have a fairy. I guess I should change the blog title to My Journey as a Fairy. Maybe not. Anyway, I like fairies and it's pretty, so for now it will be fairies. Next week...who knows...could be something as random as toast. Maybe I'll just change it monthly and let my 7 visitors decide which they like best. Ha! I kid, I have about 9 regulars, not 7 geez! What do you all think I am...a loser?

I'm up late. Who cares...I don't have school tomorrow. Ne ne nah nah boo boo. I decided after much contemplation I like's fun.
If you want to change your blog's look visit here: It's as easy as 1-2-3...sort of.

p.s. how do you like my header with the scroll font? I made that myself. Weeeeeeeee!

May 26, 2007

I had a dream....

I had this dream lastight that everything I ever wanted slipped right through my fingers and I couldn't grasp it. I wanted to and it was there....waiting, but I couldn't reach. Then it was gone. Dissapeared. When I woke up to the sunrise I felt like I had went on a journey through time and space. It left me wondering....

As you get older, life and the people in your life take on a new priority. This is the beauty and the ugliness of the stages of life. When you'e a kid you think nothing can harm you. At a young age we played in the dirt, swam in lakes and didn't for once think about getting any nasty parasites. Our idea of fun was a campfire with graham crackers and chocolate. Tents in the backyard, sandboxes, big wheels....DISNEYLAND!

My friends and I rode our bikes all over town when we were dark GASP! We spoke to strangers..oh my! We smoked cigarettes behind the garage, snuck boys into the house when our parents weren't home, and occasionally induldged in a little underage comsumption. Well, probably more than occasionally. At 16 we had a new found freedom...the 1st vehicle. We drove to places our parents didn't know big cities for concerts that certainly wouldn't be approved by the folks. We attended crazy ass parties that would make our parents lock us away forever.... if they only knew. Hauled all of our friends around....without seatbelts! Walked through wooded parks at night for fun, not even worrying about the boogyman.

At 18 we began making our 1st real life decisions. Some of us went to college, some moved out of their parent's house for the first time, some moved out of town completely in hopes of 'finding themselves.' Some stayed right were they are and that's where they remain. Many mistakes were made, many things happened leaving you feeling that sense of regret that only your heart knows about. This is the time when you really start to learn who you are going to become independant of your lineage.

21...ahhh we discovered the bar scene. Complete with making a fool of yourself and learning time and time again that the cold toilet bowl doesn't make a great pillow. Some of us woke up wondering what we did the night before because we got a little too liberal with the spirits...but not me, I'd never do that. (wink)

We fell in love, we had our hearts broken, we fell in love, we had our hearts broken. Tears, smiles, hello's and goodbyes. We have old battle scars that are seen and unseen. Many wounds, many accomplishments, many failures...oh what a time all of that was.

Now that I'm 31, life looks so different. I have a family, new responsabilities and new worries. Not that I don't like this stage, but I sometimes wonder how I got here. When did I go from being reckless, young and full of life, to being guarded, careful and mindful to make the right decisions? Damn...being wise isn't always that fun. Actually, I always felt as though I was an old soul. I think a lot of this stems from the fact that I didn't grow up totally oblivious to life and it's consequences. I had lost my father at 14. I had my first baby at 18 (the summer after graduation). Gained friends, lost friends. Had my heart broken more times than I'd like to remember. You get the idea. I guess you could say that I had a lot of hardships in my life, but without them I wouldn't be who I am today, as the cliche goes. It's so true though. Many people say they don't have regrets and I'd like to think I don't, but I do...have a few.

My oldest son is now 13 and I feel as though I'm just now becoming an adult. "I'm not ready for this". I keep telling myself. My mom was right, "you will get this back" and believe me, I am. Being the parent of a teen is no joke. My son's personality has changed ten fold and I went from being super cool mom, to super stupid mom in a matter of months. I can't help but think back to the days when I was 13. Trampsing around town like I knew everything and thinking my parents were fools. All of this eye rolling, door slamming, sarcastic comment lashing is throwing me for a loop. Teenage angst! I know this well, because it wasn't too long ago that I was doing these exact things. Sometimes when he looks at me as if he wished I'd crawl in a hole, I get a chill because I know exactly what he's thinking. He'll argue this ofcourse, because 'I'm old and couldn't possibly know what's going on in the mind of a 13 year old.' Sigh.

I often wonder and worry how I should handle his new stage in life, just as I'm learning how to deal with my own new stage. If only there were a manuel on how to raise a little asshole. BUT, being as there isn't, I'll just have to reflect on myself as I, too, was once a little asshole. (smirk) I remember at 13 thinking my mom was so old. I'm 31, not that old, and I wish I hadn't thought of my parents that way. Retrospect is a bitch. Karma.

If we could go back again knowing what we know now, what would we do differently? I know I would do many things different, which is why the parents are always at a cross roads with their children. We want them to have what we didn't. We want them to make the right decisions, not be so careless and to grow with the knowledge and confidence that we lacked. Thus, the cycle of life. Now that I know a thing or two (maybe) I would like to tell my children to follow their hearts. Don't settle. Always love yourself first so that you may love others the way they deserve. Listen to your instincts and watch for signs. They are all around you, you just have to open yourself up to them. I once asked God for a sign, as we all have done before. He gave me the sign loud and clear and I still doubted it. How foolish can one be?

As you get older you learn to appriciate the good things and not so much the trivial. Now that I am at that stage I want to live life to it's fullest. Being in healthcare really opens your eyes to what can happen. There are no guarantees in life. It doesn't always turn out the way you plan or the way you think it should. Doors close, others open and I want for my children to take every open door and run through it. Don't hesitate. Don't stand at the open door wondering....GO! Life is so short. I guess this is where I want them to be unlike me.

Being in your 30's does not in any way mean that life is over. I still have a lot more to learn and a lot more life to live. But now, I will live my life in a way that I leave myself to never regret. With knowledge comes new responsability. When you know better, you do better. We can't go backward, but what we can do is go forward. Let those you love know this before it's too late. Don't let the opportunity slip through your fingers. Grab hold of life and never let go.


May 25, 2007

Oh Realllllly?? Hmm....

Well, it's official. Rosie has left The View early and ABC went ahead and released from her contract. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I think she should have finished her contract and tried to resolve things before leaving, but I guess sometimes some things are better left unsaid. I'm kinda shocked by the whole thing....

Onto other things... Keith and I watched the movie Premonition (Sandy Bullock and Jullian McMahon) tonight. If you haven't seen it, you should. It's the kind of movie that makes you think REALLY HARD. I still have questions and maybe if I watched it again I'd understand, but it definately left me with that feeling of Whoa! It's all about fate and the age old question...can you change it? Sandra/Linda wakes up one morning takes her kids to school, comes home and is alerted by the sheriff that her husband was in a car accident and is dead. The next day she wakes up and he's alive eating breakfast in the kitchen as if nothing ever happened. This movie plays with your mind, as it's playing with Linda's. You go through this exploration with her to find out why every other day her husband is either alive or dead. Sounds kinda kooky and it is, but it was good and I can't stop thinking about it.

May 23, 2007

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Things got really ugly on The View today. I found it really uncomfortable to watch and the entire thing should have been done off camera because it went from political to a personal debate. Entertaining nonetheless. If you haven't seen it, then check it out here:

Eewww...friend fights suck. Have you ever gotten into a bad fight with a friend? I have once and I hated it, but we got over it the next day and are still friends. You can't do that with many men...that's for sure. HA!

I don't know if anyone watched the actual show but after they went on their commercial break Alicia Silverstone came out as a guest and totally walked by Elizabeth and dissed her so bad! It was kinda funny, and kinda mean. Elizabeth was PISSED! ICKY!

Does anyone watch House? I haven't ever watched, but I hear it's a really good show. Let me know what you think b/c I'm thinking of starting from the beginning if it's worth it.

OH! I almost forgot...American Idol. I watched the finale tonight and thought it was good. All the guest stars and such. I suppose I'm glad Jordan won, but like I said before, I just couldn't get into it this season. I hope next season is better. This season was boring for me. I don't know why.

p.s. Gina...what's a meme? :-)

May 22, 2007

The Bachelor Season Finale

Well, I just finished watching....thanks DVR! I have a lot to say about this finale show. From the beginning, Tessa was my favorite. I thought she was there for the right reasons and not because she wanted to 'win' a game show. I also thought that Andy was there for the right reasons and not because he wanted to be in a reality show. Having said that, I am happy he chose Tessa. HOWEVER...I don't know why they have to edit the show always in the favor of the 'unchosen one' to throw off the viewers. Maybe it adds shock value, but then the audience is kind of dissapointed because the producers have seduced them into believing he is swaying the other way. So basically, it leaves one dissapointed because we watched a romance unfold that may or may not have been completely authentic. I would much rather have seen Andy and Tessa and their most romantic moments and all the things combined that led to falling in love and having him ultimately asking her to marry him. That's huge and for them to leave us out of the loop that way is just mean damnit!

Onto the episode... Bevin started growing on me in the last couple of episodes, although I did feel she came on a bit strong. This episode I thought Andy was reciprocating those feelings and that made me think that THEY were in love. I mean, he did say..."I'm sooo in love" and "I love you" to Bevin, then he turns around and says the same things to Tessa!? Er...ok. The look on his face when Bevin told him she loved him was priceless, he really looked like he was in drunk love with her. Maybe he was, and I believe he very well may have been. What chose him to chose Tessa over someone he kept reiterating that he had these 'electric' feelings with? Maybe it was her religion, the fact that she had been married before, her nose. I don't know, but he had his reasons and there is a lot that we didn't get to see, so were left to be happy for him...I guess.

When she stepped out of that limo I felt her vulnerable emotions. I did. And when he told her that he had a stronger love connection with Tessa I kind of felt as though I too, had been punched in the gut. She looked as thought she was going to stop breathing....sigh. Haven't we all felt that way before? It makes you want to vomit. Ugh...she couldn't even say a word. Not one single syllable she was so heartbroken. And what could she say? Sometimes saying nothing says everything and in this case it said a lot. Hell, I think Andy's heart was broken too and his rejecting her was mor emotional than him asking Tessa to be his wife forever and eternity. Is that how it's suppose to be? I hope he didn't make a mistake, regarless of how I felt about who he should choose. Who are we to decide anyway? You could tell it was a very difficult decision for him. So sad.

The proposal. It was sweet, but I was waiting for Tess to drop to her knees and cry her little eyes out...but she didn't. I would have just at the site of that ring. YOWSA! Ha! Seriously, if the love of your life looks at you and asks you to be his forever...wouldn't you want to just weap with joy. I would have. Maybe this is all 'edited' again...whatever.

Tomorrow night is the After The Final Rose thing. I hope Bevin isn't there, she should just go find her someone who can care for her and leave this behind her. I think seeing them together will only be like a MILLION KNIVES STABBING HER IN HER FRACTURED HEART. Could you imagine? And on national tv? No thanks.

May 21, 2007

How to become a nurse....

You know you're a nursing student when: You find yourself studying while on summer break! We can now add this to my list.

I found myself surfing through my NCLEX books lastnight answering questions. What is wrong with me? I also read a few pages of OB material...I guess it takes a while for the anxiety to fade. I feel as though I should be doing something, reading something, learning something. I'm definately not use to enjoying myself. A part of me wants so bad to open up a book and get a head start on OB and Peds. Another part of me says that I really need to stop thinking like that, because I deserve this time off. THEN I start to think that if I did infact get a head start it will be much easier on me next semester. Sigh. I MUST STOP THIS MADNESS!

3rd semester really did a number on my psyche. I was taught that there is no such thing as a 'break' and that if I slacked for one moment it could all go downhill, so I never let that happen. I am afraid of failure. One failure can mean hanging on by your nails and I never wanted to feel like at any moment I could take the dreaded plunge. That fear is what kept me climbing and reaching for, what sometimes seemed like, impossible feats. Of course, looking back now I realized I was entirely too hard on myself. I guess I could have given myself some kind of breaks, but I didn't.

Many of you who aren't in nursing school or aren't even affiliated with nursing in any capacity may fail to understand. I do not exaggerate and make up stories to make myself appear smarter than the average bear. Nursing school is an entirely other entity than any other curriculum. I have spoken to a lot of people who don't even understand (mom) how to get the degree so I will break it down for you. And no, this isn't because I am assuming you are stupid, it's because I have had MANY ask so I will clear it all up now.... There is a heiarchy in healthcare.

In the 'nursing' spectrum it usually begins with the CNA (certified nursing assistant), their typical duties include basic healthcare needs such as: feeding, changing, bathing, comforting the pt, helping them dress, meeting their needs etc... They are some of the hardest working people in the universe. I know this because I was once a CNA for a very short period of time and it is ruthless and most of the time, unfortunately, thankless. In order to become a nurse (RN,LPN,CRNP etc...) you must first get a CNA liscense(at least in my state anyway)and we have to maintain it throughout nursing school. It takes a few months to obtain if you are going the school route. So as you are working toward your goal as a nurse you are certified in basic care and are also CPR certified. The average pay in my area is around $6-10 an hour. (They should be paid much more IMO).

The next step is an LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse). AN LPN has a much broader scope of practice than a CNA. I'm not exactly certain of all the new changes to their scope of practice, but I know they are allowed to give most meds and do most procedures, but there are certain medications they are not allowed to IVP (IV push). Please correct me if I am wrong, but this is my understanding. Just like the CNA, LPN's work under the supervision of a registered nurse. An LPN nor CNA can't do any job that is out of their scope of practice and if they do this blame usually falls on the RN. (Scary) I believe the education time for an LPN (also called an LVN) is a year and a half (plus pre-req's- so about 2-3yrs). The difference between and LPN and an RN education wise is that the RN's education is more extensive. Once someone is an LPN and they pass their state boards (which is different from the RN boards) and LPN can then, if they choose to, bridge over to become an RN. Basically meaning that they can take a couple of extra semesters starting in the middle of the RN program and become an RN (after they pass the NCLEX-RN that is). The avereage pay for an LPN in my area is anywhere from $12-$14 and hour.

The is where it gets tricky. There are two different types of RN programs: 1) ADN (associate's degree nurse) and 2)BSN (bachelor's degree nurse). Here is where many get confused. Both programs have the exact same state board exam, there is NO DIFFERENCE! Once you take the NCLEX-RN, whether you have a bachelor's or an associates and you pass you are a registered nurse. As my instructor had told me, the ADN is a crammed up version of the BSN. The only difference is that if you eventually want to teach (need your MSN-master's) or go into other avenues of nursing (there are tons) then a BSN is the road to lead you there. There is no difference in pay between a nurse who has a ADN and a BSN. Not even a dollar (in most cases. MSN is a different story). The exceptions are that some people have senoirity etc at their workplace. The avereage pay for an new graduate RN in my area is anywhere from $18-$25/hr (not including nurses who have been at their jobs for a long time). There are also differentials such as night shift and weekend pay and a new nurse can make upwards of 28 dollars an hour. It is much higher in the bigger and more populated areas.

Here is another thing I want to clear up....many have asked me what specialty I am doing 'schooling for'. I'm not in any specialty right now. In nursing school you learn (almost) EVERY specialty area so that you have a broad spectrum of knowledge. We are taught, legal issues, eithics, Cardio, Respiratory, GI, Renal, OB, Peds, Psych, Immune, Endocrine, Integument, Neuro, Cancer, Ortho and on and on. Within those catagories we learn meds asscoc with the diseases and their side effects and how they work in the body, physiology, pathology, signs, symptoms, treatments, judgement, nursing care, nursing diagnosis etc... We area also taugh skills to coincide with our profession such as feeding tubes, catheterization, injections, IV's, calculations, sterile dressings, nasogastric tubes, intubation etc... Once you graduate you can (most of the time) get a job in a specialty of your choice and are trained in that area on the floor.

With every program you have to complete clinicals. On top of the studying, the skills, your family and friends you also have to got to the hospital once or twice a week and complete about 10 hours a day clinical time. Usually clinical coincides with what you're learning at the time so you can put what you've learned into action. You are graded on your performance, usually by pass or fail, and are under the supervision of one of yor clinical instructors. There is a strict dresscode (ugh) and behavior that you're upheld to during this professional training.

If you decide to go the ADN route please don't assume it's just a 2 year program. Before you can even be considered for admittance you must complete pre-requisites like any other degree. Science, math, english etc. I went full time (including summers) and haven't stopped and by the time I graduate it will have take me 3.5 years to obtain an associates degree in nursing. So they may as well give me my bachelor's and let me be on my way-HA! Joke. The admittance process for nursing school is gruelling. Competition is fierce and I've seen grown women cry their eyes out because they were rejected. It isn't pretty. First of all you have to have a pretty good GPA for them to even look at you (especially in the sciences). You have to meet certain ACT and SAT requirements and the score varies for most schools. In mine I believe it had to be a 20 for the ACT. In many schools they require an interview process where they make selections. Many schools have a lottery system where names eligable are drawn at random (that stinks). A lot of schools have a 1-3 year waiting list. Many schools, like mine, base admittance on a points system. You're given so many points for you ACT score over 20, x amt of points for your GPA, x amt of points for science classes completed and so forth. The higher the points the better your chances. All schools are different and it's best you check with them on their policies. So, in other have to work you tail off to compete with people and getting accepted is a big deal and a big accomplishment.

Once you're actually in nursing school you have to continue to meet a certain standard to stay in the program. I will use my school's policies for examples: Each semester you must have a 78% (C) or better to stay in. If you make a 77.9% they do not care and will not round up. In nursing school, maintaining a C avereage is really good because the exams are so hard and really push your knowledge to the limit. At my school all you classes are in one big class. Ex: we are taught and tested over everything at once. Whereas, many schools have different classes (patho, pharm etc...) for each subject and are tested individually. Each skill that you are performing is in front if an instructor and one slip or one cross of your sterile field and you fail. You can only skill twice. If you fail the second time you're out of the program and must reapply for the semester all over again. Same goes for the calculations/math exams. We also have 4-5 ATI exams per semester we're required to pass according to the state board of nursing. It judges whether we are meeting the standard curriculum guidelines and it fares how well we're being prepared for NCLEX. We have regular exams every other week and on top of that you have clinicals, care plans, drug cards, bibliography cards, group projects, school/community projects, sometimes other classes, extra credit assignments, reading assignments, nasty (and nice) instructors and skills to worry about. If you miss an exam you must wait unti the end of the semester to re-test.

I have had so many people say to me..."it can't be that bad". That is when I look at them and bite my tongue, because my mom always taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. LOL SO, I hope this sums up some of what it takes to be a nurse. I wanted to put this down so that other people can see that it isn't just a black and white career. It is challenging, worthwhile, technical, fun, heartbreaking, backbreaking, and most of all rewarding career. I am sick and tired of nurses, of every kind, not getting the respect they deserve. In order to stop this, the public needs to be more educated. There's my opinion. :-)

p.s. Looking forward to The Bachelor tonight. (He he he)

May 19, 2007


Why do I read this malarchy?>1=7703
You mean to actually tell me that this made the NEWS??? For heaven's sake. Give little Homer his stuffed animals and his damn PB&J and shut the hell up! Why is it that in Hollywood once one person becomes more successful than the other in a relationship they seem to split? Where are those old fashioned values? Doesn't any of these people ever listen to Tammy Wynette? Stand By Your Man. Geez. I guess it's all about Women's Lib. She didn't worry much about the lib part when she was down and out and found roaming the desert talking about aliens and shit did she? I can't believe I'm even mentioning this on my blog.

Moving on.... I was surfing on today...before I elaborate...isn't that the best site ever? And I was reading about the NCLEX. Can you say PANIC? As I was reading I started to sweat and then I had to run to the bathroom, because apparently my PNS had kicked in. (Did I just say that?) I started reading about so and so reviewed with Kaplan, some Saunders, some Mosby's and I just felt like I was on info overload. I know the NCLEX (nursing state boards) is a long way off, but I thought I'd get a head start and all I got was a headACHE. They say that no matter how many questions you get (60,75,82,265 etc..) it doesn't determine whether you pass or fail. If I'm going to fail, I'd rather just have the 75. That way I won't have to spend an extra couple of hours with tachycardia, tachypnea and panic level anxiety. I was reading about the computer adaptive test and only somewhat understand it. What I do know is that if you answer a question right it will continue to give you harder questions until you get one wrong and then it adjusts and gives you easier ones. So basically, the harder and crappier the test is for you the better? 'They say' that you should walk away thinking it was the hardest test of your life and this is suppose to be a good sign. Hmm...alrighty. I'm scared now, so thanks all you scary people. I think every nursing test I take is some of the hasrdest. It seems to only get worse as you go along and so far so good so does that mean I am more prepared for the NCLEX? Ha! Let me just say this....if I don't pass this test on the first try I will be devastated, heartbroken, embarrassed, fearful and downright ashamed of myself. How can you go into the 2nd test feeling confident if you failed the first one? Ugh. I feel for those people, as those people could be me. You never know. The magnitude of it all is just too much. Spending more than 3 years preparing for that moment, that day of the state boards. What a burden, what a nightmare. I hope I'm prepared. Most of what I read was that a lot of people had many prioritizing questions and they said that ABC's didn't help in those questions. I need to brush up on that for sure. I read that a lot of ppl had delegation etc... I guess I should also refresh myself on LPN, CNA scopes of practice as of right now it's a lil foggy.

p.s. went to see Shrek 3 tonight. Don't waste your money, I never even laughed outloud, although it is cute. Wait for the DVD. On the upside, my 4 year old Aidan got to see his "big movie" for the first time and just watching his face made my night. He kept telling me "Shhh Mommy, we gotta be quiet." So cute!

p.s.s. my husband wanted me to clarify about the PNS thing. He thought I misspelled PMS....I wasn't talking about PMS. Although, I do have that at times too, I was speaking in regards to the peripheral nervous system and the effects it has on your bowels. Now...have I embarassed myself enough yet?

Here's a vid to cheer us all up. It's full of happiness and light: (tee hee hee)

May 17, 2007

I Hate Cliffhangers More Than I Hate Cliffhangers With Axes In Their Heads!

What a cliffhanger. I am still speechless after watching that episode. It was pretty emotional huh? First off....OMG!!!!!!! George. Our little George. That can't have happened. He didn't fail, it was a mistake....wait, you know....I bet the scantron was scanned wrong. Yeah, that's it, George's scantron was messed up, that's all. No big deal, they'll just go back and re-scan it or whatever. Ofcourse. George will then come back and be a resident or attending, or whatever they are now and all will be right with the world again. And Dr Burke...he isn't really gone for good or anything. I know I said after all those crappy and horrible things he said he should leave, but...really? He's gone? Took his sax and his grandmama's photograph too? Damn. I was brought to tears when I heard his vows and I really bawled like a baby when Cristina realized it was really, really over. Iz, she poured her heart out and wore it on her sleeve, but I'm afraid she'll be hung out to dry. I mean, Callie and him are going to have a baby because he's COMING BACK RIGHT? If he doesn't I'll be so pissed I will personally write him and tell him just how mad I am. I mean it, I will!

Damn, I have so many questions and I'm really preturbed that none of these questions will be answered for several months. Do you know how aggrivating that is?!!! ARG! Like I said...I hate cliffhangers and speaking of, couldn't we have cut out that whole cliffhanger, axe in the head storyline altogether? We have more important things to discuss than saving lives. Geez, don't these people recognize?

At the end...that chick said her name was Grey. Is that in GREY...Merideth Grey's sister? The one who McDreamy flirted with and threw in Mer's face to make her jealous/intimidated/open her squinty little eyes about? Well, I'll be! I don't want her skanky butt on the show. Not only did Burke leave, but is that the end of Addison too? WHO ELSE WANTS TO LEAVE THE DAMN SHOW? ANY TAKERS? Speak now or forever hold you peace goshdangit!

SO did Mer actually walk away from Derick after all of that "Pick me, Choose Me" bs? What's her deal man? I thought she loved him? Maybe she's gay. You saw the way she was holding onto Christina right? I kid. But what's wrong with that woman? Can't she make up her damn dark and twisty mind? She won't like it too much when her sis runs into McDreamy and here we go again with all the mellodrama that is Grey's Anatomy.....sigh.

Poor Alex...he didn't recognize until it was too late. Oh well, who thought he ever would anyway? I felt so sorry for little Rebecca(?)/Ava with all of her heartfelt tears. All she wanted was a "Stay" an "I'll take care of you and the baby" "You're the woman for me", but NOPE! He wasn't havin' any of that. It is what it is I suppose.

Chief: First of all....after all that crap that Derrick talked about wanting to be chief and then he threw in the towel? Why is everyone so wishy-washy? Just make a decision and stick with it people! I felt so bad for Adelle and Richard. They are a sweet couple and I'm glad they're back together. The Chief needs her and she needs him. Bless their hearts. :-(

Bailey: WHy the hell didn't she get Chief Resident? She deserved that over Callie for sure. That's just tomfoolery right there. That scene with her and George tugged at my heart strings...why oh why was she passed over?

Yes, this was a good episode. If it wasn't I wouldn't be ranting and raving like some crazy person, but why leave us hangin' like that? That's just cold and really, really wrong. I need to know. I need spoilers, I need, I calm down and remember this is a tv show. That's it. (Insert me doing deep breathing excercises here). Before I completely calm down though, I need to head over to the message boards and see if anyone else feels the way I do.

p.s. just went over to the abc message board. Those people are scary. Venture at your own risk!

All good things must come to an end...

Tonight is the season finale of Grey's. (Insert sad face here). All of my favorite shows are coming to an end. Grey's, The sopranos and whatever else. Does anyone watch the Soprano's? Can you believe what Tony did to Chrissy? He held his nose shut and killed him. At first I thought it was a mercy killing because he was spitting up blood from the car wreck and he knew he may die anyway, then I thought....he wanted to kill him! He said he felt 'relieved'. Tony is paranoid as hell, but I guess he has every reason to be. Everyone could be a rat at this point. Ruthless. Then Tony goes to Vegas and screws that girl and they do paoti or mushrooms or something and he ends up in the desert hallucinating and what not. It just pisses me off that he does all of this to Carmella, the lady that has always been there for him when he's down and can't care for himself. What a schmuck! At the same time, you still kind of like the guy. It's a love/hate relationship for the viewers. I think Tony is going to get busted and the season will end with him being in prison. I hope in the finale Carmella leaves his ass once and for all. That is if she doesn't get whacked first. It seems like everyone is fair game. Just look at what happened to Adrianna. That scene was so hard to watch. At first when she got in the car with Silvio and I don't think she knew he was going to kill her. Then when he started driving in the woods she knew and she started panicking. She was crawling on her hands and knees for goodness sake when he shot her. Bejeezus.

I discovered a new show on the (no pun) Discovery channel that I absolutly love. It's called Deadliest Catch and it's about these fleets of crab fisherman who brave the Bering Sea in Alaska during crab season. Aside from being in the military right now, it's the deadliest, most shitty job on the planet. I will forever eat my crab with much more care and gratitude after watching this show, because you get to see first hand just how dangerous it is to catch the crab. I had no idea. These men are gone for sometimes weeks at a time in the icy cold and deadly sea braving the worst weather and waves imaginable. Many men have died while out to sea, which I guess is why they chose to make a movie about it. Remember The Perfect Storm? But, I think they were fishing for swordfish, I dunno. They say you only last a couple of minutes in the sea before you die, so time is of the essence if a man goes overboard. Anyway, it's fascinating and watching them get blasted time after time makes you curl up under your warm blanket and thank the good Lord you're able to watch and not be a part of it. I guess the appeal to them is the money. The deckhands usually walk away with on average $30,000 a piece for hours to weeks work. Many of the fleets are family run and fishing has been in the family for decades. I guess that's all they know. You get to know these men and wish for them a big catch and that they stay safe. You should watch, it's a good show. Ok, there's my plug. Ha!

I'll post again after I watch tonight's Grey's. It had better be good damnit! It's going to stink having to wait months before the new season starts again. I hate endings...

May 15, 2007

Deja Vu is Trippy and some other Miscellaneous Drivel

I have been so use to doing so much of something, that since school has let out all I want to do is a whole bunch of nothing. I feel like a lazy ass. Maybe I'm just not back in the groove of being my normal self. What is my normal self anyway? I've been so disciplined and programmed to THINK, THINK, THINK and RETAIN, RETAIN, RETAIN that my brain is rejecting tedium. I was sitting on my front porch swing the other day watching the kids play, listening to the birds chirp and enjoying the summer breeze when a thought occured to me. "I'm bored out of my friggin' mind." Since when have I had the time to be bored? Then a slow smile crept across my face as I had a second thought..."And I'm lovin' every minute of it."

Sometimes just sitting with your thoughts and going through the motions is a good thing. No one should ever become to complacent and conditioned, in one direction or another. My mind and body are trying to adjust to this new way of life, only if it is temporary. I kind of feel jet lagged or culture shocked in a way. Oh well, I'll get over it and soon will settle in nicely to this lovely new freedom.

I have so many plans this summer. I would like to decorate my house, paint, garden, read, spend loads of time with my family and just be. Being is good. There is nothing else I would rather do than be.

Speaking of more semester and then I'll be a nurse. Hey, did you hear that? That's kinda , uh, scary....and exciting. First semester seems like light years ago. I always tell people that going from first semester to third is like going from kindergarten to college. It's a huge leap and I feel I know so much more now that I ever thought I would. I still feel pretty stupid sometimes and even had a nightmare lastnight that I forgot how to do CPR, but overall I feel good.

Speaking of dreams...have you ever had a dream or a nightmare that followed you around all day haunting you like some nagging song playing in your ears all day? Lastnight I had a horrible, horrible dream and it stuck with me all day and I'd really like to forget it. I won't bore you with details, but I will tell you that I needed to do CPR and I panicked and forgot how! Foreshadowing? Let's hope not. Even in my subconcious REM sleep state I was trying to critically think. (I am programmed) The first thing I did was lay the person on the floor. Obviously. Then I yelled for someone to call 911 and then I tried with all of my might to remember how to do CPR. I froze and just stared and panicked and it was horrible and then I woke up in a cold sweat. Ugh. I hate nightmares. I have a friend who loves to analyze dreams and I guess it's cool, but I'm not so sure that Freudian stuff is accurate. Ex: If you dream of snakes, it means you're going to acquire a lump sum of money by mail....or something or other. What does snakes have to do with money? If I dream of snakes it's usually because I'm terrified of them and I've never been rewarded for that by an envelope full of cash. It's a nice thought though.

This isn't exactly in the same topic, but what is Deja Vu exactly? This happens to me all the time and everytime it does it feels like I'm having some freakish mind trip like "Whoa man, I've done this before..." Do you think deja vu is related to our dreams, our subconcious mind? Could it be because we actually have done it before and maybe in some parallel universe we are living the same life over again? (Scary) If it is perhaps related to our dreams then that may mean that we have all of our dreams stored somewhere in our brains and anytime a similar situation occurs it triggers the dream memory compartment of our mind. This theory may be true because where does all of that knowledge and experience of our lives go? Does it leak out in the middle of the night? Does it fade away and is just gone forever and ever? OR Maybe our brain just has a spastic reaction and it's nothing. Who knows, who will ever know? Do I really care? Not really, but it's interesting just the same. That's some heavy stuff right there. Somebody's got some explainin' to do.

Ok, onto much lighter and fun topics because all of this mind talk has caused my brain to hurt. Did anyone catch the Bachelor lastnight? I'm sure I'm in the minority who actually watches this show, but I can't help myself. It was a good episode. Andy took the 3 girls back to his home of Hawaii and they had 3 romatic dates and he dumped one and Tessa and Bevin are left. I, personally like Tessa. She seems more level headed and not as clingy and needy as Bevin. Bevin cries all the time, she comes on kinda strong (which is probably why he likes her) and isn't nearly as attractive as Tessa, IMO. I don't know why I watch this show because I think that no woman should ever fight over a man on national tv, but it's that same thing I hate that keeps me watching. It's like watching a car can't take your eyes away.

I watched Idol tonight and am bored with it altogether. I am usually into the show, I just haven't watched it much this season. I would like Blake to win with Melinda second, other than that I don't care. I think that Jordan will have a career whether she wins or not. Her voice is beautiful. Did you notice that Blake's song choice tonight is actually one of my vids on my blog (Robin Thicke-When I Get You Alone)? Groovy.

A great blog I've been reading lately is called the Underwear Drawer, the link is under my fav sites. It's very smart and witty. It's about the life of a new anesthesiologist and her gorgeous Dr. husband who live in Manhattan raising their 3 year old son Cal. Kinda sounds like a reality show doesn't it? It's a cool blog, check it out.

I'm so excited for the new and last Harry Potter book to come out in July. I am so boring right? I heard there are some spoilers because someone snagged a copy. I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING! If someone told me what will happen I would come very close to causing bodily harm to them. Reading these books for years and trying to untangle the plot has been what has made the series worthwhile and so fantastic. To have all of that ruined because of someone's big mouth would be just plain mean. I've already warned my husband and he saw that evil flash in my eye. I think he got the hint. lol

I hope everyone has a good Wednesday.
Until next time....

May 14, 2007

"You want me to do WHAT?"

I hope everyone had a happy Mother's Day. I know I did. It came complete with homeade cards, which are my favorite kind, cute little things that my boys made at school and a spa package from my husband. I have hinted for a little while that I wanted a massage, from a professional. Now that I got my wish, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't know how I feel about a stranger rubbing all over my naked body. Aren't you supposed to be naked during a massage? I'm sure they are highly professional and all that, but what do I say to them during the massage? Are you suppose to carry on a conversation or is it ok if you don't speak at all? If you don't speak at all, won't that be a little strange too? "Well, thanks for the rub down, that was great, bye." Do you tip them afterward? I just don't know pamper lingo. I'm not use to pampering in any way. I think I'm just making a big deal of this that shouldn't be made, I mean, c'mon, it isn't a big deal right? And I REALLY WANT A GOOD MASSAGE, but I don't know what to expect. I'm a massage virgin, I can't help it. I also got a facial, a manicure and a pedicure in my package, hopefully I can tolerate the pedicure, I don't like my feet touched....ever. Oi vey! Regardless of all that, I'm really grateful. Hell, I'd be grateful with just the cards, so please don't think I'm a spoiled brat. Well, maybe sometimes, but not about things like this. :-)

So I get a call today from an instructor who informs me that we need to come to class on June 11th for a meeting about the asthma camp we signed up to do in exchange for one clinical day during our 4th (did I mention final?) semester. I sit there on the phone...dumbfounded, shocked and not a peep escaped my lips for what seemed like minutes. I'm sure it was mere seconds, but I thought it was a practical joke. I hung up the phone and was speechless, and I'm never speechless. What? Wait....I thought this was summer break and we are not currently in school am I smoking crack? Did I hallucinate? Did she really just call to tell me we had to come to school...during a break? Seriously? Seriously!!? We have to present our teaching plans and our group projects for their authorization. First of all, this should have been done BEFORE the last day of class. We knew the date of camp, what their expectations are of us and what we're suppose to do....why not talk all this out BEFORE summer break?! I can already see that this semester will be unorganized and chaotic. Now, we have to get in touch with the rest of the group, who are also on their break and make a date when we can meet DURING OUR SUMMER BREAK and work on an assignment! Why do these instructors assume they own us? Do they not think we have lives of our very own, for the first time in a loooooooooooong time? They change the rules, they change the schedule, they change the calendar, but if you ask them to change a test date you'd think you were asking them for the first born. What's with these people? I didn't have a problem with asthma camp, I signed up for it of my own volition, but if I knew it was going to take this much time our of my break, which should be entirely mine, I would have scrapped the idea and did an extra clinical day instead. Yes, I'm being selfish. When it comes to my free time away from assignments and tests and classmates and instructors I'm pretty damn stingy. I have given all of myself and sacrificed so much of my free time for them and I just have trouble giving them anymore, especially when I'm not even in school. Arg! Anyway, there's nothing I can really do about it, but complain and hope that none of them ever read this blog or else I'm in for a rough semester. Maybe I should black out my eyes on my profile so I'm incognito. You know how they do in those magazines and below the photo it reads "What not to wear." You know those people see that photo and think "Oh God. That's me!" How can they not know? How embarassing. I'm getting off track. Ok, enough of that. I got it out and I feel better.

I'm actually excited about the asthma camp part. What's not to love about camp? I'm sure the day will be fun and we'll get a chance to talk to and teach the kids about their asthma and better educate them. I'm all about teaching, that's one of my favorite parts of nursing. Do you know that many diabetics that I talk to don't even really understand their disease? Do you also know that many people who have asthma don't even know the proper way to use their inhaler? That's scary. How can this be possible? Aren't they taught how to use it when it's given to them? Sigh!

Anyhow, this post is boring and I'm sorry. Sometimes I use this blog as my private gripefest that other people may just happen to read. Maybe you'll relate, maybe not. The point is, I feel better. Now, I'm off to watch the Bachelor and may post about it later.
Until next time....

May 11, 2007

I'm An Oddball

I read somewhere a list that someone composed of their guilty pleasures or things people wouldn't know about them and I thought it was a good idea so I'm going to list some of mine, so you can get to know me better. Here goes....

I secretly love Little House On the Prairie. I've seen every episode and can recite most of them. My favorite is when Laura/Half-Pint Ingalls pushes Nellie/Little Twirp Olsen down the hill in the wheelchair to prove she was faking paralysis. HI-Larious!

Urban Cowboy is one of my favorite movies. (Same as above.) Bud: "You're not ridin' that bull Sissy." Sissy: "I'll rad it if I wont to, and I'll rad it agin and agin." Yes, she says it like that.

Brooks and Dunn are my favorite country artists/singers. I have a weakness for Ronnie Dunn's voice.

I have a huge crush on Snoop Dogg. He should have named himself Cool Cat, because he's the coolest around.

I've watched every episode of Oprah since I was in high school. I've written her a bunch of letters of admiration, but never sent a one. One of my biggest dreams is that one day she'll be on my doorstep surprising me with something huge. We know that won't happen. A girl can dream.

I grew up on a farm. Well, not really a farm, but we had a bunch of horses and we once had some cows and pigs, but they were pets because my mom wouldn't let my dad sell them for food.

I've read over 350 romance novels because I love them so.

Harry Potter is my favorite series of books and no, I'm not ashamed to admit that.

It takes a lot to shock or surprise me, people are strange and I learned that long ago. Thanks Jim.

I've only cried twice in the past year, one began with a laughing fit out of stress (nursing school, go figure) and it turned into sobbing, hysterical madness. The other was when my dog ran away, but he's home now and it's all good.

I've been to see about 6 or 7 Grateful Dead shows when Jerry was alive. (1995~RIP) It was the best times of my life.

I met my husband on the internet. Say it ain't's true. Our first date was at a Dave Matthews Band concert and it was a really bad date (I won't elaborate)....but he grew on me, obviously.

My first kiss was at a church "lock-in" (sinner) and the boy's name was Johan Brun. He was a french foreign exchange student. Yes, my first french kiss was with a french boy.

Gwenyth Paltrow is my favorite actress. I've been told I look like her, I don't see it, but that's not why I like her, she's just damn good.

I wish Willie Nelson was my grandpa.

I believe I was reincarnated from the 60's. I'm really drawn to that era and love a lot of the music.

It's hard to piss me off, unless you lie to or about me, then you can succeed.

I use to love to go out, but now I'd rather stay in.

I love to garden.

I get very upset when my husband leaves his toothbrush on the sink. Actually, this is something that pisses me off. I lied before. :-) One day I will get the courage to hide it, that'll teach him. He he.

I love anything about the paranormal, probably because it scares the shit out of me. Except, I don't like scary movies and after watching the Exorcist, I refuse to watch any of them.

I pick at my hangnails until they bleed. I wish I could stop. I don't bite them though, because that would be gross.

Speaking of....I wash my hands about 50 times a day. I am always driving my family nuts about washing their hands. I don't think anyone's hands are as clean as mine. (OCD?)

I screen all of my calls.

I laugh at the most inappropriate times. Recently, in the middle of a micro test, I read a question that was similar to this: You seed a plate with Escherica coli on a nutrient agar with blood, beef broth and carbohydrates and incubate it for 24 hours in the inoculator and one plate was streaked with Staphylcoccus something or other on MacKaunkey Agar for 48 hours. What would be the end result? A) 4 to the 20th power of a colony infestation b) no results C) the blood and beef broth agar would have 24, 672 get the point.
I thought to myself...why in the hell does this matter? I tried to hard not to laugh. I had no idea what the answer was. Once it started I couldn't stop, then the 2 girls sitting next to me started and it was contagious. The harder I tried, the more I laughed. I had to apologize to my instructor and inform her I wasn't cheating, I just couldn't stop. She was understanding.."stress" she whispered and winked. Sigh!

One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who makes fun of someone more unfortunate than them (mentally challenged etc..). I will rip off your head and cram it down your throat if I witness this. Just sayin'.

I can't stand vomit. I hope none of my patient's never puke on me. I may freak out. I'm sure I will encounter this, I'm mentally preparing myself.

I once pulled out a woman's arterial line and she made this horrible grunting noise. I can't get it out of my head.

I love a good thunderstorm. Something about the shift in the air's electric.

I once was involved in a really bad car accident that had me sitting in a court room in front of a 12 person jury in Nashville, Tenn. I was 18 and scared to death.

I hate doing dishes.

I surf myspace and nose around at all the people I know/use to know to see what's going on in their lives now.

I think myspace is stupid.

No, I don't have one.

My dad died when I was 14 years old. It took 2 weeks for it to sink in. Viewing him in the casket was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. Sometimes he comes to me in my dreams, but he never speaks, he only smiles at me. He looks like the version of his younger self, before I was born. I think that's weird considering I don't remember him that way.

I believe in God is all things, not just one thing.

I think Elvis Presley is/was the most beautiful human ever created.

My favorite flowers are orchids and daisy's, but they don't look pretty together.

I don't like red roses.

My favorite scent is lilac and sandlewood, and they don't go well together either.

My favorite song is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, as I'm sure you noticed from my blog. My second fav is Soulshine....that's me.

I think old churches are beautiful.

I'm very nurturing, almost to a fault. People might think I'm weird sometimes.

I'm compassionate and passionate and it's can take over me at times.

My perfect day is on the beach with a margarita and a good book.

The Grey's Anatomy theme song is set as my default ringtone.

I watch Rosie's video blog every morning to start off my day.

The very first tape (they didn't have cd's then) that I bought was Gun's N' Roses Appetite for Destruction and I had to listen to it with earphones on because my mom thought it was the devil's music.

I once put gum in my friend's hair in high school and she didn't know. She was sitting in front of me, I tried to get it out, but couldn't. I was horrified. I still haven't told her it was me. She had to cut her hair. I still feel bad.

I met my very best friend, Heather, in middle school. We were 11 years old. We've been BFF for 20 years now. Wow. (No, this isn't the one with the gum)

My oldest son Skyler (13) is sometimes more mature than I am. He's never been a 'kid'. I gave birth to a crying, incontinent adult.

I've been told I don't smile enough. Who goes around smiling all the time? I want what they're on.

I don't like fake people.

I'm very indecisive.

I love listening to my grandmother's stories of when she was a girl. She's amazing.

I hate homework and studying.

I hate school and I'm glad it's almost over!

I can't believe I'm writing this if anyone cares what I like or don't like. Anyhow, I'm sure I'll revise this as time goes on.

May 10, 2007


I wanted to post about tonight's Grey's Anatomy while it's still fresh in my mind. First things first, wasn't that a great episode? I felt so bad for Merideth when her father came in and told her not to come to the funeral and that it was all her fault her step-mom was dead. How sad. I could feel her pain, and his. Ouch! Merideth is going to lose Derek if she doesn't start including him in her life. Something about their dynamic has changed and I'm not sure I like it. I also wanted to yell at my tv when she didn't take the test, who does that??? Seriously.

I have a suspision that Bailey will be named Chief, but did she even apply? Maybe I missed that part. All the pregnancy things on the show were kind of cute, except the end where one fainted (not good) and the other hemorraged (really not good). Poor Adelle and poor Richard because he didn't know. I wonder if it was his baby, I bet it was. Adelle just doesn't seem like the type of lady to go and have some casual sex while separated, but I guess we'll find out next week.

Izzy's speech about loving someone you can't be with while making margaritas was pretty sweet and pretty damn stupid. Does she think that Callie is blind or what? And Merideth asking her if she was talking about Denny didn't make the situation any more comfortable. Why would Mer ask that in front of Callie? If she thought she was talking about George, and I'm thinking she wondered, why would she ask her that at that moment? I thought that was weird. Did you see Callie's face? Scary. Izzy better watch out. George is just the cutest thing. Who couldn't fall in love with his sweet puppy dog face?

I wonder if this wedding is going to be pulled off. With all of the ' i'm not certain' undertones of the show I have a pretty good guess someone will not be saying their vows. It will probably be Burke and he'll leave Seattle for good once he finds out he isn't made chief and asta la vista for him.

I'm bummed that next week is the last show for a while. Just when it's getting good again. Will George leave SGH for Mercy West? Will Cristina and Burke get married? Will Derek leave Merideth? Will that Ava girl contact her husband? Who will get Chief? Will George and Callie get a divorce? many questions and only one episode....I doubt we'll get the answers we need.

Until next time...

May 9, 2007

How Long Have I Waited For This Day?

It's officially summer break! I'm so excited I can barely contain my joy, but I'm too tired to display it, so I'm smiling and dancing on the inside for now. :-) I took my last (micro) final today and I did ok. I made a low B, and I'm pretty certain I got a B for the class. It was a hard fought fight, but I won and I'm proud. Tomorrow I will be starting the cleaning process and when I say process, I mean PROCESS. One room at a time. There is so much to do I'm overwhelmed, but what can you do but jump in with both feet? Which is what I'll have to do in regards to my laundry pile. Hopefully my family can dig me out of the rubble if I get trapped. I can just see it now.... Woman killed by her enormous laundry pile. News at 11. That would be a shitty way to go eh?

I think I'm going to buy this: not only because it's funny, but it's oh so true. Ha!

So....what am I going to do with all of this newly earned freedom of 14 and a half weeks? Perhaps I'll read some good books (any ideas?), lay in the pool, actually cook dinner, instead of ordering take out. Wow, those normal people don't know how good they have it. I already feel awkward (sp?), as if I have some kind of purusing to do. BUT...I don't weEeeeeeEeeeeeeeeEe! I think the transition from actually working as a nurse from being a student will be odd, but refreshing. No studying every night, no demands on my time....what a sweet life. I considered taking an externship position this summer but thought better of it. This is my last summer break and I really need it to re-energize myself and get back to the basics. I'll have the rest of my life to work, so why jump the gun? Of course I could use the experience, but right now my family is what matters most and I want to connect with them again. We've all been so busy we have barely managed to utter something besides..." Are you taking the twins to ball practice?" "I'll be home by 6, ...or 10." "Pizza again?" " Is this Monday or Wednesday?" "I can't, I have to study." and "Goodnight, guess I'll see you tomorrow night before bed." I'm ready for the change of have no idea how ready. I feel as though these last couple of weeks I've been running on fumes. I'm so full of information I'm surprised I don't have crap leaking out of my ears. That was a bad joke, but it's how I feel.

Damn, I complain a lot huh? I'm going to try and limit the amount of time I talk about nursing school this summer, just to keep my BP in check. But, because that's all we eat, sleep and breathe, I'm sure I won't go a post without mentioning it, as much as I'd like to run from the subject as fast as possible. For those of you who are still in it and going strong...God bless you and keep your chin up. Work hard and play hard.

Peace and love....

May 7, 2007

I'm a Senior Y'all !

Yes, you read it right. I said y'all in my blog title AND I passed my nursing final!! WOOT! Dancing the jig. Jig, jig, jig. First of all let me say, THAT WAS THE HARDEST FINAL IN THE HISTORY OF ALL FINALS EVER ON EARTH! Secondly, I missed 21 out of 100 and in order to pass the test you couldn't miss more than 22. I skimmed by. Although I didn't do fantastic, it seemed to be the average miss, perhaps we all missed the same ones....hmm. My exam grade was a 79% and my final grade in the class is an 88% I believe. BUT they said they may throw out some questions, so maybe, just maybe, I'll squeak by with a 91 and end up with an A for NSG 203. If I don't, a high B is fine with me. (Ok, just checked my email, they threw out 2 questions which means I got an 81 or something for the exam and they took 2 answers for 2 other questions but didn't elaborate and said check email regularly for there ya go).

Oh yes, don't mean to toot my own horn but I was awarded the Dean's List Award....complete with pin and certificate. Groovy baby! I got an invitation to honors night and at the last minute opted out so I could study instead. Why do you think I'm on the Dean's List people? LOL That was such a joke! Seriously though, I didn't go because I knew I needed to study for the final so I called a friend and she told me what I got. Being as I played hookie from high school atleast once a week and spent my lunch money on cigarettes and candy, I think the Dean's list is pretty good.

As far as I know everyone who took the test today passed the class, so that's good to know. I'm still going to miss my friend Tonya who withdrew, but she's in good spirits and is looking forward to next year. That's why she's my friend, she's good people and has a great attitude.

I don't think that it's hit me yet that I've finished my 3rd semester. What a road it's been to get here. I'm so drained from today and I feel like I've been drug behind a Mack truck for a few miles. I told myself to take the night off (as if that was hard to do) and tomorrow I'm going to begin (ha) cramming for my micro final that's Wednesday. Micro isn't too bad, it's a lot of memorization, which is a lot easier than trying to grasp concepts, but thank the Lord Med-Surg is OVER. Well, I'm going to go chill on my sofa, have a cold beer and get ready for the Bachelor to come on. Yes, I'm addicted to that stupid show. I love this year's bachelor. Andrew Baldwin, he's a navy doctor, a humanitarian, a triathalete and he's hot as hell. Who couldn't be addicted to that?
Peace Out!

May 6, 2007

Monday, Monday

I have one more day to study and re-learn everything I've learned all semester. Aahhhhhh! Actually some of it's coming back, but it's the numbers...those stinkin' lab values and the normal ICP, BUN, GFR PEEP, MAP, etc, etc etc that's getting to me. When you work at the hospital, the lab report has the normal values on there along with the pt's values so you can get an idea of what's going on, so why must we memorize over 200 lab values? I just got this sick feeling in my stomach, a feeling of panic about tomorrow. I know I can miss about 70 questions on a 100 question test and still pass the class, but who's to say I won't miss 70? Surely not, but you just never know. This semeser I felt like I've failed every test the second I handed it in, and I usually came away with an A, so there's no telling how tomorrow will go. We'll see...i'll update you and let you know. If for some reason I don't update, it's because I'm probably laying on the floor in a fetal position crying my eyes out. So let's hope I post.

The drugs....we needs to know about 200 drugs as well, along with their contraindications, the interventions, what they're for, when y0u take them etc... I'm surprised they didn't hand us the Davis Drug Guide and tell us to take it home, memorize it and come back next week to be tested on it....sheesh. I really hate the renal system, there are about 15 disorders and they all have nephro in it. Trying to distinguish between them again is making me nuts. Glomerulonephritis, Nephrotic syndrome, get the picture. Oh, and don't forget Neuro... MS, Huntington's Disease, Myasthenia Gravis, Lou Gerrick's, and I can't even remember the rest. You see? How am I to remember all of this stuff? Our test covers.. Lower GI, Oncology, Male reproductive, Immune, Integument, Renal, Neuro, Psych, Math, and I'm sure something else important I've left out. I don't have a short term memory anymore. I think I'm getting alzheimers. My son came in the room the other day and I asked about his day. Then I asked again and he told me I already asked. I didn't remember. My mind is too full to remember what I said 5 minutes before, what I had to eat, or if I even ate at all and if I remembered to put a bra on in the morning. Yes, this actually happened. No, I didn't forget to wear it, but I grabbed my chest in a moment of panic wondering and that's scary. I've had nightmares that I failed tests. I've had nightmares that I slept through a test ...I'm sure this is all just a part of being a nursing student and that we've all done this from time to time, but it doesn't make it less horrifying. There is so much riding on every grade and every exam. My shoulders are heavy with the weight of it wonder I've been getting so many tension headaches.....

Moving you ever think to yourself..I hope I don't die before I graduate? I sometimes do. That would suck! Missing out on life for 2 years for a degree and not even getting to graduate. Ugh! Yes, I know, I'm all dark and twisty inside. What of it? I'm just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I don't want the light to go out before I get there ok? This test tomorrow will determine whether or not I'll be a senior. It will also mark the beginning of summer break and the enjoyment of my summer will all depend on this exam tomorrow. I'm going to think positive for a change. I will pass, I will pass, I will pass. There, now let's see if Oprah was right. If not, she'll get a strongly worded letter from me very soon.

My blog is looking all funky. I've messed with it so much I don't know what I've done at this point. Once school is out I'll have time to tweek it some more, until then it will just have to be a little off. It's kinda cute though right? Really girly. I will probably change it all again soon just because i'll get bored. What will I do without having to study.....ahhhh the life. I'm going to feel really off for the few weeks after school, as I always do, then I'll settle in nicely to being normal. Just when I get settled is usually when class starts back again. Ha.

Well, I'm going to go lay in the sun, drink a pepsi and study. I wish you all luck with your exams, wish me luck too!


May 4, 2007

Finding Ways to Procrastinate...It's Easy

Ok, so I've tried the do-it-yourself html stuff and as you can see I haven't really got the hang of it, but atleast I learned a few things eh? (I have to admit, it's kind of addicting and this has came about at a really bad time...) There are some glitches, I believe the smiley nurse flashes as if any minute she'll be transported back to her homeland, but I haven't figured out how to fix it. Let me know if it looks like this when you view it too. If nothing or something really strange is showing up on your browser, please let me know that as well. For cool tips and tricks on how to personalize your own blog go here:

But please don't click there if you have a final exam in 2 days like I's a bad, bad site! I repeat...enter at your own risk!

Trickery and Tomfoolery

As far as the templates, I've just been playing around, so if you log on and it's different everytime, that's why. :-) What was with Grey's Anatomy lastnight? They tricked us into watching Addison's pilot...that's just plain mean. I thought we'd get to see a great 2 hour Grey's episode. No. What we got was some snippets of Grey's in between Addison and all these new characters in LA shoved down our throats. On top of that, I didn't even like the pilot. Did you? All of the sudden Addison wants a baby? Hmm.... alrighty. Didn't see that coming. What I don't understand is why she's doing a spin-off in the first place. Why change something that isn't broken? Anyway, I was dissapointed lastnight. Grey's is starting to become confusing. And all of the supposed to be OMG moments don't shock me anymore because they're always trying to throw OMG moments in the show. It just doesn't feel the same. I read that Dr Burke is being written off the show. Wonder why..........ha ha.

Here is where I'm confused.....why is Derek all of the sudden not wanting to "breathe" for Merideth. Didn't he propose to be her knight and shining whatever just a couple weeks ago? Didn't he almost break down because he thought she was dead? Now he's saying he's not so sure about their relationship? HUH??? You don't dump a girl right after she comes back from the dead, don't these writers know that? And why hasn't Merideth told Izzy about seeing Denny on the other side? Does she not remember? Moving on..Merideth's step mom: She got the hiccups, had an endoscopy, got sepsis and died. Dead...all because of some hiccups. That sucks. Then we see Merideth playing cards and doing shots of tequila like it's no big deal her dad slaped her across the face and her step-mom died. Derek comes over to console her (I think) sees her smiling and laughing in the window and realizes (I think) that this chick is detatched from her emotions and might never change. This confuses me. Merideth needs to see a "quack" and get over herself. Did you notice on next week's preview that Derek meets a girl at a bar? Here we go again....

Burke and Cristina: It's obvious Cristina doesn't want this big wedding and Burke does. He realizes they are very different , but tries to convince himself otherwise. That old skeezy doc was right....she's not the marrying kind. This wedding isn't going to happen and we all know it. I bet it's Burke who leaves her at the alter and we never see him again. End of Burke.

Addison, McSteamy and Alex: What's going on with Alex, does he or does he not love Addison? Does he love the no-memory girl? Well, that's what I thought the writer's were trying to clue us in to, now I'm not so sure. By the way writers, fix that girls damn teeth already! Eew. Did you see the preview for next week about her? Does she really remember ans is faking it? During her brain surgery she starts speaking about 5 different languages... odd. Maybe she's a spy. lol Maybe, that's why she "claims" not to remember...she's investigating something at the hospital. This could happen you know, this show gets crazier every time. She did say she knows everything that's going on. Hmm...I'm sure it's farfetched, but you never know. McSteamy seemed really sad over losing Addison....ok whatever. I did love the part where he told Derek he caught her sleeping with someone else and Derek said "oh, that must have been very hard for you." insert snicker here. HA! Karma's a bitch eh?

Izzy, George and Callie: It's obvious George is rethinking his decision to marry Callie. He said it seemed like a good the time. Poor George, he's in a pickle. I don't know how it happened (well I know) but I didn't see it coming that Izzy would fall for George. Something about this relationship just doesn't seem right, but it makes for good tv nonetheless. Thew whole elevator scene was heartbreaking. Do you really think George is going to transfer? If he leaves the show I'm not sure I'll keep watching. He's my favorite character. Callie knows what's going on. Women know, they have a 6th sense and her seeing them once that elevator opened....they looked so guilty. I have a feeling Callie will save George the trouble and let him go. She knows she can't compete with Izzy and it's obvious he loves her. It isn't obvious he loves Callie, and that was known from the get-go. The scene in the bridal shop where Callie asked Izzy to go in another room with her was funny. 'You want me to go with you...alone? Ok." Izzy was scared. Ha ha.

Well, I guess we'll see, or maybe not, how all this will play out in the next couple of weeks. Right now I don't know what's going to happen. Everything is up in the air. I hope they can get it together and bring our show back. This just feels like some daytime soap.
Until next time....
p.s. haven't started studying for the final yet...... ru-roh!

May 3, 2007

The blog will be updated soon, I haven't had time to work on it. I want to change it because I was tired of the old template. So, that's why it looks so crappy right now.

Well, I had a minute to update so I thought I'd take the opportunity. This week has been so hectic. Monday I had my micro lecture test and I got an 80% (Which is a B becuse it isn't a nursing course yee haw!)....I didn't care, I just studied enough to pass. Ha! Tuesday I studied with a friend from 9am-7pm for our second psych nursing test and Wednesday I took that and got a 91%. WOOT! Today at 10am I took my micro lab test and I'm not sure yet how I did, I think I did ok. I am so sleep deprived it's not even funny. I've been going to bed at midnight and getting up at 5am to study. Sigh..... So tonight my goal is to get everything ready for my nursing final, which is Monday (EEK!) and studying for that all weekend. Wednesday is my micro final and then.........................FINISHED!!! Thank you for the well wishes I've gotten, I hope you all are getting through it as well. We've gotta stick together and keep encouraging eachother to make it. I figured up my grade for nursing and as of right now I have a 91% average. I'm sure I'll end up with a B and that is totally fine with me, but I don't want to go from a B to a C because I did poorly on the final, so I'm going to do my best to pass. There are 100 questions on the final exam and I can miss 69 and still pass the class. I love that. lol BUT, I hope I don't miss that many.

Some sad news, my friend Tonya and my other friend/classmate Stuart had to withdraw yesterday along with another girl. They had no choice, they knew that even if they got a 100% on the final they still wouldn't pass the class. I felt sick the second I heard. I would hate to re-do 3rd semester again. Ugh, Ugh, Ugh! To get all the way to the end and find out you aren't going to pass.... Tonya worked so hard, I guess it just wasn't her semester. We have lost so many along the way, our class is slowly dwindling. They said that they weeded out a lot in 3rd semester, I guess they were right. But as I said in a previous post, they're not pullin' my weeds, and they didn't. :-)

So far I don't know much about 4th semester except it's extremely hectic. I do know that OB and peds, so I'm excited. We've completly completed Med-Surg! WOO hOO ! I was told by a 4th semester student that in the first 2 weeks of class we have 13 skills, but they're not bad. 13! I don't know about you, but that sounds kinda bad to me. I also know that the first half of the semester we complete 120 hours of OB/Peds clinicals and the second half we get to choose our own preceptor/nurse (if we know one) and we work under them all day and they evaluate us....this is also 120 hours. One of my best school friend's mother-in-law (make sense?) said she'd precept me so I'm excited. She works on the Women's unit and I've done a clinical there before so I feel comfortable there. It's a small 14 bed unit, so it's a good unit to learn under a nurse on. Other than that, that's all I know. Oh, they told us to come with skates on...I'm assuming we'll be pretty busy.

Well, I'm going to try and work on this blog since I have a little extra time right now. Hope everyone is doing well in school and is taking care of themselves.
Until next time...