A Picture Story

Wednesday was Aidan's chemo & lumbar puncture (spinal tap) day. I decided to document it. Normally, I do not post certain photos/videos of Aidan and what he goes through, but today I decided to to show the realities of this life and his struggles and more importantly triupmhs. It is a testament that where there is pain, there is also joy and who better to prove that than a child? Although there are other problems in the world, and even within my own family, when it comes down to it....this is what matters most. He is my little hero and is more brave than I could ever be. No matter what occurs in my life and in my daily existence, sometimes you have to let go of your differences, even if for a day, and focus on something that is bigger than yourself. Although this does not do justice to all that his little body and soul has been through. It is a brief glimpse into a typical day of a child with leukemia. Up at 4am on the road to the children's hospital that is 2 hours away. Exhaustiion ensues....

This is Aidan's Story.
Daily Regimen:


Hematology/Oncology Clinic January 7th 2009:



All along the walls of the clinic are these handprints. There are entirely too many.


1st step....vitals:


He knows this drill all too well and doesn't even have to be told what to do anymore:


Open up and say Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!


Aidan gained around 3lbs in a month!



Hat hair:)


Time for the finger stick to test his CBC: (p.s. he hates this and usually has to be held down so he doesn't accidentally punch the poor nurse)


At first it's funny...he gets the giggles when anxious....


Then.....it's not so funny.


Then.....it's funny again.



Then not...


Then it is again! (very confusing ~wink~)


Oooooh TOYS!




Time for the teste exam. Leukemia cells like to hide in male testicles. Aidan's testes passed the "test" :)


A smile is managed....




But is quickly evaded with shyness.



Awaiting the nurse in the "playroom" to get his chemo-vincristine:


So small:


The chemotherapy medication has to be prepared behind these glass partitians. They are incredibly toxic and even at home we are not allowed to handle them without special gloves:


I am very stressed and tired....as you can see:


Aidan getting his port accessed so that he may get his chemo...always a struggle. Sigh.


No, he is not being smothered. Aidan hates the taste and smell of his medicine, so it is a ritual to cover his nose, upon his INSISTENCE! :)


Finally his port-a-cath is accessed and his chemo is given.


Aidan is given his reward, his bravery beads. Each visit he recieves new beads for his necklace and each bead stands for something different. Each chemo, each LP, each time they poke him etc....he gets a new bead.



And FINALLY...after much resistance....smiles ensuse. :)


The bravest person I know and his smile melts my heart. :)


Finished at the clinic and now on our way to the children's hospital for Aidan's lumbar puncture:






Aren't I a happy camper? This is my,...I'm very tired and very annoyed with certain people, face.





We discovered that taking photos within the "security lens" was quite fun! Oh, the irony. :/





















Finally, after a little trek across pedways, we are at the hospital.










We've walked these halls a million times.


The tiny chapel where I spent some private time in the past.














Letters to God:




7 East...Where all of the outpatient procedures take place on the Oncology Floor.


Time to get started.




Vitals again, or as they say at the kid's hospital.. "viddles".


Old BP machine:












Time for the "sleepy" medicine that causes Aidan to laugh uncontrollably. Oh and we have to hold the nose again.


Anesthesia...


Don't let his open eyes fool you...he's out like a light.




The best doctor EVER (left) prepares for the LP. Spinal fluid is removed for testing and chemo is inserted to prevent the bad cells from forming in the fluid.


Aidan talks out of his head when he comes out of anesthesia. Yesterday, I told him I was going to take his picture and he said "Oh Yea! Take my picture baby!" But in a very slurred tone. It got a lot of laughs. lol










FINALLY, after a very long day, we get to do what Aidan has waited to do for over 12 hours.....EAT!



Aidan is still in remission and is in excellent health. He plays, goes to school, acts like a brat sometimes and is also very sweet just like any other kid. In two weeks he will be 6 years old and is extremely excited about his birthday. He has all the plans settled in his head :) He will be finished with chemotherapy in October 2010. We cannot wait and feel incredibly blessed that he is healthy. Never take life for granted. It's entirely too short.

Peace & Love,
~Christy

You...

Today is a bad day. I really want to vent. I want to curse and let it all out, but I won't. I'm going to keep this as straight forward as possible and leave all of the profanity on the tip of my tongue where it belongs.

I feel so betrayed and disgusted. Not to mention sad and pissed off! I know I am not perfect, but if my wanting to have some sort of normalcy in my life and a friendship makes me a bad person, well, ring up the shitty people police and take me away. I'll go gladly. Atleast I'll go knowing I had good intentions. Sigh.

I hate drama. Especially when I'm in the middle of it. I have always used my blog as a diary of sorts, to express myself. Of course it's public and anyone can read it, however it still felt as if it was mine and somehow everything I say goes into an unknown void. I no longer feel that way as my every thought is gone through with a fine tooth comb. Nothing is my own. I feel stripped of my rights as a human being and I feel incredibly violated, betrayed and used. It's not a comfortable feeling. Perhaps one day you will feel this way and you will understand. Though, I doubt it.

I know you are reading this now....probably smirking...probably feeling like king of the world for having your incredible "super powers" over me...feeling justified in your position to invade my personal space. Good for you....I am an open book at your disposal for you to peruse at your leisure. You win. Does this make you happy? Did your actions make life easier for you? There are a lot of things that I want to say to you, but none seem quite poignant enough. Words are meaningless compared to what I'm feeling. I'm so hurt by you that I can't even explain it.

For one mind numbing moment I felt that this was ok. It is not ok. I am not ok.

I'm On a Roll Today

Stolen Survey from Drofen....thanks :)

1. What's your full name?
I'm sure if you've been inquisitive enough you'd already know. :0

2. Who are you named after?
No one....I'm completely original. Established in 1975.

3. What characteristics should your husband have?
I already have one, but if I could manufacture one and make the perfect man (HA-HA-HA!)I'd say he would have patience, because I sometimes require a lot, a great sense of humor, because that is the biggest turn on, a sharp wit, the ability to communicate without YELLING, the ability to take criticism at times, and the capabilities to cherish me because I am worth it.....I think. ;)


4. Do you believe in love of the first sight?
Hmmm......yes!

5. Could you imagine a life without children?
Never. They have changed me and made me a better person.

6. Who's the baby in the family when it comes to getting sick?
My husband for sure....

7. What did you want to grow up to be when you were a child?
An actress....the world was my stage! Or rather, the hillside on which we lived. As you can see, that didn't turn out too well!

8. What would be the worst thing that could happen to you?
I don't think I need to answer this question. Bottom line, I hope I die before any of my children and I hope that I am very old, safe and warm in my bed when I go.

9. What is your profession?
I am a registered nurse and proud of it. :)

10. Are you an organized person?
I am organized in my head. I am a Virgo (=organized, anal person) and I love to feel and be organized, but often times it's just a distant dream of mine. Yes, I dream about it. Drool!

11. If you could go anywhere for vacation where would it be?
Italy on a siesta, eating good food, photographing the beauty and with someone I love.

12. If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
Probably Italy...it's my dream destination. I love places that have culture and old history. It's fascinating.

13. What is your new years resolution for 2009?
None....just to grow and learn and have more experiences.

14. When are you most likely to lie?
I have to go with Drofen on this one....probably to protect someone I care about..., as ironic as that sounds.

15. Whats your biggest fear?
Again....do I need to answer this?

16. Which characteristic do you despise in other people?
Judgement, ignorance, liars and really bad manners.

17. What's your worst feature?
Oh gosh! Currently I am not digging myself at all, but if I could change one thing right now it would have to be my tummy. After 4 kids, it's just not so.....elastic anymore. ARG!

18. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
I'd be able to make decisions easier. I second guess myself a lot.

19. What do you think about Barack Obama?
Sigh.....I adore him and all that he stands for and I hope that he can live up to the expectations put on him.

20. How do you want to die?
Old. Very old.

21. Which talent do you wish to have?
I wish I could sing like Celine Dion.

22. What is your most precious possession?
My camera I suppose, and my wedding rings.

23. Who are your favorite writers?
I have too many....

24. What is your favorite book?
Again, too many.

25. For what do you feel sadness?
To see someone suffer who doesn't deserve to. That makes me incredibly sad.

26. Which living person do you admire?
Oh, Aidan, my son, for sure. He's so brave and.......he's just very inspirational to me.

27. Which living person do you mostly detest?
Ugly, mean people, people who intrude on others in invasive ways and people who don't have the ability to see the beauty in things.

28. What is your favorite quote?
"Don't worry so much about life. No one gets out alive anyway." ...or something. It's morbid, but it puts things in perspective doesn't it?

29. What do you do to help the environment?
I like to feel as if i'm close to mother nature and I do consiously try to protect her in any small way I can.

30. Why do you do this survey?
Just bored.

Little Miss Smarty Pants!

I didn't even know, oh well. It's nice to know now.....better late than never. :) Toot toot!

Scroll down to see my name in bold.
p.s. I'd give my full name....but ya know... ;)


HCC Honors Night salutes more than 100

There were smiles galore as more than 100 were saluted Friday for their hard work and achievements as Henderson Community College students.

The students received awards and scholarships for academics as well as organizational endeavors.

Honor Roll

Kelley Marie Abrams, Andrea Lynne Baity, Linda J. Battle, Crystal Jean Best, Pamela D. Boone, Robin Marie Bowers, Chasidy Dawn Breeding, Rebecca A. Brooks, Andrew Keith Brown, Megan Nichole Brown, Addie Elizabeth Bryant, Gretchen M. Buckman, Daniel Bryce Bullock, Erin L. Caldwell, Jennafer L. Chandler, Lauren M. Clark, Joanna Hite Clement, Heather Nicole Collins, Jeanie Collins, Mary Emily Conrad, Franah B. Cook, Bridget Rana Courtney, Lisa J. Cox, Katie Erin Crooke, April Lynn Crosley, Jeanette Marie Cupra, Erica Denise Dale, Jamie Marie Dillon-Jones, Amy Hogan Dunford, Christopher S. Economy, Jamie Renee Edmaiston, Lynnsey J. Ellis, Miranda C. Flynn, Julie M. Fuchs, Stacy Jo Fuqua, Bethany M. Glazebrook, Alisa M. Goff, Brandon Tyler Gower, Jessica Greenwood-Markle, Zachary George Hartmire, Cara Rochelle Hickey, Hillary Sue Holcomb, Sylvia Nicole Hood, Megan Renee Jacob, Lacy E. Jimenez, Matthew McLane Jones, Lenora Morris King, Scottie Koonce, Lindsay Morgan Lambrich, Holly Anne Lawrie, Doris J. Lawson, Brandi M. Lewis, Adam Joseph Libbert, Karen Diane Lickey, Jamie Nicole Lindsey, Samantha Anne Logan, Mitch E. Lovell, Teresa Ann Lynn, Lynnette K. McIntyre, Jessica Nicole McKenzie, Cassie L. Moore, Helen Michelle Mosley, Mitzi Jean Murphy, Paige Michelle Nation, Whitney C. Noel, Heather Rachel Ottenbaker, Jared M. Patterson, Lynde S. Pharris, Josh Allen Powell, Katy Lyn Raley, Jill R. Rector, Diana G. Riggs, Brandee R. Roberson, Christina M. Roberts, Dena Sue Rosebrock, Theresa L. Sauer, Tina Louise Smith, Judy Ann Sorrells-Billings, Tanya B. Stanley, Christy D. ______, Jama Renee Stocking, Bonnie Sue Straker, David Andrew Sutton, Tabitha Ann Sutton, Paige Shavonne Taylor, Autumn D. Thomas, Barbara Sue Thomas, Eric Thomas, Kimberly Vinson, Kaitlyn Kristine Walker, Lana Marie Weber, Krista Ann Weldon, Carol Ann Wheeler, Adam T. Wolfe and Donna Ward Wolfe.


5/3/2008





More than 100 saluted at HCC Honors Night

It was their time to shine, and shine they did Friday night when more than 100 of them were saluted for their hard work and achievements as Henderson Community College students.

As proud families watched in the auditorium of the campus fine arts center, the students received awards and scholarships for academics as well as organizational endeavors.

Dean's List

Kelley Marie Abrams, Mary Denise Adams, Brandi Rose Beck, Sherri Ann Blaine, Loria A. Bryan, Darius Julian Collier, Letitia Ann Curtsinger, Sandra Dawn Elmendorf Daniel, Tiffany Leigh Dant, LuAnn Harris Davis, Nicole Marie Dempsey, Wendy Sue Denney, Kirkland Blue Dyer, Jamie Lynn Edge, Sharon B. Edwards, Justin Wayne Elliott, Laura Lynn Gross, Michelle Dawn Hein, Meagan Cory Hendrix, Amy Devon Hobgood, Susan Ashby Hollis, Sylvia Nicole Hood, Heather Kennette Jones, Kimberly Renee Jones-Vinson, Amanda Courtney Long, Julie Nichole McLevain, Gordon Michael Meighen, Anthony Scott Mercer, Kayla LeAnne Pirtle, Aurora M. Reburn, Sarah L. Rideout, Valarie M. Roberts, Amy S. Ross, Wendy Marie Rumsey, Christy D. ________, Jama Renee Stocking, Katherine Joyce Stone and Kimberly Dawn Wheeler.




5/5/2007

Self Reflection

I am coming into a form of clarity right now. I don't know why. It's about nothing in particular, just me thinking a little too much, which I tend to do from time to time. It just happens to be that time again. Time for a little self reflection. I am not at peace in my life and am needing it now more than ever. I believe that everything in life happens in cycles and will also repeat themselves if the lesson isn't learned the first time. Needless to say, I have been around the block several times. Slow learner? Perhaps. Pure stupidity? More than likely. Someone is trying to tell me something and finally, I am listening. Hello!

I have made some bad decisions in my life, ok... A LOT. I own them, they are my decisions, even if they were made for all the wrong reasons or what I thought was the right reasons at the time. I wouldn't be who I am without my mistakes and yada, yada. I am over that and am now at a place where I want to make the right decisions....for me. It seems as though I'm always doing things because that is what someone else thinks I should do or because it's socially correct or the "norm", whatever the hell that is. However, I don't think I've ever really done things because it is what I wanted. I am over caring about what other people think of me. No one can judge me because they have no idea what I have been through emotionally and spiritually in my life. Not that anyone is, that I know of, just speaking hypothetically here. I only get one chance at this life, and incase you don't already know....so do you!

I wish I could talk to my younger self and clue her in on life now that I'm a little older and wiser....I think. If I had the opportunity, I'd shake the shit out of her and smack her around a bit, then I would tell her to be patient and to trust her instincts more. Why do we ignore our instincts? Have they ever led us wrong before? Never. Then why do we ignore the nagging voice that tugs at our bellies screaming at us to LISTEN? Self doubt? Not enough confidence in ourselves? Idiocy? Who knows, who cares! The point is we do this so often and so often think back and go "Ahhhhhhh! Now I get it!". Well, DUH dumbass! <---------------soley speaking to myself here.

Our time clocks are backwards. It's in our 20's where most of our life decisions are made. Who do we want to become? What career do we want? Who do we want to marry? How many children do we want? Where do we want to plant our roots for all ETERNITY? Etcetera. And it's also in our 20's that we don't know shit. (No offense twenty somethings) Who's idea was this anyway? Pffft! It's in our thirties where we really begin to see the light, maybe a little earlier for some and a little later for others . A-hem! That being said...I think a lot of people have these realizations and they look back on things they did, decisions they made and they ask themselves....WTF?!

That is where I am right now. I'm asking myself....what the hell were you thinking you silly girl! Get it together! <-----mentally shaking myself. Ahh, well. It's all a learning process. That is what we're all here for, right? My brain is entirely too small to try and sort out the universe and all it's mysterious workings at noon on a Sunday. However, I am trying to figure other stuff out and I have come to the conclusion that...damn, I'm complex! Not that it's a bad thing, but sometimes I can't help but feel a little envious of all the ignorant people out there. And we all know they're out there....living in sweet oblivion. You know what they say about ignorance...

I was recently complaining to a friend about some things, which is VERY rare , and she asked me why I was complaining because she said that I have lived a "very colorful life, a life where I have truly lived". This took me back a bit. I guess I have.... If colorful is what you want to call it, then....let's break out the crayons! If I wrote down all the highlights and lowlights of my life I could write a very interesting book, but couldn't we all? Everyone has a story to tell. My point is, that sometimes it takes an outside perspective to put things into perspective. It also takes you to step out of yourself for a moment to sometimes see things more clearly. We get tangled up sometimes in the external chaos and we lose sight of our inner selves and our purpose. Wow....this is getting too deep. My point is, I'm trying to find my way back....it's a cycle.

What brought all this on, you ask? I had a crazy ass dream last night. I'll leave the details out, but it made me realize things and I hate that! I don't want to think. I just want to be. I don't want to question my purpose for goodness sake! I just want to go shopping and buy up some good sales, play Hi-Ho Cheerio with Aidan, gossip with my girlfriends and talk about nothing significant and laugh and pretend everything is ok! Shit! Alas, one can only pretend for so long.... Can I get a witness???

Onto much lighter things....it's a new year and I'm so glad the holidays are over. I just wasn't feelin' it. At all. The decorations are down and put away and I'm ready for a better new year. Last year wasn't the best and it dealt us some crappy hands, but this year will make up for that. Aidan is still in remission and doing fantastic. Christian and Colton are still attatched at the hip, and Skyler, is...well, a teenager. Enough said. That is another blog entirely. And for the record, can I say how odd it is to raise a teen? I feel like I'm just coming away from all that awkard ickiness and now I'm going through it again, but through the eyes of a 14 year old boy. Lord help me! This time next year we'll be getting ready for him to drive. I'll make sure to warn you so that you can get all the teenage girls inside and all of your loved ones off the streets.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful, happy, prosperous and, more importantly, healthy new year!

XOXOXOXOXOXO

~Christy