January 6, 2008


My whole house is upside down. I'm painting. I hate painting. I live in an old house, it was built in the 30's and the entire interior is white. It's basically an asylum. We moved in one week before I started nursing school...it's obvious we've been busy as nothing has changed. It's time for change. I'm doing some recontruction, now that I have some extra time.

I have MORE orientation tomorrow. This orientation business is a little too much. We have to orient on how to lift, how not to restrain and how to keep a smile while waiting on angry people in pain and who are vulnerable. Sounds like heaven doesn't it? Wait...I do that at home..Ha, it should be a cinch.

Aidan is doing ok. He started a new chemo...it's a mean, nasty drug. He's so strong and brave. I watch him out of the corner of my eye every second and he notices. I get on his nerves. So, I'm learning to become a better pretender. I'd be a great spy. I pretend to be doing other things while inadvertantly assessing him. He worries me. Today he had a poopy and said it hurt his brain. So, I'm concerned about blood clots...it's a side effect. I told him not to strain, he doesn't understand. The steroid constiaptes him, so he can't help but strain...anyway...I'm talking about my child's poopy....I've hit a low point. He will be ok....one day at a time.

I don't know when I will start my job, I have to finish orientation first...who knows when it will end. More learning, more cramming....my brain hurts too. I bought the Kaplan NCLEX-RN study guide and will start that after the painting is finished. Ugh..I'm so scared of that test. It's always there, looming over my head like a big dark cloud. I did some practice questions out of the book and knew none of the answers...scary! I feel like I've forgotten everything already, let's hope not!

General Mood: Blah