January 7, 2008

Busy, Busy...

Tomorrow morning I have to go for my CPR recert and tomorrow evening I begin my very first shift on the floor. Yikes! I didn't find out about the cpr until today, so I need to refresh myself. I hate skilling in front of someone! It's so nervewracking. I also didn't find out about my schedule until today, so we have to do some major shifting around to accomodate my schedule...my husband isn't too happy. He'll get over it. Ha! I found out who my preceptor is, but I don't know her. My boss said she tried to pair me with someone who has the same personality as me...quiet and laid back. I didn't know I was quiet...but I am when around new people. Boy are they in for a surprise....he he he.

I'm not quite ready to start work. I flip flop a lot. One minute I'm ready to get started, the next I'm dreading it. I guess I know now that once I start work, that's it, there's no turning back. I hope I like my preceptor..I'll let you know tomorrow how the first night goes. I hope I can stay awake...

OH...I forgot to mention that I FINALLY finshed reading Gone With The Wind. It is cited by the New York Times as the "greatest american novel". It very well may be as it's the most "american" book I've ever read with the yankee's rebel yell and confederates marching in defeat and all. It took me near forever to get through the book as I only read one chapter at a time. I normally fly through books, but sometimes I had to sit with this one and let it marinate a while before moving on. The civil war era isn't my favorite time in history, but it was interesting reading about the time which is told mainly through Scarlett O'Hara's point of view. To address the slavery issue in the book, it made me uncomfortable, but for the most part the slaves in the story were almost treated like family, so it wasn't as harsh a read. Scarlet O'Hara is probably the most selfish heroine ever written on paper and so many times I wanted to smack her spoiled little self silly. Like Rhett told her...she was throwing happiness away with both hands and didn't even realize she was doing it...and she did and she lost, just when she realized what it is she really wanted from her life.

Scarlett lived her life on the surface of things....gowns, parties, beaux, flirting, barbeques, gaining attention and money then the yankees knocked on the south's front door and everything she thought meant anything was never more. The story is about how people deal with struggle, fear and tragedy. Some rise above and are strong enough to keep going, others falter and fade into oblivion. Only the strong shall survive, as they say, and Scarlett was a rock of strength and what drove her was poverty and hunger...oh and Ashley Wilkes, her sister in law's beloved husband. She finally got everything she wanted...money (thanks to Rhett), but she never understood the value of people instead of things... until it was too late. At the end of the book (and I hope I'm not spoiing anything because surely you all have atleast watched the movie before-gah!)when Rhett decides to leave her, he is so indifferent to her, he just "doesn't give a damn" anymore and that was one of the most heartbreaking parts for me because he is so full of life and loves Scarlett so much but she's too selfish and blind to realize it, then he's just over it, over her. I hated seeing his spirit broken more than I hated seeing Scarlet lose everything...she deserved it. It was also so hard when Bonnie (their daughter) died, I believe that Rhett died right along with her...so sad.

I enjoyed reading about the characters of the book as they were all so three dimensional, but the war part kind of bored me...I know, awful right? It felt redundant...the yankees are coming! the yankees are coming!...over and over. I guess she had to depict the story in a factual manner...so it took forever for the yankees to get there..dang. The backdrop of the book was beautiful, with Tara and it's red clay soil and sweeping willows, the booming and growing Atlanta, the gowns, parties, mint julips, southern gossip with the old crows...I guess I'm like Scarlet in a way....bored with war talk. I think that's the only way I related to her. Overall, I liked it and it's stuck in my mind a lot, that's always a good thing. Read it, but only if you have time...it's much too long.