A Traitor Walks Among Us

I have a confession to make. I applied for another job yesterday, which is in my hospital, and I'm questioning myself for doing so. <----Biting nails and darting eyes from side to side.

I have had one major complaint for about 9 months and that is my job. Not being a nurse, but being a nurse on my floor which is always, in the least, a chaotic place to be. I liken it to being in the middle of a storm while the siren is blaring in your ears for 12 hours straight and you are having to concentrate in the middle of it. It's so energy sapping and draining. I think a lot of it is the night shift. I'm just so tired, but more than that, it is the constant crap that they throw at us and don't care how we will ever get it done, but that we must.

So a position opened on another unit, It's a women's surgical unit and let me tell you...it is a different world there. Really. It has 14 beds, it is quiet...really quiet there...the patients are mostly younger women...hysterectomys and the like. It is so pretty there too. Nice cabinets, glass partitians, trendy waiting room furniture....they even have christmas decorations up. A beautiful Christmas tree, a lighted snowman, stockings with the nurses names hanging from the nurses station. They have a lot of time on their hands there, in other words. The dinamaps (sp), or BP machines rather, are all new....they have pulse ox's which are hard to come by on my floor and that REALLY pisses me off! It's just so new and posh and quiet and as NON chaotic as could be. It's like night and day from my floor. The matrixing is very nice....3 nurses to 14 patients with two assistants....is that a joke? That means that they may have 4 patients a piece. It's unheard of! On my floor we can only have two assistants if we have 22 patients! It makes absolutly no sense and that is WHAT ANGERS ME SO! They throw you to the wolves and smile while you're being eaten alive. It's such bullshit!

I have two very good friends who work there and they called to tell me of the opening. A little inside scoop. I was aprehensive and here is why....even if it doesn't make sense. Ok, so I started on med-surg, even if it does suck so hideously bad, I know the place, I have made awesome friends, I feel proud to say I'm a med-surg nurse because I have gotten to do and see everything and yes, that's an awesome feeling as a nurse. There is something about knowing how to do all of those skills and to feel competent. It's like a right of passage so to speak. On the women's unit where I applied, they don't do as many skills, they don't have telemetry patients and such. Like I said....it's quiet there. A part of me wonders if I'll feel less of a nurse. I know that sounds so silly, but it's true. I work hard and I like it, what I don't like is working so hard and still never getting some things done because there is just too much work to be done for one person alone.

Anyway....I'm afraid my boss will be pissed. She needs people right now. Plus the position is full-time nights. I work part-time nights right now and am not even sure if I want to go back to full-time. Plus....I was hoping to stay on my floor and wait until I found a day position somewhere so...arg. I'm just confused and can't help but feel like a traitor kinda. After last week on my floor I can't help but think that place is crazy and I need to get out and fast, but don't want to leave at the same time. I have a lot of decisions to make. Does anyone have any advice?????? I feel lost.