March 25, 2007

If I could just have one more week....

Well, it's Sunday. You know what that means? My spring break is almost ever. Yes, it's true. Tomorrow I have to go back to school..Ugh! My break has been wonderful. I have gotten a lot of things done, but this week has just been a tease. I really don't want to go back. Back to the grind, the stress, the teachers and the bs that goes along with it. Sometimes it feels like I'm in grade school all over again. Sometimes the best thing to do is to turn the other cheek, keep your lips sealed and vent silently to yourself or on a blog like I'm doing right now. I don't agree with a lot of things that are going on, but what can ya do? If you want to have an easy time of it, you'll do nothing and that is what many of us are forced to do...absolutly nothing. SO, with that being said I'm hoping these next 4 and a half weeks fly by because I'm ready for this semester to come to it's climactical end. Yes, I know I sound like a broken record, but I can't seem to think of anything else but it being finished.

I'm already having a bit of anxiety about returning. The air is thick with tension all around. It's suffocating sometimes. I knew the day I returned to school this semester that it wasn't going to be a good one. I felt it, the vibe. For a while I thought it was just my negativity that was clouding my judgement, but I soon realized that wasn't it at all. Others felt the same, therefore I knew I wasn't just imagining things in my head. I wasn't expecting easy, but I was hoping that I wouldn't grow to hate nursing school. I'm coming to despise it due to the politics of it all.

I really should have gotten caught up on my reading for psych, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just really wanted time away from all of that to focus on getting myself back in order. It really drains you, it does. I have to work hard for my grades, for some it comes easier. I'm not one of those people, so essentially it's like running a marathon. At first you have momentum, then you just get tuckered out and I am....exausted. Next semester will be better, I honestly don't think it can get worse than this. I hear all of our skills are done in the first two weeks of class, I believe there are 4 or 5 we have to do. Well, the only good thing I can say about that is...atleast we get it over with right off the bat right? It will be the last semester...I cannot believe it. I can't imagine the day I won't have to worry about a test ever again...aside from the NCLEX of course. I think if you can get through nursing school than anything is possible....anything. I will have been in school for 3 and a half years when all is said and done...that's a long time, especially when you don't have a break and you go full time. To think of all the things that are locked up tight in my brain. LOL Too bad they won't come out when commanded to. I do feel proud of all I've done, but it hasn't hit me just yet that I'm about to be a nurse. Maybe once I'm working then it will hit me. I know my husband cannot wait. He's ready for me to being home some bacon for a change. lol

Well, this post was mainly me complaining, so sorry about that. It's 80 degrees outside and I plan on spending my last day of freedom enjoying it.
Until next time....