TRICKERY!

Is it just me, or are fake breasts now the norm? Everywhere I look, it's fake boobies all around. Big knockers apparently aren't just for the rich and famous anymore. Everyone has them, from nurses I work with, to 60 year old patients. Is it so bad to have real breasts that actually move and change shape with different positions? Do men not find this attractive anymore? Seriously? I am asking because I need to know. Do you men out there not like anything that is REAL?!!!!! I have had 4 children, ok? My breasts look really good, I have to say...HOWEVER....a-hem.....I am real, 100%. I also have laugh lines and crows feet because I guess I smiled too much in the 80's. Damnit! This plastic surgery nonsense is out of hand. No one is perfect, especially not moi. Thank goodness my husband loves the real Christy and not some recontructed, Stepford wife, version of myself. But let me say, from the trends I am seeing, men can be completely shallow creatures. Are they the reason these woman flock to the OR to be cut open and readjusted? What are we now, cars? Pfft! Newsflash to all you men out there. Us REAL ladies don't look like those chicks on the covers of magazines. You have been fooled. Now, back to regularly scheduled programming. Grrrr!

I can understand if you are 25 and your breasts look like mosquito bites or you've had recontructive surgery, but why must a woman who is less than a size 'D' feel they need implants? Do these woman not understand how much of a complex that gives the rest of us 'real' folk? I suspect in 20 years no one will be completely 'real' at this rate. Children will be genetically perfect before they are concieved, no one will sport a little pooch in the mid-section, small breasts will be a thing of the past, everyone's teeth will be perfectly straight and gleaming white...acne?! What is acne? People will be having skin transplants too! What's next....micro chips to make our brains all operate the same. Na-Nu, Na-Nu. Shit! What's wrong with just being yourself? All of this because men think it's sexy? LMAO Is this all one big joke? Ashton Kutcher...where are you?

I don't want to compete. I just want to be me and feel good about that. All of these magazine covers, plastic surgery ads, super models can go straight to HELL. I am not ever getting a boob job, ever. I am going to live happily ever after with boobs that don't stand at perfect attention and never move, lines that show I have smiled a time or two and a little pooch in my tummy! Screw you Dr. 90210, and your tanned and perfecttly frozen face!