I spoke with my friend today. It was the most pitiful sounding voice I've ever heard. My arms ached just to hold and comfort her, but I knew that even if I could it wouldn't rid her of any pain she is feeling. I am just grateful I got to hear her voice and to tell her how much I love her. I hope she knows that.
She was so weak and is in undeniable pain both physically and emotionally. My heart broke at the sound of her voice. She told me what she remembered of the accident and I just don't think I can talk about the details, but today, she remembered and was told the whole truth.
Her story tore my heart out. She remembers willing him to wake up and he wouldn't. She just sounded so awful that I'm really, really worried about her emotional well-being. I could barely hear her through her quiet voice and tears. All she does is lay in bed, in pain thinking of that horrible night. My God, how will she cope? She blames herself and nothing I could say would change that. I really had no words. I was rendered speechless and tried my best just to listen.
A family member told me the extent of her injuries and it's worse that what I was initially told. She has 6 fractured ribs. Her arm is broken in several places. Her back is broken from T-7 to L-2. Her liver was lacerated and she has multiple neck fractures that I think the docs are saying may heal on their own, I'm not certain. Tomorrow she will have surgery on her arm. When I was told all of this, I was speechless again. It's a miracle she's alive.
Between my son, my sister in law and my best friend, I just don't think I can take anymore bad news. My empathetic heart just can't handle it all.
Hopefully I can visit her this week, she lives 3 hours away and some winter storms are coming. I really just need to be there and being unable to is torture. And I hope I'm not violating any HIPAA laws considering this is not my patient, but my friend. I don't know.
Thank you all for listening to me and leaving messages. I know you don't know her, but she is my very best friend in the world, the only person that has ever been there for me through everything. If you can...please say a prayer for stength and healing. She really needs it. I guess everyone does right now it seems. There are so many people affected by this one tragedy. The pain keeps going and going...
January 26, 2009